Fetish

[Northwind]

How much does your TF fetish affect your everyday life?

Do you have fantasies about your gf/wife/significant other? Or someone you're attracted to?

Do you hide it from them?

[ivan11422]

Nice pic

[maoric]

One of Huginn's old pics, if I'm not mistaken.

[K-Libra]

It affects my life every day somehow. People know... and it's not a fetish. It's a paraphilia.~

[LaStrade]

I've only ever told 2 different girlfriends. They both found it hot. One REALLY got into it and continues to seek out tf material independent of my influence. Maybe I'm lucky. /shrug

[thatnightwolf]

I would say that it affects my everyday life in the sense that if I come across TF content, I get aroused to the point that I'm completely distracted until I go and deal with it. Sometimes that can be annoying if I get triggered by something in the mainstream that I wasn't prepared for. (I could share many an awkward story.)

As for my personal relationships, I've kept my interests pretty much secret from everyone in my life. My family I think suspects something, but they can't pinpoint exactly where my particular interests lie. Being that it's not exactly a commonplace fetish, it makes it harder for people to quickly connect the dots like that, even though to us it would seem so obvious. As I've gotten older, I've been able to talk about transformation related topics with friends more, without ever revealing my true feelings about it. Most of my friends think I'm just super into werewolves and movies like Willow or The Witches. It makes it kind of easier in a way that I work in the filmmaking and FX industry, which allows me to get away with appreciating movies with transformation FX a little more that a casual movie fan. When I was younger, I would totally try to avoid any talk of werewolves and the like around friends for fear of them seeing how obvious it was on my face that my interest in that stuff went beyond being frightened of monsters movies.

The biggest step I've made in my life is that I've told my current girlfriend about it, which was a very scary decision to make. We have been dating for a few years, and one day I just kind of let it out during a conversation about honesty. It was ultimately a good decision because she has been very supportive of it. I know that she doesn't really understand it or get off on it herself, but she enjoys that I really get off on it, so she indulges me. At first it started as TF roleplays via text until she got comfortable, then that turned into phone sex mixed with a TF, then that progressed to me looking at TF videos and art in front of her, and now we're at a place where she and I act out TFs during sex. My ultimate fantasy involves her done up in some make-up FX, which is an idea she hasn't really been opposed to. It's been a really fulfilling relationship so far and it feels great knowing that this giant burden has been lifted.

Oh, and if I need to indulge my fetish and my gf is a little too busy or stressed with work, I have the go ahead to call phone sex operators and have them act out TF scenarios with me over the phone. Some are really great at it, but it's not as good as it is with her. She also doesn't feel threatened by that and even listens in on occasion.

[LeenaAngelWing]

I'm actually totally open about my TFyness. In fact, my girlfriend is into it, and I work from home so... yeah my life is pretty tfy, and my sex life is even more TFy.

My advice? Be yourself. No really. I met my girlfriend pretty normally and when we got to the "what are you into" sex talk, I just sorta told her, and she liked it.

If you don't act like there's something wrong with it, people won't respond like there is something wrong with it.

[Obsidian]

It's no secret to my wife, as I clued her in on my *interests* a couple of years before we got married. It was a very difficult revelation to make, but she was surprisingly supportive of it. There was also, for me, the relief of no longer having to hide my true self from my true love. These days, we're both comfortable with the fetish to the point that it infects our sex life on a regular basis. Though she doesn't get off to it herself, she enjoys roleplaying various TF's for my benefit. I'm a lucky man, that much is clear.

No one else in my family is aware of my fetish, however. And they probably never will. My family just isn't that much on sharing, and in this case, that's more than fine with me.

As for everyday life, the fetish is always present to some degree. If I'm not checking this forum or FurAffinity for updates/content, I'm typically dreaming up story concepts, writing outlines for future installments of the Desolate Jedi series, coloring lineart work I've commissioned from Arania, ect. In short, some part of my day is always set aside for TF and process content. It's just who I am; it's a part of me.

So, yeah.

[jimi20]

My wife loves it and actively encourages TF roleplaying in the bedroom

[dorintf]

Wow, kind of sad to see so many people have had the opposite (meaning, positive) reactions to revealing interest in TF than I have.

So, I met, "the one" a few years ago. Virtually everything in common, very sweet, exact body type that I like. While on a road trip I decided that I was going to lay everything on the line and told her everything I thought I might be holding back from her, including TF. She is the only person I've ever told. I'm pretty much mortified of other people finding out about it, and it took a long time for me to work up the courage to tell her.

Her reaction was "That's it? I thought it was going to be something way bigger than that." She told me that it wasn't anything to be ashamed of, and became pretty enamored with the idea of coming up with role-playing scenarios in the bedroom. I couldn't believe it. I remember thinking, "Don't let this one go. Ever."

