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Unread 01-08-2015   #1
Phoenix the II
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Transcendence (Growth Spurts, BE, Gentle) Update: 14jan

Transcendence No, not the movie! But some influences might come from it.

Will contain: Small Growth Spurts, Breast Expansion, Hourglass Expansion, Catgirls (The human type), Science, Self Control, Amazon to Mega Giantess ranged, Very Gentle, Utopia, Omnipotentcy and not to forget growth process desciption!

Warning, I'm not natively english. But I'll try to do my best! :3. The science in here is obviously one of fantasy. I'll try to explain it the best I can. But don't hold me on it. It's a friggin fap story, your mind should be thinking of different stuff.

Yes, the story itself is a total different world came to be compared to ours. You could get philosophical about it, but then again, don't hold me on it. Just read it, try to envision yourself in it (without much thinking?). It's a friggin fap story, your mind should be thinking of different stuff. . Plus that this new foundation gives incentive towards a gentle nature of giantess(es).

And last of all, I try to write decent sized chapters. But it takes a long time for me to get anything out with size.

Read on my dear reader, and let me know what you think.

Prologue

Let's start off with some history first, okay?

A long long time ago… Argh. No not that cliche!. Let's try another..
Meanwhile in a parallel universe, much similar to our own. 1970's. The earth got struck by some unexplainable weird radiation. Well, unexplainable? No, it's just that the radiation hit us pretty bad. Life wasn't the same anymore after it. And we've been focussing on surviving more instead than turning to what caused it.

Let me tell you about it. Nearly every form of electrical device instantly got fried when it happened. Needing to be repaired first in order for them to work. Not a small task to get everything going again. But unfortunately not only machines got affected by 'The Surge'.

Yes, few days after people because began to have symptoms of radiation sickness. Which in turn led to a lot of us dying. In just a few short weeks 95% of the world's population had died. Not only us, but plant life and animal life suffered as well. It was chaos the early days as you can imagine.

We had to rebuild most of our infrastructure again. After a few weeks of chaos and anarchy it became clear to us that this way of life was just not sustainable. Nor were the old ways. Our big cities became ghost towns as people left them. In order to find a suitable place to sustain a normal life again.

We discovered that there weren't many people left over that knew how to farm. Most of the agricultural stuff was done by machines. But it would take a while before any of these would be running again. Our food supplies were running low and people just banded together in order to survive.

A few years after The Surge, most of us became farmers again, just to be able to survive. And by sticking together and helping each other. We found our capability to share and care again. Looking back into how we were before The Surge we felt stupid and egocentric. Reinforced by social system that fueled these. We had wasted so many resources unknown to us before.

Never again. We abandoned any form of money in order for to get rid of superiority over others. We had to work together in order to survive we were all equal in regards to that. So in order to survive you either participated in the local communities or be exiled to the wastelands of the cities.

But The Surge not only left us with the need to rebuild our world, our way of thinking and doing. There was another side effect that became apparent with a few child births. It's rare though, something among the lines of 1 out of 10000 female births.

The girls appeared to have a cat's tail coming from just where their tailbone would normally end. And where you would normally expect your ears to be there was nothing. No, instead on top of their heads were 2 pointy fluffy cat ears. Oh yea, like cats the eyes with vertical slits gave them superb nightly vision.

Sure the first few births put up some weird faces. But who were we to deny a healthy looking creature living rights? No one! With the thin population on the planet we certainly could use all the help needed.
Little did we know about these little catgirls back then. But sure as the years progressed we got to know more about them.

Nowadays, almost 40 years after The Surge, catgirls are perfectly accepted into our community as equals. Staying a bit smaller on average than regular females on height. Just averaging about 5' in height. They made up with that on being agile and having very fast reflexes. Not only that, but it was nearly impossible to tell their age by the looks on them. 40 years old still looked like there were just 18 years old.
Their personalities were quite different too. It turned out that when a catgirl falls in love with someone there would be a miracle needed for them to ever lose affection. They were your perfect lover.
And yes, there have been already catgirls with their own children already. Bearing normal human children with a heightened chance of getting a catgirl on their own as well.

