Curvaceous Cardinal Vices

[vidgamer85]

Hot damn, excellent chapter again sir. Who's up next I wonder...

[silverbolt2012]

Ah ha! So if their name is said they run away. This should be interesting for later chapters.

I especially liked the idea of Famine, making her a Centuress. That's a pretty neat idea. Will we be seeing the other horseme... horsewomen in the future?

[SoylentOrange]

Originally Posted by Hellstromm, Son of Satan

Look at the seven Hommonculli's names...

And again I ask, why on earth would I sully my carefully-crafted story setting with that crossover crap?

Originally Posted by vidgamer85

Hot damn, excellent chapter again sir. Who's up next I wonder...

Well, there's six more girls...

Originally Posted by silverbolt2012

I especially liked the idea of Famine, making her a Centuress. That's a pretty neat idea. Will we be seeing the other horseme... horsewomen in the future?

Yeah, that was kind of an on-the-fly addition. We knew we wanted a way for the girls to escape quickly, but it had to be something they couldn't just do all the time. Hitching a ride on a horsewoman of the apocalypse is something of a taboo, a serious imposition, so they can't use it whenever they want to travel back and forth between the mortal realm. Normal travel has to be through the negative energy portals, like the one by the golden gate bridge. We were trying to think of some good means of conveyance, when it just sort of occurred to us to use the four horsemen of the apocalypse as infernal taxis. And, given that this is a process-related story, of course they had to be horse *women*.

Spiral's got some good sketches we'll probably be seeing at some point of the horsewomen...

[hmmm!]

Originally Posted by SoylentOrange

Spiral's got some good sketches we'll probably be seeing at some point of the horsewomen...

Probably.

[cyero]

HURR, FULL METAL ALCHESMIST. :|

What in god's name do they even have to DO with this? IT'S JUST THE NAMES.

Also; <3. Will it be, Sin-Virtue-Sin, or Sin-Sin-Sin? Will he even meet the Virtues? >_>

[hmmm!]

Head up a few posts to my last one, and there you'll see that I've finally drawn a picture to accompany chapter 3 of the story.

[hmmm!]

Hey!

Got another pic up, if you'd like to see. Just head up a few posts.

I'm doing the four Horsewomen of the Apocalypse now.

[SoylentOrange]

It's beena while.... Way too long, atually. But, considering this chapter features SLoth, I think I can get a pass on this one, thematically. :P
=======================================

Part 4: Sally

"So, it actually worked? You went on a date?"
"Oh, quit acting like it's so special," Sid said as he bagged the groceries at the end of the checkstand.
"Prove to me it's not," Kevin shot back. "Er, your change, miss," He said, looking at his customer before turning back to Sid.
"So who was it?" He asked. "What kinda girls actually show up on those things?"
"...You wouldn't believe me if I told you," Sid replied, thinking back on the blonde bombshell that had all but forced herself upon him the previous night.
"Try me," Kevin prodded, grinning, before turning to the next customer. "Hello, sir, find everything okay?" He asked.
"Okay, well, she was tall, blonde, perfect skin, perfect figure, and she wore a red v-necked dres slit to her hip... and nothing else, as far as I could tell," He said.
"Do what?" Kevin asked, eyebrow arching as he looked over his shoulder at Sid, running the items by the scanner with his hands.
"No, seriously," Sid said as he stuffed he scanned items into grocery bags. "And the night went downhill from there."
"Downhill how?" Kevin asked, glancing briefly at his work before returning his attentions back to Sid.
"Well, like, she kissed me as soon as I opened the door. Full on the lips, tongue and everything." In fact, Sid could still taste lucy's lipstick just a little on his tongue; it was one of the reasons he'd been able to convince himself the events of the past night hadn't been just a dream.
"Riiight," Kevin said, looking skeptical.
"I'm serious!" Sid pleaded. "She wanted to drag me to the bedroom before we'd even really talked! I had to take her out to dinner just to keep her from... well..."
Kevin laughed. "'Dear Penthouse, I never thought it would happen to me...'"
"I'm serious!" Sid repeated yet again, trying to keep his voice neutral in the crowded supermarket. "And then, she wound up dragging me to that place with the waitresses and the-"
"Wait, stop," Kevin said, trying to keep from laughing. "Are you seriously telling me *she* wanted to- to go to-" he said before devolving into a fit of laughter, swiping the next customer's credit card with tears in his eyes.
"I'm telling you, it really happened!" Sid said as he tied off a bag of vegetbles. He wouldn't tell him about how he thought Lucy's breasts had somehow gotten bigger during their date- that was too insane to believe, even with the evidence pressed against his arm- but there was no denying Lucy and her larger-than-life personality had been real.
"So, that dating site hooked you up with a nympho, is that it?" Kevin asked. "Someone just trolling for warm bodies?"
"Well, I dunno," Sid said, thinking. "I mean, she was ready to go, that's for sure, but it wasn't like he didn't know what she was doing. She just... really liked it, I guess."
Kevin shook his head. "If it was anyone- *anyone*- other than you telling this story, I'd never believe it," he said, chuckling. "So how did it end? A night of sweaty passion?"
"...She ditched me, actually," Sid replied. "We went into this 'boutique' store, and she gave me the slip for some reason."
"Probably found someone as freaky as she was," Kevin scoffed. "You're probably better off without her."
"Well, no, don't say it like that," Sid said, shaking his head. "She seemed like a nice enough girl, just... over-eager."
"So you gonna try and hook up with her again?" Kevin asked.
"Eh... I dunno," Sid shrugged. "I think I'd like to find someone a little more laid-back..."

