Lorraine Jennings and the Curvy Corset

[Ryu_Knight]

Originally Posted by cyero

Guys, I'd really appreciate some critique on this.

okay

your story was put together fairly well, my problems I found was that you didn't totaly explain where your character came from and what she was doing there, or for that matter explain much about her at all, you said she was french, had large breast, and was immortal, you didn't explain why she was immortal and why she was watching that corset, you made the growth seem rushed but for a short story this short it was okay

next time work on describing your characters more, such as who they are, where they come from, and why there are there

also this might make me sound like a real ass but you don't ask for "critique" you're given critique, critique is for you to use for improvments but if you get none that means there is nothing to improve on, or people don't like it and don't want to critique