Chapter 1

Coming Soon™

Last edited by Phoenix the II; 01-14-2015 at 07:34 AM.
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Unread 01-09-2015   #2
Kitran
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Re: Transcendence (Growth Spurts, BE, Hourglass, Gentle, Omni)

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Not a bad start!! I'm looking forward to seeing more. Keep it up!
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Unread 01-09-2015   #3
whoknows
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Re: Transcendence (Growth Spurts, BE, Hourglass, Gentle, Omni)

Same here!
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Unread 01-14-2015   #4
Phoenix the II
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Re: Transcendence (Growth Spurts, BE, Hourglass, Gentle, Omni)

Chapter 1, A new day in 2015. Good Morning!

Today, it's been exactly 45 years ago since The Surge happened. And 45 years of focusing on technology has made a real difference. We've come so far we don't look back at a dreadful event that happened 45 years ago. Instead, it was more a wake up call that the way we were at was unsustainable.

We were glad it happened. It allowed us to reunite to work together towards a better life. Rather than making sure we could extract the most benefits over one other individual, we shared. Yes, we shared everything. Why wouldn't you? Sure there are personal belongings like photo's and all that kind of stuff that no one else could use. But things like cars didn't even have locks anymore. It's owned by everyone. You could literally step into in any car and go wherever you want.

Though, with everything becoming mostly shared meant that there is less diversity. But why would you care about that when everything that you would need is there available for you and everyone?

Everyone had the same amount of housing space accordingly to how many people lived in the house. Sure houses look different from one and another, differently arranged from inside and outside. But yet still the same space. And nowadays families live with every generation of the family in a house. Just because it's more efficient and allowed the grandparents to look after the children. And when old age set in, the grandchildren could look after them again.

Mega cities were a thing of the past. The population isn't all that increased since the fifth year after The Surge. It's been stable ever since. We lived in self sustaining villages of 5000 citizens. The mega cities are still out there. But if you would go there now you could see that nature was slowly taking the city wasteland back again.


© Wasteland 2 concept art.

No one ever goes there anymore. Well, that was. Unless you got exiled due to criminal actions. Our govern ourselves more by the main rule of treating each other the same as would like to be treated yourself. Do no harm to one another stood above on that list. But in this resource based society. Where all you need to live was generally available. You can imagine that crimes would almost be unheard of.

Now that you know the world we currently live in, let me tell you my story.

New London, one of the biggest village of nearly 25000 people. Located in what was formally England. The main big reason is why this village had gotten this big. Most of the research and development of world was centered here in big newly build universities.

Today after moving from New Birmingham and spending the first day in the new house. The sun was shining with all it's warmth on this summers day through the curtains of the room. Lightening the room up. A sign of a very nice day to come. Birds chirping just outside on the trees.

I felt a warm and soft hand touching my left cheek. Stroking it gently.

"Wake up, sweetie", A voice gently whispered.

Lying on my side facing the direction the voice came from. I opened my eyes. Slowly letting them getting adjusted from the light of the morning sun in the room. I was greeted by a beatiful smiling face of a catgirl. Drawn in by her sparkling emerald green colored eyes. Her cherry blossom pink colored bang running over her own cheek. Yes, it was her natural hair color. It's still a rare hair color mutation, but nowadays it's possible to find hair colored in almost any color. Pointy ears like a cat sitting on top of her head.

"Ah, good morning Esmeralda."

I picked up the petting hand from my cheek and held it in my hands. Smiling back at her.
Not a few moments later some movements behind me, feeling what felt like 2 breasts pressing against my back. I turned my head a bit trying to look back. Suddenly a head popped from under the bed's sheets and snagged a kiss from me. After a sweet kiss on the lips from her. Her eyes opened and smiled at me. Almost exactly looking like Esmeralda, except her eyes sparkled sapphire blue.

"Sapphira! I was first!" Esmeralda, her twin sister shouted. Feeling unfair that she was too slow.
"Teehee!" Sapphira playfully stuck a tongue out towards her sister.

Not waiting a second longer Esmeralda's hand pulled my head towards hers and gave me a kiss too.

Yes, I was one hell of a lucky guy. 18 years old and getting loved by 2 of the most beautiful catgirls I ever knew. Of course they were the best, they were my catgirlfriends. For nearly 2 years now we have been dating. And from today on, we now lived together.

