Continuing tg story - praedatorius (Offsite)

[somnium]

This is the second chapter to a story I started back in January called Lots of Growing to Do. In this chapter Manny wakes up and realizes that he's been turned into a girl by Betty, the girl he's made fun of for the last few months. Now Betty is going to have her revenge, and with a heat wave rolling in that means only one thing: public pool!

Chapter 2
http://praedatorius.deviantart.com/#/d4qburz

Chapter 1
http://praedatorius.deviantart.com/#/d4m209s

[Hardcase]

Will Manny convince Betty to change him back? I'm curious to see.

Thanks for sharing!

[frice2000]

Naiad is the most interesting charater in this piece. The rest of the characters are a bit underwhelming. Betty not wishing for anything to reflect on her? Betty feeling no remorse or thought at all for the transformed Manuel? I get that he made her life hell but unless she's quite a mean person herself, which didn't seem to be the case with the first chapter, then she should be more hesitant to 'punish' him. Otherwise it had a neat style. Liked the kind of out there tone of the piece as well.

[somnium]

Originally Posted by frice2000

Naiad is the most interesting charater in this piece. The rest of the characters are a bit underwhelming. Betty not wishing for anything to reflect on her? Betty feeling no remorse or thought at all for the transformed Manuel? I get that he made her life hell but unless she's quite a mean person herself, which didn't seem to be the case with the first chapter, then she should be more hesitant to 'punish' him. Otherwise it had a neat style. Liked the kind of out there tone of the piece as well.

I have to admit: Betty and Manny are rather two-dimensional. I'll need to work on that as I continue writing the story.
I'm glad that you mentioned the tone, though. I'm trying to make my writing more exciting by doing more than describing boobs, so I'm happy that at least one person noticed the effort.