Pride's eyes went wide from her perch atop the building across the street, spinning around to the gathered sins on the rooftop.
"Sally!" Pride yelled, causing her to start fom where she was napping against a chimney.
"Whu...?" She asked, looking around bleary-eyed.
"You're the Mortal's next date," Pride said as she walked to the edge of the building, the other sins following her as she descended the stairs.
"Why me?" Sloth asked.
"He said he wanted someone a little more laid-back than Lus-Lucy," Gluttony said as she followed after Pride, the rolls of her fat jiggling and shaking as she took each step.
"Well, what about Erin?" Sloth asked. "Doesn't get much more laid-back than her."
Pride stopped on the landing, turning to face the assembed women on the stairs. "This could quite possibly be your greatest chance in millenia to impress Father, and you'd rather pass it up?"
Sloth cocked her head and spread her hands, giving Pride a quizzical look. "I am who I am, you know," She said.
"I-I don't think anyone is as carefree as Sally..." Envy said. She might have been up for it, if she thought she could handle the task...
"Agreed," Pride nodded, turning and continuing down the fire escape. "So it's settled. Sally will be Sidney's next date."
"Aww..." Sloth whined. "Do I-"
Pride's head whipped around, her eyes blazing violet for just a moment, long enough to silence Sloth in her track.
"For once your uselessness will be helpful," Pride said as they reached street level, the limousine already pulling up to the street. "All you need to do is make sure Mr. Graham does nothing, or at least little enough to tempt him towards your nature enough to allow us a claim on his soul."

* * *

"All right, so as Lust discovered last night, Sidney has a very stong will, at least against coercion," Pride said as she paced in the den. Sloth sat on the couch, elbow on the armrest and fist pressed into her cheek. The other sins were circled around the room, save Lust who was leaning against the doorway to the kitchen and looking put-out.
"'Coercion'? Wrath sneered. "Homie didn't know nothing about 'coercion'. You send me up there I'll show you 'coercion'."
"We want to tempt him, not beat him into submission," Greed said.
"Regardless of our personal feelings on the matter, Mr. Graham has made hs preference known," Pride said. "Sloth would appear to be our best bet for catching an unguarded entry to Mr. Graham's soul."
Pride turned to Sloth, who was still just resting on the couch, staring off into space. "That means go get ready," Pride intoned.
"Wha? But he doesn't get off work for-"
"I know how slowly you move, Sloth," Pride said, hands on her hips. "If you start now you might actually be able to get to his home by nightall."
"Aw..."
"*Move*."Pride said, and Sloth slowly decantd from the sofa, looking put-out.

