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Unread 10-02-2017   #37
clovis
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Re: New Story "Take It All In" by Clovis

Quote:
Originally Posted by spenguin View Post
Hey Clovis!

I wouldn't sweat criticism of your characters in PWAFD. I think they're fantastic. They're part of the reason I kept coming back to them. Sure they were archetypes, but as a casual reader, that's kind of what I'm looking for. I've read it plenty of times over the years - and I hope this isn't insulting - I can't recall the characters' names. But I do remember the small girl who hopes to be larger. The gifted feminist who doesn't practice what she preaches (and the fun dynamic between her and the smaller girl). The reveal of the busty girl who is haunted by it - and then gains further. The double twist at the end. And the way you described the sense of .. destiny? Completeness? Absolute-ness? I don't know the word. I'm sure you do. But the end where the 'winner' looks upon her bounty is beautifully described.

Thoughts on this story:

I'm glad you have the opportunity in this longform story to flesh out characters. Personally, I'm not a fan of the descriptions of Etna; not my kink, and I come to erotic fiction to - come. But I don't mind it, it sets a fun adversarialness that is enjoyable. I really like the role she plays in the story. She occupies the space in my mind that Anne Wilkes did in Misery.

My favorite bit of these kinds of stories is the.. I don't know how do describe it, but this quote-

Dawn looked down sheepishly as she admitted, ďRunning may not be my thing anymore.Ē

-kind of encompasses it. The impediment that comes with such a bounty is so much fun. The busty-girl-who-yearns-for-less-and-gets-more is my favorite bit of PWAFD.

As such, Holly is my favorite player in this story. Her character arc is so great. Her self-consciousness turned sort of Disney-eyed hopefulness that she'll be worthy in a new super-bombshell body is mesmerizing. Her gaining confidence and realizing her sexual power is such a delight.

Please write more. And thank you so much.
Thanks, I'd never gotten much feedback on "Playing With a Full Deck." I know some love it which is great, but there were comments on the characters being one dimensional along with some issues with the specific rules of the spell (something I should have clarified, as while you gain always gain more, you can't keep losing certain attributes.) I didn't think of those characters as one dimensional, but there is a bit of a short-hand that goes along with writing a short piece. The story has been out there for years, but I'm not sure if anyone new is discovering it (same for "Cup Above the Rest.")

I'm wondering if you've had any confusion about Dawn's size/shape as other's have mentioned?

Very happy you mentioned Anne Wilkes. While not my original inspiration, when I was writing Etna's attempted manipulations with Holly, she was the voice I was hearing in my head. I was never into weight gain, but found it a necessary aspect to this story. Mostly it served to counter-balance Dawn's experience, but as things have progressed I've found Etna quite a joy to write. She and Dawn are both driven to grow, but in such different ways. As I've said earlier, the whole intermission segment was to keep a sense of balance in the story, and counteract any preconceived outcomes.

I think even in a long story, it is the little details or observations that make it work. Even as things get progressively more ridiculous I love finding the little touches that make it seem believable and am happy that you are responding to them.

Glad you're enjoying Holly's progression. I had a plan for her, but I can say it's turned out better than expected and something that I could only do in this longer format. While the focus isn't on Holly, Amber, or Lydia, they all have parts to play, and their actions and reactions help convey parts of Dawn that couldn't be achieved otherwise.

Thanks for the encouragement. I've been busy lately so writing's been slow, but this certainly helps motivate me.
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Unread 02-05-2018   #38
clovis
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Re: New Story "Take It All In" by Clovis

To anyone checking in on this I figured I should drop in with an update before you give up hope on this story.

In short, I am working on it, but I now have far-far less time to do so. The story wasn't exactly born out of good fortune, but it helped as a silly and time-consuming distraction when I needed one. Though I can't say when it will be done, I do have every intention of finishing.

I am sorry it's been so long, and I do really appreciate everyone who has given this tale their time. Any motivation and encouragement you can offer would be greatly appreciated. And if anyone has only recently stumbled upon this story, I'd love to know what you think so far.

Thanks again, and stay tuned...
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Unread 07-30-2018   #39
clovis
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Re: New Story "Take It All In" by Clovis

In honor of another size-con come and gone, I wanted to put out at least a little something to show that the story is still ongoing.


Chapter 9

A meteor shower is a rare and wondrous phenomenon. If fortunate enough to ever come across such a spectacle, one would be hard pressed to ignore it. But as a dazzling array of flittering projectiles soared through the air above, Etna tried to do just that.

Though sizes and shapes varied and their trajectories were haphazard at best, somehow each and every spiraling bit found itself drawn inevitably down to the fetching little planetoid below. And like that stellar body so eager to greet their arrival, these all started out small- the meekest of morsels passed over for not seeming worth the bother. But there is a reward for those who see value in the seemingly inconsequential. For as their numbers grew and grew and they amassed en masse within their new host, it was she who began to amount to something more. The process is called accretion, and stands proof positive that there is no such thing as an insignificant speck for it has given us all the great bodies of the universe- from the moons and planets, to the most massive stars and grand sprawling galaxies.

