Gauging Interest - Rogue with a Cursed Ring

[Janus Steel]

Alright...

So the Rogue with a cursed ring has utterly changed into a girl cursed to shrink when she is feeling inferior. I'm calling it Tiny Joy's right now.

I just wrote a portion of this and would love some feed back. The entire portion of this, I'm trying a new writing tech when you just write the scene and then connect them together, takes place over a protracted set of text messages.

I'm still not 100% sure how to do texts in this but please. Let me know what you think of this scene. I have another couple of scenes I'm working through my head. Scene one she shrinks in a hot tub with her crush, scene 2 she shrinks in a pizza parlor with a fellow student. Eventually the crush is going to have the ability to control her shrinking and I have a scene where the two are studying and things aren't going well for the M.C.

Like I said, the concept really changed since I first did this and this was written today on my cell phone during a 4 hour call... figured I'd do something productive while the head office was telling us all about new features and stuff.

I think the thing I'm most disappointed with is there is no... real sense of fear in this. I want it to be a slow shrink from 4'10" to 2'5".

And I happily take any suggestions from the folks who live in this genre everyday.