Sid went into his bedroom, flopping on his bed like he normally did after work, just happy to be off his feet, to decompress a bit after work. Sid laid there staring at the ceiling for a few minutes before craning his head and looking at his computer. Like Kevin had said, his date the night before had been something out of a penthouse letter, but on the other hand he still felt a little... well, not "sore" about being stood up in the middle of an erotic boutique store, but he was curious just the same. Sid slid off his bed and went to his computer, logging on to the dating service website, hoping for an explanation or at least some sort of Mea Culpa from Lucy. Sid knew the likelyhood of a woman like that even remembering his name was slim, but it was still a little disappointing to see nothing from her since their date. There was virtually nothing from anyone, even- only a single message labeled "hi". Sid clicked on it, smiling at the simple message.
"Seem like cool guy wanna hang out?"
There was a picture atached, showing the girl- "Sally", from the file name- sitting in a large leather couch, waving. She looked good, if extremely casual, dressed in a hooded sweater ad board shorts, the hair that creeped out from under the hood looking clean if unkempt. Now this was something he could get behind, Sid thought as he replied. No hyper-active bombshell trying to jump hs bones, just a nice woman to share a pleasant evening with.
No sooner had he sent his equally terse reply ("Sounds good. When are you free?") than a message popped up in his browser from her.
"wow nice timing", she said. "so hows about tonight?"
"Tonight?" Sid asked back. "Well, I dunno- I still need to see about a few things. I'm sorta still recuperating from my last date, really."
"oh thats ok i dont like going out either. well just stay in and have fun."
Sid had to smile in spite of himself. "Sure, why not," He wrote. "When do you wanna meet? This weekend's pretty free for me."
"cool ill be by later see you soon", came the reply, and Sid laughed.
"No, not tonght- I meant this weekend sometime," He wrote back.
He leaned back in his chair, grinning. He thought ahead to the weekend, where it was true he didn't have much going on. He pretty much never had much going on on the weekends: sure, he'd hang out with his friends every once in a while, but most of the time he liked to just walk through the city, from the gleaming glass and concrete mirrors downtown to the ramshackle look of the old buildings on the wharf and the quaint claustraphobic architecture of chinatown.

His eyes wandered back to the chat window, his smile dropping just a little as he saw his last line still unanswered.
"Hello?" He typed in, waiting a few nervous seconds before repeating it. When there still came no response, Sid bolted from his chair, throwing off his shirt and hopping out of his pants as he made his way to the shower.
"Darn it all.." He said as he shut the door behind him.
After Sid got out of the shower, he went on a whirlwind cleaning tour of his apartment, fixing up everything for when Sally arrived. It's not that Sid kept an untidy home, but he was a bachelor and even nice for a bachelor still wasn't good enough for bringing a woman over. Sid tidied up the living room, the kitchen, and especially the bathroom, castng futrive glances to the clock on his VCR, about the only thing the tape deck was still good for these days, as he tried to balance working quickly with not sweating enough to necessitate a second shower. Finally, everything was spic and span, save for his bedroom, but Sid decided the best course of action there was to simply close the door. Neither of them would need anything from his bedroom tonight, especially after that Lucy woman, of that he was certain.

He sat back in the chair by the couch, facing the door. It had been nearly an hour since Sally had stopped responding, and if she was at al local (which, come to think of it, she hadn't said much of anything about) she'd likely be pretty close by this point. After a few minutes' waiting, Sid had the idea to go back into his bedroom and see if Sally had responded finally; maybe the whole thing was a ruse, a joke at his expense he'd fallen for. It wouldn't be the first time Sid had been made the butt of a joke because he was too trusting, though he supposd his home had needed cleaning anyway, so as far as practical jokes went this one wouldn't have been so bad. But the message was right as he had left it; "See you soon" with nothing further. Sid went back into the living room, figuring she must hve just been held up by traffic or something.

But still more time passed, and Sid began to get antsy. Had she gotten lost? Chinatown was a mess of buildings in certain parts, all the entryways and alleys bleeding into one another, and some of the building numbers hadn't been repainted in over thirty years. Sid opened his door and went down the little stairway, wondering if she would be able to find it. Maybe he should hang some kind of sign over the doorway? In a rare bout of modernization, Sid lamented that he didn't have a cell phone number for Sally so he could walk her through finding his apartment. Sid looked up and down the street, but realized it was foolish to wander the street outside his own home. He'd just have to wait it out and cross his fingers. In the meantime, Sid realized it was getting on to be dinnertime- he supposed there was nothing wrong with a snack, at least.