It wasn't too much after this that her opinion completely changed. She stopped talking to me about it at all, even though I was extremely anxious to talk about it after finally opening up to someone about it. I kept pressing her that she investigate it herself and we talk about any questions she might have. One night after having asked her to look at Reddit's transformation subreddit, we sat down after I got off work and started talking about it.

Things couldn't have gone worse. She suffers from extreme self-image and abandonment issues, and got the idea that it was something I loved more than her. She started crying and becoming verbally confrontational, at which point I realized that I had saw her drinking several glasses of wine--and not wine glasses, but regular drinking glasses. Several shout-filled minutes later, I went to bed extremely sad. I attempted to talk to her about it later, but she never wanted to and I eventually told her that I was sorry I told her about it in the first place, feeling it would have been better to keep it secret than cause pain in the relationship, to her but more especially to me, as I felt really hurt that the one thing that I really identify as the key proponent of my sexuality was not something I would ever be able to talk about with her.

We're still together, planning on getting married, and both live under the same roof. I think every single day that it's something that I'll always be unfulfilled about. We have problems in our sex lives that I think completely stem from the fact that it's such a big part of my sexual identity and it's completely off-topic for the rest of my life.

So, yeah. Don't want to scare others off from sharing TF with your significant other, but I feel like that fear I have always had of telling anyone about TF (and know that it's a fear that lots of other TF community members have) went ... well, far worse than what I envisioned as the worst-case scenario.

So ... yeah. Fuck.

[Wbfoot]

If she loves you then she will help you with your wish fulfillment.

[Cursebearer]

Originally Posted by dorintf

Wow, kind of sad to see so many people have had the opposite (meaning, positive) reactions to revealing interest in TF than I have.

So, I met, "the one" a few years ago. Virtually everything in common, very sweet, exact body type that I like. While on a road trip I decided that I was going to lay everything on the line and told her everything I thought I might be holding back from her, including TF. She is the only person I've ever told. I'm pretty much mortified of other people finding out about it, and it took a long time for me to work up the courage to tell her.

Her reaction was "That's it? I thought it was going to be something way bigger than that." She told me that it wasn't anything to be ashamed of, and became pretty enamored with the idea of coming up with role-playing scenarios in the bedroom. I couldn't believe it. I remember thinking, "Don't let this one go. Ever."

It wasn't too much after this that her opinion completely changed. She stopped talking to me about it at all, even though I was extremely anxious to talk about it after finally opening up to someone about it. I kept pressing her that she investigate it herself and we talk about any questions she might have. One night after having asked her to look at Reddit's transformation subreddit, we sat down after I got off work and started talking about it.

Things couldn't have gone worse. She suffers from extreme self-image and abandonment issues, and got the idea that it was something I loved more than her. She started crying and becoming verbally confrontational, at which point I realized that I had saw her drinking several glasses of wine--and not wine glasses, but regular drinking glasses. Several shout-filled minutes later, I went to bed extremely sad. I attempted to talk to her about it later, but she never wanted to and I eventually told her that I was sorry I told her about it in the first place, feeling it would have been better to keep it secret than cause pain in the relationship, to her but more especially to me, as I felt really hurt that the one thing that I really identify as the key proponent of my sexuality was not something I would ever be able to talk about with her.

We're still together, planning on getting married, and both live under the same roof. I think every single day that it's something that I'll always be unfulfilled about. We have problems in our sex lives that I think completely stem from the fact that it's such a big part of my sexual identity and it's completely off-topic for the rest of my life.

So, yeah. Don't want to scare others off from sharing TF with your significant other, but I feel like that fear I have always had of telling anyone about TF (and know that it's a fear that lots of other TF community members have) went ... well, far worse than what I envisioned as the worst-case scenario.

So ... yeah. Fuck.

I'm sorry to hear about this. It sounds like she's who you want in every way except for this. I think it's important that you not bottle up your feelings about your fetish even if it makes her uncomfortable. The way you describe it, you seem to love her, and the way that this is making you feel sounds like a significant problem and a continuing gulf between you. I understand that you've made many attempts to speak with her already, but even still you should do all you can to keep that line of conversation open. I understand what a significant part of you a TF fetish can be.

I actually revealed my fetish to my girlfriend as well. She's always happy to play to it, but it has caused strife between us on occasion. A lot of it stems from my own rejection and self-loathing as a result of my fetishist. It's sadistic and I have yet to fully come to terms with it without shame. This can cause friction between us, and it's a struggle even now to be completely open.

There are some issues still. Mostly mine. But overall, I'm a much happier pervert for confiding in her. You all have enjoyed some of the fruits of that as well if you enjoy my fiction. A great deal of it is written by her.