free hit counters
"Hello Cathryn" Chapter 1 [Crappy SAW Story] - The Process Forum
The Process Forum  

Go Back   The Process Forum > Content Forums > Shrinking Process

Inflation and Process ClipsProcess Productions Store Inflation and Process Clips

Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Unread 01-31-2016   #1
whyamihere
Banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 322
Post "Hello Cathryn" Chapter 1 [Crappy SAW Story]

***WARNING! THIS MAY BE SHIT!***

// So I've just gotten into the saw movies and I'm obsessed! The movies are amazing and while watching them I had the idea of a shrinking game thing. This takes place around the 1st and 2nd movie back when Jigsaw was alive and well. Enjoy!

Cathryn woke up with a thud to the sound of loud banging. It was pitch black and she could barely see, all she could make out was a mirror in front of her. She saw her straight brown hair, blue eyes, T-Shirt and jeans with a pair of toms on, strapped to a chair. An immediate surge of panic rushed over her body as she realized what was going on. She was the newest victim of the jigsaw killer...

Just as she realized this, lights flashed on revealing her in the middle of a rust old room with nothing in it but her, the mirror, and a flat screen TV mounted on the wall in front of her. She knew what was going to happen and sure enough it did. The notorious clown appeared on the screen and began to speak:

"Hello Cathryn, I want to play a game... For years you've done nothing but stomp on those lesser than you, abusing desperate individuals who try to make an honest living cleaning your house or making you food. In return you've blackmailed, abused, and underpaid those people, never caring about those poorer than you, smaller than you. Well today, you will learn what it feels like to be the little guy. The question is, will you be able to handle it?..."

As he finished an x-ray of her stomach appeared on the scree, revealing a stone block.

"I have currently drugged you with a shrinking formula, and inside your stomach is a specialized metal that can withstand the stomach acid. That block will not shrink with you, so if you don't succeed... you will be ripped from the inside out..."

Cathryn began to panic, screaming for help and trying to break free, but to no avail.

"If you want to maintain your life and find the antidote, you will have to learn how it feels to be abused by someone bigger than you."

One of the walls to the side of her started to rise up, revealing a giant, linear car squishing like machine with a key at the end, and a door to the side of the machine.

"You must learn go in the machine and retrieve the key before getting squashed to death. I warn you, you have about 60 minutes until you will perish. Live or die Cathryn, make your choice..."

The TV shut off and Cathryn was free from her bounds, and the TV turned on again to show a clock ticking down from 60:00. Cathryn was in complete panic at this point. Banging nearby walls calling for help, but she felt her clothes getting all the more loose. Making her fully realize she was indeed shrinking. She rushed to the machine in great haste and walked in immediately, this triggered the top part of the machine close down to the bottom very quickly, Cathryn ran as she could but tripped on her now slightly big shoe and the wall starting to crush her, she screamed as she crawled through the path with her spine squeezing down her body. She would've died if she had not been shrinking, causing her to have more room to move, the only problem being having progressive more room to have to crawl through, she eventually got to the end and jumped out as fast as she could, her feet shrinking before being crushed. She fell on the floor panting and holding back tears of pain. She stood up, only to have her jeans sag down a bit, causing her to have to tighten it and grab the key, the machine rose back up and she grabbed her flattened Toms and put them back on, they where a little loose but still usable for now. She hastily unlocked the door and went to the second room.
whyamihere is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 02-02-2016   #2
JasonSlayer
Frequent Poster
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 154
Re: "Hello Cathryn" Chapter 1 [Crappy SAW Story]

Well, how about we call this a first draft? You do have a good premise and well-written shrinking, but it feels a little too "stream of consciousness".

Maybe try going into a bit more detail on a thing or two here and there.

I'm just saying, both as a writer and a shrinking fetishist.
JasonSlayer is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 02-02-2016   #3
LK
Process Disciple
 
LK's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 3,258
Re: "Hello Cathryn" Chapter 1 [Crappy SAW Story]

It's so funny that when I did my last snippet, it was also stream of conscious.

I should try that more.

She was provided a small respite before approaching what lay ahead. Already the effects of the formula were being felt. The waistline of her jeans were caught up on her wide hips; a man would need a belt. Her shoes were servicable, but they should have been comfortable. Even standing as she was now, she could shimmy her foot within the shoe and feel the extra give between skin and canvas. Her shirt was the least worrisome as its extra volume and give were no restriction on her freedom.

Under different circumstances, she would be fascinated with the idea of it. Who among many have been able to experience what she was now? The life-or-death of it was the only downside. That, and perhaps the permanency of it. She had no reason to trust that the voice would have an antidote; blind hope was all that was motivating her.

The voice had not even been clear whether she would be restored or she would stop shrinking. In the latter case, every moment spent idling was more of a change to her future than she could bear. A couple inches? She could manage. A pair of heels or platforms, and it was like nothing had happened. But feet? She would become an outcast.

Taking a deep breath, she sprinted forward, fully aware of her heels pulling out of her shoes with every step. Whoever this bastard was, he was going to get his due. But her resilience was undermined by the creeping sense of powerlessness that she experienced with every new sensation of the enlarging world around her.