"We need to get ready for our first day at the research center."
"Better not get late. I want to see which project they'll put us on!" The sisters joyfully said.

We had moved from our families home back in New Birmingham to here, New London. Getting selected to help at a research center was an honor. You had to get really good marks on science subjects like Physics, Chemistry and all that stuff. Travelling each day from New Birmingham to here would've been inefficient. So we got requested a move to here instead, getting a home for the 3 of us.

Jumping out of the bed I could see my cute girlfriends. They weren't that tall, smaller than your average catgirl. 4'7". Compared to my height of 5'10", I was tall for them. Often needing to bend over to even kiss them. It didn't bother me as much though. I was having the sweetest girls I could ever have. Not chubby and not skinny either. With firm round C cup breasts topped by a small pink cute nipple. A perfect heart shaped butt covered by white panties and a pink hair tail running over their buttcheeks running down if straightened down to their ankles. And just from where that tail sprouted out just above her buttocks. The bottom of their long straight cherry blossom colored pink hair ended.

"What you're staring at? Felix?" Sapphy asked me.
"I could never get tired of how beautiful you girls are." I replied, in which they blushed.
"Oh you, Mr. flatterer." Esmy smiled.

I knew a catgirls body wouldn't show signs of aging for at least 45 years to come. And by the sight of them what a joyful future it would be. It was part of the reason why my girlfriends got selected by the research facility here too. Being very smart and not aging people just had begun researching why this was so. Seeking answers in why their cellular division instead of having exact copies instead of degradation occurring. Having them around a research facility would benefit eventually us all.

For me personally, well. I got lucky in joining them on their new adventure. In the past where catgirls would get separated from their partner. Depression set in pretty quickly and the longer they spend apart the worse it would get. Often resulting in them quitting the opportunity and going back to their hometown to be back with their lover again. Inseparable a catgirl was once they fell in love. Therefor in order not to let that happen. I got lucky and my application got accepted too along with theirs. Sure I wasn't as smart as my girlfriends. But being helped by them I could get my head around the complicated stuff too in time.

And thus I got out of bed, getting myself washed in the shower by my girlfriends first. They loved washing me making sure I was neatly clean everywhere. It wasn't long before we were dressed up, had breakfast and closed the door of our new home behind us. Not even needing to lock our door. We jumped into one of the cars parked on the street...

Chapter 2, The first day at the research center.

Coming before Half-Life 3 gets announced.

Last edited by Phoenix the II; 01-14-2015 at 07:34 AM.
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Unread 01-14-2015   #5
Kitran
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Re: Transcendence (Growth Spurts, BE, Hourglass, Gentle, Omni)

Good chapter! I think it was a nice way to introduce the characters. I'm a bit curious about this research center myself and how a society that's been hit hard as it was managed to maintain the ability to fuel cars, let alone running water and power and still find the time to research.. not that I doubt that it's possible, but I wonder if you'd go into that kind of detail. However, I guess like you said, I shouldn't think too deeply in it. I guess that I like a good plot, regardless of what kind of story it is.

Still! Keep it up, I'm eager to see more.
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Unread 01-15-2015   #6
Phoenix the II
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Re: Transcendence (Growth Spurts, BE, Hourglass, Gentle, Omni)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kitran View Post
Good chapter! I think it was a nice way to introduce the characters. I'm a bit curious about this research center myself and how a society that's been hit hard as it was managed to maintain the ability to fuel cars, let alone running water and power and still find the time to research.. not that I doubt that it's possible, but I wonder if you'd go into that kind of detail. However, I guess like you said, I shouldn't think too deeply in it. I guess that I like a good plot, regardless of what kind of story it is.

Still! Keep it up, I'm eager to see more.
That's coming next chapter , Yes I will go into details as things are getting used whereas it's different compared to ours. And don't forget, with a generic focus on making things easy and efficient as possible science and technology has advanced further than ours.
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Unread 01-23-2015   #7
Phoenix the II
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Re: Transcendence (Growth Spurts, BE, Hourglass, Gentle, Omni)

Chapter 2 part 1, The car ride...

