Science Goes Wrong (dicknipples)

[poppert56]

Here's a story that I'm on the fence about. On one hand, this took me months to write on and off, and is certainly the longest, not to mention most ambitious piece of writing I have worked on, in terms of erotic fiction. It's also the first request I've done, on a topic I know is not exactly that inclusive.

On the other hand, I know there are multiple problems with it, though I'm not sure exactly what I need to work on, nor if this can be considered "good" or not.

If you read it, can you give me pointers for any future writing? I'll gladly accept any feedback because I want to improve. Will future writings be as ambitious (or weird) as this? Maybe, I have a lot of weird ideas rolling around, but I want to know what I can take away from this project.