Story: The Worst That Could Happen

[Wussy]

Originally Posted by pseudoclever

Oh, and something you DON'T need to know: an Easter Egg. For you nerds out there, let me mention that in every one of my stories I always include the name of my favorite card from the game Magic: The Gathering. It's usually preceded by either "sheer" or "pure."

Bah. If it's not Platinum Angel its not worth mentioning. She's way too expensive and really easy to kill but I love her ability.

No matter how good a trip has been, there's just nothing that compares to that first breath of hometown air when you finally get back. That is unless it's the peaceful little moment right after you step out of your car, but before you face the reality of having to unpack.

This is rather awkward sounding. There's nothing better than hometown air. Except for this quiet moment. Why not just reword it to say "The only thing better than..." ?

I turned just in time to see a flash of magenta and denim, and by then it was too late.

Magenta is not neon pink. I had to re-read this part to figure out what he was actually seeing.

My assailant was flying headlong toward me, and before I could react she caught me hard in the center of my chest. ?Seth! You're back early!?

This wasn't the first time Candice had given me one of these impromptu tackles. It was probably her idea of revenge for all the Sunday afternoon football games I had forced her to watch. This habit might've become a problem, except that a girl who tips the scales at ninety-five pounds and five foot nothing in flats isn't much of a threat to take me down. Even if she DOES have the instincts of a linebacker.

I understand that she isn't a threat, but at least some reaction from "you" would've been nice. Did she make knock the wind out of you? Did she make you fall down in surprise? Did she bounce harmlessly off your rock-hard abs?

It's also a little strange that I don't know your relationship with Candice. Is she a girlfriend? Fiance? Wife? Friend-with-benefits? Who is this person?

I like the story so far. I think it has potential and I'm curious to see exactly what Candice has been up to for the past week. Demon summoning? Mystical incantations? Sorority hazing rituals?