Feeding Dawn directly had become too much of a bother, so those challenged with the task decided it would be easier to just throw whatever bite-sized items they could find her way. Seated side-by-side atop the great dining table like a pair of fans up in the bleachers, Lydia and Amber tossed an endless barrage of crispy baked tidbits from the platters filling their laps. While at first they’d taken their time- politely alternating in turn once certain each throw was caught- those gentle lobs soon became fast pitches, and eventually they were throwing out their fare as quickly as they could grab it. And yet, no matter how fast or frenzied, not a single delectable item ever made its way to the floor. Under arm, over arm, and poorly aimed foul, Dawn intercepted their unyielding barrage of tater tots, assorted nuggets, and various kinds of popper without fail.

Known to be embarrassingly devoid of any hand-eye coordination in the past, Dawn proved surprisingly deft with her mouth. By bobbing and careening her rounded robustness about, the inflated ingenue exhibited a puppy’s natural knack for catching airborne treats. Wasting no time chewing, Gulp! Gulp! Gulp! Dawn sent each down quick as she could to make room for the next. And like any excitable pup, Dawn’s little hands were set to flapping wildly- both as an expression of joy, and to beg her benefactors to keep this whirlwind feeding continuing- more, more, MORE!


Last edited by clovis; 11-03-2018 at 06:28 AM.
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Unread 08-04-2018   #40
spenguin
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Re: New Story "Take It All In" by Clovis

Clovis, youíre a champion. Youíve always been among my favorite artists in this sphere (heh). Iíve checked this thread every couple of weeks hoping thereís been another addition (h-).

Itís great to get the chance to interact with you, it feels like Iím messaging a celebrity. Iím flattered that you even read these messages.

Please, continue.
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Unread 08-04-2018   #41
clovis
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Re: New Story "Take It All In" by Clovis

Quote:
Originally Posted by spenguin View Post
Clovis, youíre a champion. Youíve always been among my favorite artists in this sphere (heh). Iíve checked this thread every couple of weeks hoping thereís been another addition (h-).

Itís great to get the chance to interact with you, it feels like Iím messaging a celebrity. Iím flattered that you even read these messages.

Please, continue.
Of course I read every response. Writing is solitary work and feedback good or bad lets me know I'm not just writing for myself. I am humbled and flattered by your support.

A question I'll put out for anyone following this story- would you rather wait for a full chapter, or would you prefer it released in smaller chunks (basically where you've seen ellipses breaks in the previous chapters.)
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Unread 08-07-2018   #42
spenguin
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Re: New Story "Take It All In" by Clovis

From my perspective, you’re a storyteller.

If you prefer to break that into moments, I support that, anticipate that, and enjoy that. If inspiritation strikes you to create something greater like these chapters, I very much appreciate it, along with the clauses from the previous sentence.

I think you should do what envigorates you most.

Last edited by spenguin; 08-07-2018 at 11:30 PM.
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Unread 08-16-2018   #43
calibretto
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Re: New Story "Take It All In" by Clovis

Quote:
Originally Posted by spenguin View Post
From my perspective, youíre a storyteller.

If you prefer to break that into moments, I support that, anticipate that, and enjoy that. If inspiritation strikes you to create something greater like these chapters, I very much appreciate it, along with the clauses from the previous sentence.

I think you should do what envigorates you most.
I agree. I just enjoy your content, regardless of how it is released.
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Unread 11-07-2018   #44
clovis
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Re: New Story "Take It All In" by Clovis

It's been too long, so here's the next bit:


Chapter 9.2

It was daft. That was the word, the only word Etna could come up with to describe the scene playing out before her. While it had been her every intention that the night venture into the absurd, things had progressed beyond even Etna’s most wildly unreasonable expectations.

It was like watching a girl run open-mouthed into a hailstorm- a girl who already looked like she’d swallowed an entire meteorological event. Dawn’s dizzying ability to careen her absurd body about to waylay all flying foodstuffs was certainly impressive, but seemed like far too much work to her opponent. Looking on in disbelief, Etna consoled herself with the fact that these ingestible squalls were comprised of only the barest of trifles- little amuse-bouche- for that was all could fit in Dawn’s tiny mouth. Mere drops in a bucket compared to the far more substantial main courses Etna now exclusively dined upon. But those droplets were beginning to add up. Even with her state of constant motion, Etna could tell Dawn’s bucket was not only getting bigger, but saw little indication that this daft monsoon of mastication would be letting up anytime soon.

For a woman unaccustomed to qualms, Dawn gave Etna plenty. That sense of unease grew and grew right along with Dawn until it festered to a point where Etna could watch no more. Turning away from the frivolity, Etna thought it best to put her attention back where it belonged- on herself and her own feeding. That renewed focus however, had the unfortunate effect of making clear other, even more unsettling things.

“Ermph!” Etna let out a choked complaint as she was overcome by an odd sensation. It was as if she’d suddenly been teleported to another world- a far less hospitable one with precious little oxygen and far greater gravity.

