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Unread 10-02-2017   #37
clovis
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Re: New Story "Take It All In" by Clovis

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Originally Posted by spenguin View Post
Hey Clovis!

I wouldn't sweat criticism of your characters in PWAFD. I think they're fantastic. They're part of the reason I kept coming back to them. Sure they were archetypes, but as a casual reader, that's kind of what I'm looking for. I've read it plenty of times over the years - and I hope this isn't insulting - I can't recall the characters' names. But I do remember the small girl who hopes to be larger. The gifted feminist who doesn't practice what she preaches (and the fun dynamic between her and the smaller girl). The reveal of the busty girl who is haunted by it - and then gains further. The double twist at the end. And the way you described the sense of .. destiny? Completeness? Absolute-ness? I don't know the word. I'm sure you do. But the end where the 'winner' looks upon her bounty is beautifully described.

Thoughts on this story:

I'm glad you have the opportunity in this longform story to flesh out characters. Personally, I'm not a fan of the descriptions of Etna; not my kink, and I come to erotic fiction to - come. But I don't mind it, it sets a fun adversarialness that is enjoyable. I really like the role she plays in the story. She occupies the space in my mind that Anne Wilkes did in Misery.

My favorite bit of these kinds of stories is the.. I don't know how do describe it, but this quote-

Dawn looked down sheepishly as she admitted, ďRunning may not be my thing anymore.Ē

-kind of encompasses it. The impediment that comes with such a bounty is so much fun. The busty-girl-who-yearns-for-less-and-gets-more is my favorite bit of PWAFD.

As such, Holly is my favorite player in this story. Her character arc is so great. Her self-consciousness turned sort of Disney-eyed hopefulness that she'll be worthy in a new super-bombshell body is mesmerizing. Her gaining confidence and realizing her sexual power is such a delight.

Please write more. And thank you so much.
Thanks, I'd never gotten much feedback on "Playing With a Full Deck." I know some love it which is great, but there were comments on the characters being one dimensional along with some issues with the specific rules of the spell (something I should have clarified, as while you gain always gain more, you can't keep losing certain attributes.) I didn't think of those characters as one dimensional, but there is a bit of a short-hand that goes along with writing a short piece. The story has been out there for years, but I'm not sure if anyone new is discovering it (same for "Cup Above the Rest.")

I'm wondering if you've had any confusion about Dawn's size/shape as other's have mentioned?

Very happy you mentioned Anne Wilkes. While not my original inspiration, when I was writing Etna's attempted manipulations with Holly, she was the voice I was hearing in my head. I was never into weight gain, but found it a necessary aspect to this story. Mostly it served to counter-balance Dawn's experience, but as things have progressed I've found Etna quite a joy to write. She and Dawn are both driven to grow, but in such different ways. As I've said earlier, the whole intermission segment was to keep a sense of balance in the story, and counteract any preconceived outcomes.

I think even in a long story, it is the little details or observations that make it work. Even as things get progressively more ridiculous I love finding the little touches that make it seem believable and am happy that you are responding to them.

Glad you're enjoying Holly's progression. I had a plan for her, but I can say it's turned out better than expected and something that I could only do in this longer format. While the focus isn't on Holly, Amber, or Lydia, they all have parts to play, and their actions and reactions help convey parts of Dawn that couldn't be achieved otherwise.

Thanks for the encouragement. I've been busy lately so writing's been slow, but this certainly helps motivate me.
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Unread 02-05-2018   #38
clovis
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Re: New Story "Take It All In" by Clovis

To anyone checking in on this I figured I should drop in with an update before you give up hope on this story.

In short, I am working on it, but I now have far-far less time to do so. The story wasn't exactly born out of good fortune, but it helped as a silly and time-consuming distraction when I needed one. Though I can't say when it will be done, I do have every intention of finishing.

I am sorry it's been so long, and I do really appreciate everyone who has given this tale their time. Any motivation and encouragement you can offer would be greatly appreciated. And if anyone has only recently stumbled upon this story, I'd love to know what you think so far.

Thanks again, and stay tuned...
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Unread 07-30-2018   #39
clovis
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Re: New Story "Take It All In" by Clovis

In honor of another size-con come and gone, I wanted to put out at least a little something to show that the story is still ongoing.


