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Unread 12-18-2007   #13
dreams
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nice work, I like it
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Unread 12-18-2007   #14
lampy
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I never liked the Artists art, but this is one of the best processes for this forum of the year. After half-way art is rushed.

Last edited by lampy; 12-18-2007 at 06:24 PM.
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Unread 12-18-2007   #15
Vengeance1701
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So....is that a compliment or an insult? Not quite clear, lampy.
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Unread 12-19-2007   #16
lampy
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Compliment mostly, but criticism, nonetheless. I'm not sure were you see it as an insult. Critique and opinion are far away from insults as you can get.

Last edited by lampy; 12-19-2007 at 08:45 AM.
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Unread 12-19-2007   #17
Mysticguy
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Generally, critique offers insight as to how the art could be done better.
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Unread 12-19-2007   #18
Mitchell
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Very_Good_Karma View Post
I like this! The art is okay, and carries the story, but this is the first original transformation plot I've seen in years. Other pluses:

- The characterizing bit at the beginning really helped the story hold together, and was even a little funny.

- Lots of process, duh. The whole point of coming here.

- While characters narrating their own transformation can get really awkward, the blow-by-blow here is handled well and adds to rather than subtracts from the comic.

- The big third panel on page 10 sets up the last act of the story very well and gives a nice sense of the passage of time.

- A character who intentionally seeks out a transformation rather than just being a prop.

- Happy Ending! Woo!


Some things you might want to improve on:

- The faces. In some panels, they have been drawn waaay too hastily. I understand that this is a loose drawing style, but there is a level of distortion which just looks bad. The first panels of pages 10 and 12 are major offenders.

- Eye style. The characters' pupils come and go; it seems to be attempting to convey a wink sometimes, but other times it's not clear what it means. The all-white eyes came off as a little creepy in some panels. I'd recommend working on a wider range of expressions, especially a proper wink, and making pupils consistent unless it's associated with a complete character style-shift such as chibi.

I really enjoyed seeing this, and thank you for posting it on The Process!
Just bumping this...It's a well-done critique. I like the sequence, but it seems a lot of people dislike the eyes. And not so much in this one, but definitely with Sam...Something seems off when Aakashi draws guys besides Wraith. They look too cute.
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Unread 12-19-2007   #19
Vengeance1701
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Yeah, Karma did a great job. If only more people decided that when they didn't like something that they would couch it in constructive terms, we'd all be better off here.
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