Time passed in a staccato rhythm of Sid hurrying through some activity only to end up waiting by himself as soon as he had finished. Every time he thought *now* she had to be almost there, and still he hurried, only to be silently rebuked for his unnecessary rush by a silent front door. Sid would fluctuate between being angry at his date's carelessness and disregard to concern for whatever might have transpired to forestall her arrival. When the knock finally came, Sid was laying half on the couch, his head on the armrest and his feet just barely touching the floor.
"Co-herm-coming!" Sid called out as he scrambled to his feet and dove for the door.
Sid opened the door and found Sally waiting behind it, looking much like she had in her photograph; red hooded sweater, yellow board shorts, and flip-flops. Her hood was down at the moment, letting her oddly brown-gray hair spill out on either side of her neck, a single scraggly bang hanging over her forehead like the branch of a weeping willow tree.
"Hey," Was all she offered as an answer to her lateness, letting herself in as Sid stood aside.
"So, uh, did you have trouble finding the place?" Sid asked, noticing as she passed a detail that hadn't been made clear in her photograph; Sally had an *enormous* behind, comparable to the waitresses sid had seen- had *thought* he'd seen- with Lucy the night before. He glanced away quickly, lest he be caught staring, but it really was an extraordinary size, worthy of Sir Mix-A-Lot.
"Nah," Sally said as she dropped down on Sid's couch, the impact from her bottom causing the springs and wood to creak slightly under her weight. "The taxi guy did well enough once he got the address figured out." Sally reached up into her hood and removed two packets of microwave popcorn, dropping them down on Sid's coffee table before reaching back up and taking out a sack of chocolate candies.
"Uh, I have food in the kitchen," Sid offered. "I could go make something-"
"Nah," Sally said, not even looking up as she took a pair of cassette tapes out of the front pockets of her sweater. "I ate already."
"Movies?" Sid asked, taking a seat next to Sally.
"Sure, just something fun, you know?" Sally asked, looking at Sid. "You can play these, right?"
"Yeah, sure," Sid said, taking the old VHS tape and turning it over in his hands. Who on earth still used VHSes? Sid mostly used his VCR for a clock these days.
"Well, so, you wanna watch 'em now?" Sid asked.
"Eh, no hurry," Sally said, "But whenever you feel like it, be sure and do up the popcorn first, yeah?"
Sid chuckled as he took the popcorn bags from the coffee table and headed for the kitchen. "So, Sally, what do you do?" He asked as he opened up the microwave door.
"Work, and it's boring in hell," Sally aid, leaning over to lie down on the couch. "You?"
"Oh, I work in a grocery store down the street a ways," Sid said, raising his voice as the kernels started to pop over the electric drone of the microwave.
"Doing what?" Sally asked.
"Oh, this and that," Sid replied, leaning against the counter. "I stock the shelves, run the cashier, clean a little when they need me..."
"On your feet all day?" Sally said with evident disgust.
"It's not so bad," Sid shrugged, "I've got-" he flinched as the microwave beeped at him- "I've got a good pair of shoes."
"Ugh," Sally spat. "Come on back to the couch and let's relax."
Sid smiled and pulled the bag out, shaking the kernles as he tore open the bag, keeping his hands away from the hot air that came billowing out of the opening.
"...You only popped one?" Sally asked, turning her head to Sid as he approached the couch.
"Well, I figured we'd pop the second when we switch movies or whatever," Sid replied. "That way we don't have to worry bout it getting cold."
"But you'll have to go into the kitchen again," Sally said.
Sid chuckled. "It's ten feet away. I think I'll manage."
Sally shrugged where she lay on the couch. "Suit yourself," She said. Sid stared at her for a few seconds, his smile fading into a quizzically raised eyebrow.
"...What?" She said.
"Were you gonna sit up, or should I just sit on top of you?" Sid joked.
Sally seemmed to actually think about her answer for a few seconds, before turning her head and lookng at the chair at the end of the coffee table. "What about that?" She asked.
Sid laughed again. "C'mon, sit up. It's not a date if we're on seperate pieces of furniture."
"Oh, all right..." Sally finally said, sitting up halfway. When Sid remained standing, she looked at him expectantly. "Well, what're you waiting for?"
"Er..." Sid croaked, sliding in and letting Sally rest her head in his lap. He sat there for a few seconds in awkward silence before the silence struck him as to what was out of place.
"Uh, we didn't put the movies in..." he ventured.
Saly shrugged. "Eh, I'm okay," She said. "Can I have some popcorn?"
"Sure," Sid said, holding the bag out to her. When she didn't take it, Sid looked to find her with her mouth open like a rasping goldfish.
"You must've have a long day," Sid chuckled as he picked a few kernels out of the bag and dropped them in her mouth. "But is this really all you wanna do tonight...?"
"Pff," Sally scoffed around the popcorn in her mouth. "Why is everything always about 'what do you wanna do?' Why is that always the first thing people say?"
"Um... because you gotta do *something*, right?" Sid offered, his mouth half-cocked into a crooked smile. He couldn't tell if she was joking or if she was serious, and furthermore couldn't decide which option was funnier.
"Says who?" Sally demanded before swallowing. "Everyone treats life like it's some kind of race, like they're in a hurry to get somewhre all the time. What's your rush? You think you're gonna get somewhere the rest of the world isn't?"
"Well, I dunno..." Sid said, taking a few of the kernels and chewing on them.
"You don't know?" Sally echoed. "Okay, lemme ask you this: How many aboriginal tribesmen or tibetan monks you know of that get nervous breakdowns?"
"Well, none, I guess," Sid said, dropping another couple kernels into Sally's mouth. "But is it really the best way to spend a life? Be a hermit?"
"Nawt uh huhmit," Sally retorted, swallowing her popcorn before continuing. "Just... I don't know, don't worry so much. No one ever lays on their deathbed wishing they'd spet more time at the office."
"Well, yeah," Sid nodded, "But surely there's got to be a balance between doing nothing and doing too much..."