Chapter 9

A meteor shower is a rare and wondrous phenomenon. If fortunate enough to ever come across such a spectacle, one would be hard pressed to ignore it. But as a dazzling array of flittering projectiles soared through the air above, Etna tried to do just that.

Though sizes and shapes varied and their trajectories were haphazard at best, somehow each and every spiraling bit found itself drawn inevitably down to the fetching little planetoid below. And like that stellar body so eager to greet their arrival, these all started out small- the meekest of morsels passed over for not seeming worth the bother. But there is a reward for those who see value in the seemingly inconsequential. For as their numbers grew and grew and they amassed en masse within their new host, it was she who began to amount to something more. The process is called accretion, and stands proof positive that there is no such thing as an insignificant speck for it has given us all the great bodies of the universe- from the moons and planets, to the most massive stars and grand sprawling galaxies.

Feeding Dawn directly had become too much of a bother, so those challenged with the task decided it would be easier to just throw whatever bite-sized items they could find her way. Seated side-by-side atop the great dining table like a pair of fans up in the bleachers, Lydia and Amber tossed an endless barrage of crispy baked tidbits from the platters filling their laps. While at first they’d taken their time- politely alternating in turn once certain each throw was caught- those gentle lobs soon became fast pitches, and eventually they were throwing out their fare as quickly as they could grab it. And yet, no matter how fast or frenzied, not a single delectable item ever made its way to the floor. Under arm, over arm, and poorly aimed foul, Dawn intercepted their unyielding barrage of tater tots, assorted nuggets, and various kinds of popper without fail.

Known to be embarrassingly devoid of any hand-eye coordination in the past, Dawn proved surprisingly deft with her mouth. By bobbing and careening her rounded robustness about, the inflated ingenue exhibited a puppy’s natural knack for catching airborne treats. Wasting no time chewing, Gulp! Gulp! Gulp! Dawn sent each down quick as she could to make room for the next. And like any excitable pup, Dawn’s little hands were set to flapping wildly- both as an expression of joy, and to beg her benefactors to keep this whirlwind of constant consumption continuing- more, more, MORE!

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Unread 08-04-2018   #40
spenguin
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Re: New Story "Take It All In" by Clovis

Clovis, youíre a champion. Youíve always been among my favorite artists in this sphere (heh). Iíve checked this thread every couple of weeks hoping thereís been another addition (h-).

Itís great to get the chance to interact with you, it feels like Iím messaging a celebrity. Iím flattered that you even read these messages.

Please, continue.
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Unread 08-04-2018   #41
clovis
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Re: New Story "Take It All In" by Clovis

Quote:
Originally Posted by spenguin View Post
Clovis, youíre a champion. Youíve always been among my favorite artists in this sphere (heh). Iíve checked this thread every couple of weeks hoping thereís been another addition (h-).

Itís great to get the chance to interact with you, it feels like Iím messaging a celebrity. Iím flattered that you even read these messages.

Please, continue.
Of course I read every response. Writing is solitary work and feedback good or bad lets me know I'm not just writing for myself. I am humbled and flattered by your support.

A question I'll put out for anyone following this story- would you rather wait for a full chapter, or would you prefer it released in smaller chunks (basically where you've seen ellipses breaks in the previous chapters.)
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Unread 08-07-2018   #42
spenguin
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Re: New Story "Take It All In" by Clovis

From my perspective, you’re a storyteller.

If you prefer to break that into moments, I support that, anticipate that, and enjoy that. If inspiritation strikes you to create something greater like these chapters, I very much appreciate it, along with the clauses from the previous sentence.

I think you should do what envigorates you most.

Last edited by spenguin; 08-07-2018 at 11:30 PM.
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Unread 08-16-2018   #43
calibretto
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Re: New Story "Take It All In" by Clovis

Quote:
Originally Posted by spenguin View Post
From my perspective, youíre a storyteller.

If you prefer to break that into moments, I support that, anticipate that, and enjoy that. If inspiritation strikes you to create something greater like these chapters, I very much appreciate it, along with the clauses from the previous sentence.

I think you should do what envigorates you most.
I agree. I just enjoy your content, regardless of how it is released.
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