Four Types of Reactions (Mini-GTS/Slow/18+) - Page 8

SinisterTwin · 12-07-2009

Yeah, I'd have to echo most of the comments already given. Loved the story, especially the depth of characterization. However, for $25 this would be a bit short on length, and a few too many grammatical and spelling errors for my taste (spotted a couple more in the Epilogue). I suppose if this included some illustrations the price would be more reasonable.

Blood007 · 12-07-2009

I'm truly sorry I can't offer any constructive criticism, so instead I'll heap some positive feedback on. I'm not an English major, so I'll let SinisterTwin continue in his capacity as The Grammar Nazi.

You wrote an incredibly detailed and wonderfully narrated story. It balanced the storyline/background with the growth/sexual aspects so that one didn't overpower (forgive the pun) the other.

The only addition I might suggest would be some art commissions, maybe one per chapter. But it certainly wasn't necessary.

pseudoclever · 12-07-2009

(In response to the numerous length comments:

Indeed, this would be a fairly short novel. It came in at about 42,000 words, which according to my research is roughly the equivalent of 170 book pages.)

Incidentally, I don't think you'll have to wait TOO terribly long for the next piece from me. For those of you who are into anime, you might be familiar with the series FLCL. Its studio, Gainax, produced it largely to blow off steam after finishing a much longer work. IE, it's going to be shorter, written in a much looser style (Kurt Vonnegut's Breakfast of Champions comes to mind.)

And - bad news for most of you reading this, considering where I'm posting - it's going to be pure SW. Well, 98% pure.

Noxshade · 12-07-2009

It's studio Gainax. But I still see where you're going be cause writing this must have been something like making NGE. Except not nearly as hot.

qzar9999 · 12-07-2009

Quote:

Originally Posted by pseudoclever

And - bad news for most of you reading this, considering where I'm posting - it's going to be pure SW. Well, 98% pure.

Three cheers for pseudo! I always did like "My Lovely Sylvia."

12-07-2009	#85
SinisterTwin Frequent Poster Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: The city that rhymes with 'Fun' Posts: 249	Re: Four Types of Reactions (Mini-GTS/Slow/18+) Yeah, I'd have to echo most of the comments already given. Loved the story, especially the depth of characterization. However, for $25 this would be a bit short on length, and a few too many grammatical and spelling errors for my taste (spotted a couple more in the Epilogue). I suppose if this included some illustrations the price would be more reasonable.

12-07-2009	#86
Blood007 Lurker Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 21	Re: Four Types of Reactions (Mini-GTS/Slow/18+) I'm truly sorry I can't offer any constructive criticism, so instead I'll heap some positive feedback on. I'm not an English major, so I'll let SinisterTwin continue in his capacity as The Grammar Nazi. You wrote an incredibly detailed and wonderfully narrated story. It balanced the storyline/background with the growth/sexual aspects so that one didn't overpower (forgive the pun) the other. The only addition I might suggest would be some art commissions, maybe one per chapter. But it certainly wasn't necessary.

12-07-2009	#87
pseudoclever Frequent Poster Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 309	Re: Four Types of Reactions (Mini-GTS/Slow/18+) (In response to the numerous length comments: Indeed, this would be a fairly short novel. It came in at about 42,000 words, which according to my research is roughly the equivalent of 170 book pages.) Incidentally, I don't think you'll have to wait TOO terribly long for the next piece from me. For those of you who are into anime, you might be familiar with the series FLCL. Its studio, Gainax, produced it largely to blow off steam after finishing a much longer work. IE, it's going to be shorter, written in a much looser style (Kurt Vonnegut's Breakfast of Champions comes to mind.) And - bad news for most of you reading this, considering where I'm posting - it's going to be pure SW. Well, 98% pure. __________________ Stories by Pseudoclever My Lovely Sylvia (SW) An Expanded Hypothesis (SW/GTS) Big Surprises (GTS) Four Types of Reactions (GTS) ...and many others. Last edited by pseudoclever; 12-07-2009 at 09:16 AM. Reason: Gianax

12-07-2009	#88
Noxshade PEW PEW PEW Join Date: Apr 2009 Posts: 18	Re: Four Types of Reactions (Mini-GTS/Slow/18+) It's studio Gainax. But I still see where you're going be cause writing this must have been something like making NGE. Except not nearly as hot. __________________ The only defining characteristic between knowledge and belief is the point of view.