Pride felt a shiver run down her neck as she watched Sloth work on Sidney. She shook the feeling off and continued watching, along with the rest of the sins in the viewing room.
"Man," Gluttony belched, "She's really going to work on the kid."
"I don't think I've seen her work this hard for a mark in a couple centuries," Greed agreed.
"She's not home free by a long shot," Lust said, armms crossed under her enormous bosom as her tail slowly swished back and forth. "Kid's got an iron will, he's just humoring her."
"If there is one thing lard-ass is known for, it ain't working fast," Wrath said, lying on her futon and rubbing a grinding stone against her horns.
"Indeed," Pride said, nodding. "Sloth's strength doesn't lie in influencing mortals to do things against their natures; it lies in simply convincing them not to do things."
"So we really wonn't know how good a job she's doing until he wants to do something," Gluttony finished.
"Yeah, but I'd be *real* surprised if she winds up getting the credit for this one," Greed said. "You saw how he did against Lust."
"Perhaps," Pride said, folding her arms over her chest and pinching her chin between her thumb and forefinger. "But while not all mortal men are sexual creatures, *all* mortals are lazy. It is the cornerstone of Father's contracting wing, it wouldn't be nearly so profitable if it wasn't true. Mortals want the easy way out. More than anything, Sloth provides an easy and accessible means of that." Pride spread her arms and shrugged her shoulders. "If you wish to avoid disappointment and failure, simply don't try."
"We'll see," Lust huffed. "The kid's good."



"..That's what I'm saying," Sally said. "Don't just run through life- let *it* pass through you, just sit back and smell it, hear it, see it for yourself instead of always trying to change everything about it and freaking out when you can't."
"Well..." Sid fidgeted in his seat. "Let's put on the movie, at least," He said, sliding himself out from under Sally's head.
"Okay," She replied simply, turning onto her side. Sid couldn't help but notice that Sally's wide hips made something of a ridiculous fulcrum, her legs and torso hanging down to the couch from the height her hips had thrust her spine and legs up to.
"You, uh, comfortable like that?" Sid asked.
"I will be once you get your ass back here and under my head," Sally said, allowing herself a wry grin.
Sid chuckled and sat back down on the couch, sliding his leg up against Sally's shoulder and letting her head rest on his thigh.
"Oh, shoot, I forgot the remote," Sid said, snapping his fingers and sliding away from Sally before she grabbed a fistful of his pants leg.
"Just leave it," She said. "It's not gonna kill us to watch the trailers."
"O-okay," Sid replied, sitting back against the couch cushions.
They engaged in a bit of small talk, but mostly they watched the movie, laughing now and then. Sid did have to admit he was certainly enjoying the pace of this date more than his previous one.



"Burning brimstone balls, this is boring..." Wrath said, doing squats in the corner of the room. "When do we get to the good part?"
"Wrath-" Pride started.
"I mean, aren't there some souls I could be torturing or something? A warlord who needs a little push in the right direction? This crap is a waste of time!"
"You will stay and you will watch," Pride said, her voice deepening. "If Sloth fails, what we learn from her failure will aid future atempts."
"Shoulda just sent me in the first place," Wrath said, grabbing her horns and shaking her head violently from side to side, her neck popping with every jerk. "Mortals are sissies, they get angry over any stupid thing you throw at 'em. A shove in the right direction, and bam! He's ours," She said, accentuating her words by pounding a fist into her palm.
"Mortal men especially, always gotta prove how badass they are so no one looks at what's missing in their shorts."
"Lust thought the same way," Greed quipped, "And look how well she did."
"So he's a fag, big deal," Wrath spat. "They get angry just as much as everybody else. Hell, more so, as shitty as everyone treats them.