*shrugs*
__________________
LK is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 02-03-2016   #4
whyamihere
Banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 322
Re: "Hello Cathryn" Chapter 1 [Crappy SAW Story]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Am_Ljw1SmU
That was really good.
whyamihere is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 02-03-2016   #5
whyamihere
Banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 322
Re: "Hello Cathryn" Chapter 1 [Crappy SAW Story]

It kinda was a rough draft. I'll work on it some more. Thanks for the feedback!
whyamihere is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 02-04-2016   #6
whyamihere
Banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 322
Exclamation "Hello Cathryn" Chapter 1 Revised [Collaborative SAW SW Story]

So just for the hell of it turned this into a collaborative saw tale, meaning if you want to make the next chapter, you can! Just have this is mind:

- There needs to be process, but not enough the main character dies of the block
- I will make the final chapter
- Have the traps be based off the reason why she is there, that shes using people lesser than her for her own personal gain
- Please don't make this a full on porn story i.e "Put yourself in her vagina to get the key"

Good idea or shit? idk heres my revised chapter 1:

Cathryn woke up with a thud to the sound of loud banging. It was pitch black and she could barely see, all she could make out was a mirror in front of her. She saw her straight brown hair, blue eyes, T-Shirt and jeans with a pair of toms on, strapped to a chair. An immediate surge of panic rushed over her body as she realized what was going on. She was the newest victim of the jigsaw killer...

Within mere moments of her realization a surge of light roared from the ceiling downwards, revealing Cathryn in the middle of what looked to be a room of an abandoned warehouse, with rust covering the walls and floor, spiders crawling through cracks, and something she hadn't seen yet, a flat screen television perfectly mounted on the wall in front of her. She knew what was going to happen as she studied Jigsaw before, and sure enough she was right. The notorious clown puppet appeared on the screen and began to speak:

"Hello Cathryn, I want to play a game... For years you've done nothing but stomp on those lesser than you, abusing desperate individuals who try to make an honest living cleaning your house or making you food. In return you've blackmailed, abused, and underpaid those people, never caring about those poorer than you, smaller than you. Well today, you will learn what it feels like to be the little guy. The question is, will you be able to handle it?..."

As he finished an x-ray of her stomach appeared on the screen, revealing a small block inside, it looked like it was about the size of a corn flake, and appeared to be in perfect condition.

"I have currently drugged you with a shrinking formula, and inside your stomach is a specialized metal that can withstand stomach acid. That block will not shrink with you, so if you don't succeed, you will be ripped from the inside out..."

Cathryn began to panic, she knows Jigsaw doesn't fuck around, but a shrinking formula? He has to be kidding! Regardless she knew she had to listen or she will miss the instructions.

"If you want to maintain your life and find the antidote, you will have to learn how it feels to be abused by someone bigger than you."

To her right she saw the wall standing there sliding downward, revealing a giant, linear machine that looked to be at least 4 yards long, it had a car crushing design with the top of the contraption connected to a chain that looked like it was barely keeping the large metal afloat, at the end was a key on top of a pedestal and behind that was a metal door, it looked similar to something you would see in a high security correctional facility.

"You must learn go in the machine and retrieve the key as the machine steps on you, just like how you step on others trying to get somewhere they need to be. I warn you Cathryn, you have about 1 hour until you will be too small to support that block, and you will be ripped from the inside out. Live or die Cathryn, make your choice..."

The TV shut off and Cathryn and felt her binds retract and free her. Cathryn started to panic and call for help, but was quickly shut off by the feeling of her clothes getting all the more loose. Making her fully realize she was indeed shrinking. Cathryn went into full on auto pilot as she rushed to the machine and leaped inside, this triggered the top part of the machine close down to the bottom very quickly, Cathryn ran as she could, realizing the machine was longer than she originally thought, she suddenly tripped on her now slightly big shoe and the wall started to crush her, she screamed as she felt her spine squeezing down on her body. Feeling every bone condense into itself and bend, her shrinking started to come in handy as it gave her room to crawl at the cost of her other shoe slipping off. The only problem is she had progressively more and more room to crawl through, she eventually got to the end and jumped out as fast as she could, her feet shrinking before being crushed. She fell on the floor panting and holding back tears of pain. She forced herself up, trying to ignore the pain, only to have her jeans sag down a bit, revealing a bit of her panties "Of all the days to not wear a belt!" she grumbled under here tears, she tightened it and grabbed the key, the machine rose back up as soon as the key was obtained and she grabbed her flattened Toms and put them back on, they were about half a size bigger but she could use them, when she walked her heel revealed itself. She hastily unlocked the door and went to the second room...


If you wanna make the second room go ahead! LK I say you do it you're good at writing :P
whyamihere is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 02-16-2016   #7
whyamihere
Banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 322
Re: "Hello Cathryn" Chapter 1 [Crappy SAW Story]

Well, guessing that was a dumb idea then. Alright.
whyamihere is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 02-16-2016   #8
tjlemke
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,027
Re: "Hello Cathryn" Chapter 1 [Crappy SAW Story]

Won't lie, it was. Might've had more bites if the story was more relatable.
tjlemke is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 02-17-2016   #9
whyamihere
Banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 322
Re: "Hello Cathryn" Chapter 1 [Crappy SAW Story]

True. I was in a SAW loving fase and got bored of making shit when other people could do better. Oh well I guess
whyamihere is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 02-17-2016   #10
whyamihere
Banned
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 322
Re: "Hello Cathryn" Chapter 1 [Crappy SAW Story]

Personally you'd think this would be fun to write/rp since its an entire game scenario about her shrinking. With each height having an impact until the end.
whyamihere is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 02-17-2016   #11
tjlemke
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,027
Re: "Hello Cathryn" Chapter 1 [Crappy SAW Story]

I'm not gonna try and explain exactly why it isn't fun but the story just wasn't an attention getter. If it was a fun scenario I'm sure more people might've at least raised a eyebrow. More relatable= less encumbersome to paint a vivid story. The easier it is for the reader to imagine an event taking place typically means a more passionate read from my standpoint.
tjlemke is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:34 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.