What was happening? Feeling as though a great suffocating weight was being set upon her, Etna looked desperately about for a culprit. Dawn was the only thing in the room so heavy and while her little hands were free, she was otherwise fully occupied as were her cohorts. Etna was thankful none of them noticed her fretful state which continued to rise as mysterious forces mounted further against her and she felt herself being buried beneath what could only be a ton of bricks.

That’s when it hit her…

A ton.

Surely now, a ton.

She’d done it.

“Hurgh,” Etna creaked. She’d done quite a bit more in fact. But this didn’t feel like victory. What Etna had accomplished that night was astounding, but in doing so, she’d imposed upon herself a burden the likes of which no human had ever experienced- and she was experiencing every bit of it now.

For as ballyhooed as it was, the contest between Etna and Dawn was simply a battle of ego against ambition. Concurrent to that belt-busting spectacle, another more grueling and intense war was being waged and that was between Etna and her own body. It was a fight Etna feared she was now losing on both fronts.

That ton-and-then-some was wearing down on Etna like a chain of anchors lashed around her fat neck. The sheer weight of herself had Etna buckling and gasping.

It was too much.

She was too much.

Etna tried to summon back the unflinching determination and unwavering faith that always served her so well, but looking within she found nothing but pressure- a painful, unbearable strain upon her bulging frame that continued to build and compound, making Etna aware of every newly packed-on pound with an acute and frightful clarity. Resorting instead to that deep well of anger and rage she’d always held, Etna found that too had been pushed out. “Ooogh!” Etna winced- her vast innards had become a maelstrom, a nauseatic swirl that bubbled and churned like a cauldron about to boil over. Struggling to hold it all back, her over-taxed skin creaked like a dam about to give way.

No more.

Not another bite.

Surely this was it, her absolute limit. Without even knowing what she’d currently been chewing away at, Etna stopped herself from swallowing and halted her hands before they could deliver any further loads to join it.

Why the sudden change? Her situation had long been precarious, but Etna couldn’t understand how it had increased to such an extent without her noticing. How could she have let herself get to so dire a point, and more importantly, how could she possibly keep going?

These questions left Etna stalled and stricken, but somehow all those amassing woes were at once allayed when her eye caught sight of a particular shooting star passing high overhead.

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Unread 3 Weeks Ago   #45
clovis
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Re: New Story "Take It All In" by Clovis

Gobble, gobble. Happy Thanksgiving. Here's another small serving:


Chapter 9.3

Despite the pain, the pressure, and all the ill portends, one and only one thought filled Etna’s head at that moment- and it wasn’t even about her:

She can’t possibly…

To describe Lydia’s level of athletic ability as middling would have been beyond generous. While such lack of talent in that regard befit her gothic exterior, Lydia did her damndest to aim for her sister’s mouth regardless. Whenever Holly thought Etna wasn’t looking (in-between bites of her own) she joined in the fun utilizing her far superior varsity arm to hurl hushpuppies from the far end of the room with remarkable precision. As for Amber… it may have been a bad throw from a tired arm or a purposefully bad pitch meant to test her roommate’s prowess, but what proved enough to pull Etna from her dilemma was the sight of that limp-wristed hippy lobbing a tater-tot so high and far overhead that it nearly grazed the lofty ceiling.

There’s just no way…

Calculating the arc as Amber’s shooting star became a falling one, Etna figured its landing to be well out of range for fat little Dawn to ever catch. As with so many things that night, Dawn refused to abide to the limits of even math or physics, and made no such assumptions.

Before Amber’s misfire could be dealt with, Dawn had a more urgent pair of incoming snacks to snatch up first. Holly’s came in hard and fast and went down easy. Lydia’s required a quick pitch and yaw, but was gobbled up regardless. With a blurry expedience, Dawn then executed two full sideward rolls from which the many surrounding serving carts offered no impediment whatsoever- their mettle no match for Dawn’s as they were walloped away with ease. Once in alignment with her target, Dawn swiftly got her roundness back upright, then just as swiftly fell fully backward- her little feet thrust into the air perpendicular to her hands as…

Gulp!

Wasting no time, Dawn immediately chased after the next tasty target. And the next.

It certainly was a lot of work for a single bite, but Etna now found herself grateful to witness such historic effort. Size and skill simply weren’t meant to go so well together. It was both expected and appropriate that Etna’s immense mass would afford her all the grace and agility of an anvil. But despite demonstrations of her own considerable load, Dawn flittered and skittered her bobble-shaped body about like an ornament fallen off a Christmas tree. To see such a cumbersome form so artfully maneuver itself made Etna’s heart leap. Lost in the moment, she wanted to clap, but caught herself just short of doing so. Not that Dawn needed Etna’s applause, the whole house was set to clattering over her weighty achievements.

During that reflective pause Etna realized it was pride and only her pride that kept her from clapping just then. The importance of that distinction became clear as she gazed down in surprise.

Her hands were free.

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