Sapphy opened the door of a 2 seater car. Now these cars were quite roomy and so unlike the uncomfortable cars we've had in the past. There wasn't a steering wheel anymore. Just a screen in the middle. Yes, you might have guess it by now, cars nowadays are autonomous. Even combustion engines are a thing of the past. Being powered by a capacitor bank that's being charged by magnetic induction from the roads.

Charging while on the roads huh you might ask? Well, these aren't the roads we used to have like before. Our technology in generating energy from our surroundings made it much more efficient to use our roads as solar power generators combined with a power network to the whole towns. And for when the sun generating more than enough power. We would use the extra power generated that wasn't used to make some hydrogen fuel. So that when more power was needed, we could burn these again. Clean and efficient. Not that solar power was the only source for energy. At it's current stage, it's the most developed and efficient we now had.

A family of 2 parents and a small kid could sit on the couch like seats in the car. My 2 small catgirlfriends and me barely fitted on it. Yes, we could've taken a bigger car. But Sapphira and Esmeralda loved to cuddle up to me when riding in the car. So I dared not to let any of them down and watch Sapphira bend forward to enter the car. They loved wearing skirts, especially during the warm summer days. And I loved seeing them wear skirts. They always look very cute in them.

The twins always dressed alike, often confusing others by whom is who. Until people looking into their eyes. And today was no exception. Wearing frilly light blue skirts just up a bit above their knees height. And on a hot day like today, a sleeveless white shirt matched up pretty nicely. Although their firm C cup breasts didn't need a bra, they often would wear them because of the cute ribbons or other designs they had.

Staring at the beautiful slim legs stepping into the car and sitting down, I soon was pushed by Esmy.

"Stop staring! Now is not the time" Esmy said while pushing me into the car.
"Alright, alright!"

They loved it though, being admired for their beauty by me. Often striking sexy poses for me while nobody was watching. Teasing me with them.

Carefully I sat down next to Sapphy in the car, taking care not to sit on her tail that was lying on the seats. I picked it up and moved it a little bit so it lied curled up along her hip towards her leg. It was a sensitive thing for them, being touched there. A catgirl would get pretty mad if you would touch their tails if they didn't like you. Esmy didn't waste a moment and just when I settled next to Sapphira. With closing the door of the car, Esmeralda was already cuddling up to my right arm… Hopelessly in love.

"Welcome to Solastar no. 871." The car screen turned on and a voice spoke.
"Checking for damages..."

A moment passed by…

"No damages found, Capacitor charged to 70%. Where do you want to go?" The car asked.
"New London Research Lab!" Sapphira shouted.

"Please specify which, Lab 1, 2, 3 or 4.?" the female voice of the car spoke again.
"Oh, wow 4?" Esmy was surprised the this town had 4 research labs.
"Setting route to Research Lab 4..."
"Nononono! We need to go to Lab 3!" Sapphira quickly correctly.
"Readjusting route to Research Lab 3, estimated arrival time in 14 minutes. Please enjoy your ride."

A map came up on the screen showing us our route to the lab.

I laughed, the artificial intelligence in the car wasn't all that great yet. But it did it's job.

As you might have noticed by now. Technology has made major leaps in advancement when you really focus on big improvements, compared to minor improvements just to milk out customers for their money as long as you can.

The car hummed as it's electric engine sprung to life. Accelerating in a linear curve to a nice speed. Traffic lights, road signs and other stuff disappeared over the last few years. They're not needed anymore in a world where cars would communicate with each other to determine how to drive safely. It certainly was a good thing, so you could enjoy the view of the world without it being polluted with signs everywhere.

The route took us through town's center, an huge solar power plant. The center this large town energy needs.



Driving around it and a few streets further we passed the distribution center. You could see it like your todays shopping mall. But rather than having multiple small clothes stores or supermarkets doing all basically the same thing. It was just 1 big "mall" with departments for getting your food or clothes. Or any other need.

"Oh, after we've finished today. Let's stop by here!" Esmeralda pointed towards a japanese sushi restaurant.

They loved seafoods, hehe, especially fish. It fits with them catgirls I guessed.

"Sure, why not?" I smiled back at them. Watching the scenery pass by as the car drove itself further through New London. The overall looks of the town was a lot of green, trees, plants, flowers and small creeks and puddles everywhere. It really felt like there was a perfect harmony between nature and civilization.