"
"Nevertheless," Pride said, "We're to wait on the results of this mission. If it turns out he looks for someone with your qualifications, you wil be next in line."
"Buncha crap..." Wrath muttered as she folded her arms, glancing at the viewing mirror. "Oh, you gotta be kidding me..." She said, her hands dropping to her sides.
"What?" Greed said, leaning close into the mirror.
"She's faking to be asleep...?" Gluttony offered, squinting at the image.
Pride stepped in front of the mrror, squinting at the pair. "No..." She said, pinching her temples with her thumb and middle finger, "She's not faking."
"You've got to be *kidding* me," Wrath said, putting her face in her hands. "Whose bright idea was it to send *her*?"
Pride's eyes narrowed as she turned and glared at Wrath, who caught the glance and turned away, scowling.
"For someone with such an enormous butt, she sure half-asses things a lot," Greed sighed, all four hands holding her head as she shook it.
Pride exhaled sharply through her nose, clamping her eyes shut. "...All right," She finally said, standing straight and turning for the door. "I'm going to go take care of things. You stay here and let me know as soon as she wakes up, provided she doesn't expose her infernal form to half the mortal realm..."

Pride left the room, and the gathered sins shared a look. Wrath turned away and headed for the door, leaning the side of her head against it.
"...What're you doing?" Greed asked, sitting up in her futon.
"I'm getting out of this dump, that's what," Wrath said, taking her head away from the door ad opening it. I'm not gonna sit here and watch these morons sleep."
"Well if you're going, I'm going too," Greed said, standing up.
"Whatever," Wrath said, opening the door the rest of the way and leaving the viewing room. Greed caught the handle before the door had fully shut, and eft herself, leaving Lust, Envy, and Gluttony watching Sloth sleep on Sidney Graham's lap.
"Well, I'm sure as sure staying," Lust said as she wandered over to onle of the closer futons and plopped down in it. "Sloth is going to fail, mark my words, and I'm going to be right here to make sure none of the gory details go unreported." She finished, crossing her arms under her breasts.
Envy tucked her knees up against her chest, looking at Sloth and Sidney's faces. "They look so peaceful..." She said to herself.

It was about ten minutes after Sally had stopped laughing at the jokes in the movie that Sid noticed she was asleep, her breathing a slow, steady pace unaffected by the outside world. He realized further when he shifted in his seat that Sally's arms had become entangled in him during the movie; she was wrangled her elbow underneath his thigh, like his leg was a pillor she had pinched between her arm and her head. Sid tried to disentangle himself from Sally, but she squeezed harder, and Sid relented. Sid looked at the VCR's remote, still sitting on top of the televsion set, and idly wished he had some sort of ability to move things with his mind. He held a hand out to the remote, fingers splayed, and made vaguely chant-like noises under his breath. Nothing happened, of course, and sid sighed, rolling his eys as he put his arm on the couch's armrest and leaned his head back. He clicked off the lamp next to the couch, looking down at Sally as the glow of the television illuminated her features. Now there was the sleep of one with a clear consience, Sid thought as he rested his other arm on her shoulder. Sally gave a contented Sight as Sid petted her the way one would a sleeping pet, payng half-hearted attention to the movie. Sid yawned, leaning his head against the back of the couch. It was rather late, after all...

It was the incesant droning of television snow that finally pulled Sid back to consiousness, if only just. Held down by a thick fog of fatigue, Sid couldn't even open his eyes as he yawned. He stretched his arms to the ceiling, a strained grunt/sigh slipping through his grimmacing lips. As he let his arms drift back down to the couch, he felt his energy leave him, as if just the act of stretching had somehow taxed him. He leaned back against the couch, letting a breath out through his nose. As he went to put his arms in his lap, his left hand brushed up against omething odd. Frowning, but unwilling to shatter the illuson of sleep by opening his eyes, Sid turned his hand over and felt something smooth yet slightly pebbly, squishy almost. He followed the curve of the odd shape, finding it tapering, with a few soft cylinders sticking out of it. Sid gave the unusual shape a squeeze, and found himself very suddenly on the floor, Sally's yelp barely registering as his shoulder hit the coffee table and he spun onto his back.

Sid grasped for the edge of the coffee table, his already limited consiosness reeling from the sudden motion. He opened his eyes, but the picture was blurry, unfocued, like looking through a camera with lip balm smeared on the lens. All he could make out was a large pink and red blob he assumed had to be Sally. Sid Groand and lay flat again, rolling over onto all fours as he heard shuffling and scrambling on the rug. Putting a hand on the coffee table, Sid pushed himself upright, wiping the sleep from his eyes. When his vision finally cleared, Sid saw his cofee table knocked to the side nd the popcorn bags flttened paper-thin, but Sally was nowhere to be found.
"...Sally?" Sid asted, taking a step towards the couch, leaning over it.
"Uh, hi," Sally said from where she squatted, looking up and blushing. Her hoodie and horts were on awkwardly, her sandals scattered on the floor behind her, giving the look as though she'd been caught dressing.
"What're you doing...?" Sid asked, caught between confusion and amusement.
"I, uh, move around in my sleep sometimes," Sally said, blushing as she stood.
"Must be some kind of movement," Sid replied, standing straight and running his hands trough his hair. Sid went over to the VCR and ejected the tape, doing a double-take when he saw the time. "Aw, geeze, I gotta get ready for work..." He said as he made for the bathroom. He had nnearly made it around the couch when Sally caught the cuff of his jeans in her hand.
"Wha...?" Sid asked as he looked under his arm at Sally.

* * *

"What? What's going on?" Pride yelled as she ran into the viewing room.
"She's got him!" Gluttony exclaimed, leaning forward, her upper jaws clacking together.
"What do you mean, 'got' him?" Pride asked as she came around to the mirror. "Is she- what is she doing?"
"Trying to convince him to stay home, I think..." Envy said, watching intently from her seat.
"Well, it's the one thing she's good at..." Pride admitted. "If she can get Sidny to neglect his job, it might be enough to tip him to a position we can take advantage of."
"If she puts the effort into it..." Lust said, with more than a hint of smugness.
"...Why can't we hear through these dumb things again?" Greed asked as she came up behind the knot of demonesses looking into the mirror.
"Quiet, and watch," Pride said, looking for any change in Sid's facial expresion or any other clues as to his mental state.

* * *

"Come onnn..." Sally begged, still holding on to the cuff of Sid's jeans, "Just call in sick. One day won't hurt anything."
Sid, for his part, was trying to keep a straight face. "B-but I didn't get anyone to cover my shift..." He said, grinning.
"Oh, they're a grocery store, they can handle one checker being gone for one measely day," Sally protested. "C'mon! We never even got to do anything last night!"
"You were the one saying it shouldn't always have to be about 'doing stuff', weren't you?" Sid asked as he tried to pull his leg away, but Sally's grip was sure.
"Doing nothing doesn't count if you're not awake to enjoy it!" She protested. "That's like... super-nothing."
Sid finally broke out in laughter. "Look, we can get together this weekend, or something, okay?" He tugged at his pant leg. "Now leggo, I gotta go to work and that's final."
Much as she didn't want to, Sloth knew her limits. She could tempt, she could coerce, but she couldn't physically force a mortal. She released Sid's pant leg with a sigh, rolling onto her back on Sid's floor. Sid stumbled back a step as his leg was freed, then wennt into his room for a change of clothes.
"It's not the end of the world," He said as he closed his door most of the way, peeling off his shirt and fishinng into his dresser for another. "We can meet again on the weekend or something."
"Awww..." Sally whined. "Are you sure?"
"It's only two days away," Sid replied as he doffed his jeans and pulled a fresh pair from his dresser. "It's no big deal."
"But why leave now, when we were just starting to have fun?" Sally asked.
Sid laughed. "Look, Sally, you seem nice, and I have fun hanging out with you, but I can't just sit in side all day, it's not me."
"There's nothing wrong with-"
"I just, I get to feeling weird, like a slug or a sloth or something, like I'm just-"

Sid's head jerked to the front room as he heard a slam and shuffling of footsteps.
"Sal-sally?" Sid asked, stumbling as he tried to move with his legs only half-in his pants. "Sally?" He repeated as her opened the door to the front room, holding his pants up by the fly's button. She had vanshed, the front door flung open. Sid hobbled out the door, looking up and down the sairway. "Sally? Sally!" He loked around some more, but being in no condition to chase someone down the street, he hobbled back to his apartment and shut the door. "What was that all about?" Sid thought as he scratched his head.

Sid looked around where Sally had been, searching perhaps for any clues. Why had she run off so suddenly, without even saying goodbye? Had she forgotten something important? As sid moved the coffee table to its orignal position, he bent down to pick up the popcorn bags from the night before, only to find them gone from the floor. Curious, he bent down and looked under the couch, but didn't see them there either. Not a single dropped kernel, not a trace of popcorn anywhere. Where did they go? Sid thought. It's not like she could have grabbed them al up in the three seconds from the floor to the door, right? Sid stood up, dusting off his pants and heading to his bedroom for a fresh pair of socks and his shoes. He came back to the couch and sat down, whipping out his socks a few times. As he pulled his first sock on, he noticed an odd smell, something acrid and bitter. Puzzled, leaned down and he pulled his foot up to his chest, giving his feet a sniff. The smell wasn't any more powerful, so that couldn't have been the source; neither were his socks or even his shoes, though the latter probably could have used an odor eater at that point. Sid stood and wandered around the coffee table, picking up the scent and following it to its most pugent, right near his VCR. Right where the tapes had been, he thought, as mysteriously vanished as the popcorn.
"Oh, crap!" Sid exclaimed as he caught the readout on the VCR's digital clock, all curiosity about the strange smell shoved aside. "I'm gonna be late!"

* * *

"Whoa! Hey! Where'd you come from?"
Sloth sighed as she regarded the empty eye socket of the skull turned towards her. "Hey Death."
The horsewomman reached town to the neck of her bony equine half, where a collection of hourglasses swung from. Pulling one up over her equine head, she looked down on it with her humanoid head, the brow over her one intact eye furrowing.
"Okay, make it quick," She said, turning back to Sloth. "and watch the pointy bits."
"You're *all* 'pointy bits'," Sloth said as Death's exposed vertebrae poked into her plush bottom. "You've barely got enough skin on you to make a bikini for Envy!"
"Hmph," Death said as she dropped the hourglass, her hooves beating a frantic rhythm through the air. "So, what? Just got bored and couldn't bother to find the nearest dark nexus?"
"No!" Slouth said, crossing her arms over her chest. "Though, yeah, that sounds like me..." She added, ooking up and thinking.
"Can we get on with this...?" Death asked, both her heads looking back at her as she waved Sloth on, her long fingers waving ina circle.
"Oh! Right," Sloth said. "I'm on a job from the low office, and the mark caled me by my name right as I was... rrr, *this* close," She said, holding two of her claws barely apart.
"So, what? You want me to go shank the kid?" Death asked, hefting her scythe from off her shoulder and holding it in front of her, her empty human socket and both equine ones glowing with ghostly blue auras.
"What? No!" Sloth replied, wide-eyed. "Pride would have my head!"
"So, what then?" Death said, putting her scythe back over her shoulder.
"Just, take me home," Sloth said.
"All the way in the 8th?" Death said, her jaw dropping open in surprise. "Can't I just drop you off in Pandemonum or something, take a chariot...?"
"C'mooonnn..." Sloth pleaded.
Death picked up another hourglass and squinted at it, then sighed, rolling her one intact eye. "Fine. Fine! Not like I've got a schedule to keep or anything..." She said, snugging her tattered black robe to her shoulders. "Hang on, I'm gonna make this quick..." She said, and Sloth grabbed two of er exposed ribs as handles, gritting her teeth as Death took a sharp dive down towards the lower circles of hell.

"Okay, off, off," Death said as she trotted up to the front of the Sins' house, bucking slightly. "I gotta move, I'm late."
"Okay, okay!" Sloth said as she scapered down off of the horsewoman as fast as she could.
"Bye!" Death yelled as she ran off, the clomping of her bare-boned hooves echoing through the canyone before she lifted off into th air.
"Sheesh..." Sloth said as she walked to the front door, rubbing the tender spots on her butt where Death's bones had poked in- or at least the ones she could reach.

"You failed."
Pride's statement came before Sloth was even all the way through the door, startling her.
"Ah!" She yelped, jumping. "Oh, uh, hi girls."
Pride stood in the foyer, arms crossed over her chest, eyes narrowed. Wrath, Greed, Lust, Gluttony, and Envy waited behind her, watching with various levels of interest.
"You failed," Pride repeated.
"I- well- I was getting there!" Sloth said. "I'm sure if I coulda worked on him another day or two-"
"Yet here you are," Pride interrupted.
"Stupid Linnaeus," Sloth said, putting her hands on her hips. "Ever since he named that stupid mole after me, my job's so hard. Nobody's named an animal after you guys!"
"Oh, like I could go to the mortal plane for more than ten seconds after that dumb movie came out," Greed retorted. "Yeah, it *is* good, but they didn't have to *say* it all the time!"
"Enough!" Pride snapped, leaning in close to Sloth. "Your excuses do not interest me. Tell me what you've *learned*..."

[cyero]

Noice. I especially like the last bit. :'D

I'm guessing iether... Greed or Wrath will be next?

[SoylentOrange]

Originally Posted by cyero

Noice. I especially like the last bit. :'D

I'm guessing iether... Greed or Wrath will be next?

Which part of the last bit, and why them out of the remaiing five?

[hmmm!]

A new chapter to the story, and a new pic. This isn't the "title pic" that I'll do, but it is another of the cast. If you've read the most recent installment (a couple posts above this one) then you've met her. Like Famine from last chapter, she's another Horsewoman of the Apocalypse- Death!

[cyero]

Mainly due to banter and the reference to Carolus Linnaeus.

Iunno. IT'S IN MY MIIIND