Passing by some farms, our food source for this town. One of the first things we fully automated so that we could continue on focusing on other key issues in today society.

The car turned another corner, and the lab came into view. Just located outside the town. It had the proper space and fields to test things out.

"There it is!"
"We're here!"
"It just looks like on the website!"

Sapphy and Esmy both excitedly said. They waited for this day for so long. It was happening.

"I hope you enjoyed your ride, good day!" The female voice of the car said as it parked itself on the lot in front of the building and powering down.
In all excitement my girlfriends raced out of the car towards the entrance… pulling on my arms dragging me forward.

"Easy, now. Control yourselves." I said as the doors in front of me both slid open.

"Welcome to New London Research Lab 3!" The receptionist said.
"How can I help you?"
"Uhm, we're new as of today." I said.
"Ah, yes I've been notified of newcomers today. You must be Felix right?" the girl in the chair behind the desk asked me. I nodded.
"Then these two cutey's? Esmeralda and Sapphira?" She pointed towards them in the wrong order.
"I'm Sapphira!"
"I'm Esmeralda!"
"Oops, I'm sorry, I didn't notice. You like so much like each other. But the eyes sets you apart huh? You can call me Claudia." Claudia smiled.
"Ah, and let me call up the supervisor of today."

"Thanks Claudia" I said. Seeing her push a few buttons on the screen in front of her.

Chapter 2 part 2, Touring the facility.

What wondrous technologies are being developed?
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Unread 01-23-2015   #8
Kitran
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Re: Transcendence (Growth Spurts, BE, Hourglass, Gentle, Omni)

Looking good so far. Eagerly awaiting the next part.
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Unread 01-30-2015   #9
Phoenix the II
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Re: Transcendence (Growth Spurts, BE, Hourglass, Gentle, Omni)

I kinda went a bit overboard introducing Claudia and Vivian... Touring comes a bit later I guess...

Chapter 2 part 2, Meet Vivian...

"Please do take a seat. She needs just a few minutes to get here." Claudia replied.

With taking a seat on the bench, my girlfriends did so as well. Not a moment left in which they left me alone and started cuddling up to me again. Making a low pitched happy purring noise.
Ah yes, catgirls sometimes purr too especially when they feel happy and comfortable, just like actual cats.

With closed eyes they were hugging my arms. Making us look like a really cute triad…

"Aww, they're adorable there, Felix" Claudia started looking at me.
"When did you three actually hook up together?" She asked.
"Actually, I was the one who got picked by them. About 2 years ago. Back at schoolyard, when I just was about to go home. There they stood, my classmates waiting for me. Initially I walked past by them, saying my 'See you tomorrow' and a smile."

Sapphira opened her eyes, she loved telling the story…

"Ah. That's where we asked you to come to our house to do our homework together." Sapphira continued.
"We know you had a problem with math class that day and looked frustrated about it. So we offered our help to him." Esmeralda appended to Sapphira.
"It was really helpful that day! Having a great time, playing some games on the computer. It became a recurring thing." I smiled.
"Felix is a very warm and caring person, very comforting and capable of receiving so much love from us two." Sapphira dreamingly said while placing a sweet kiss on my cheek before I continued.
"Then just one of the evenings, I kind of stumbled on the carpet and fell on Esmeralda. Our faces near each other looking each other in the eyes. Few moments later, she was kissing me. And before I knew it, Sapphira whom was sitting at the other side of the table rushed over and pushed us over. Not letting her twin sister get ahead of herself and kissed me too. And well, you know… Catgirls, once they pick their lover… Anyways, I've been very blessed with having them as my partners for life".

I threw my arms around them and hugged them tightly. Petting them between their kitty ears on the heads.

"Must've been a hell of a ride at school, suddenly dating 2 pretties and the other guys in your class?" Claudia giggled.
"Ah, yes. The next day at school, the change in affection towards me was immediately picked up. Firstly a few rants from them, telling how much better they would've suited them than a 'sweet ass pussy' like me. Until they finally really noticed that Sapphira and Esmeralda weren't looking for a tough guy. Few days later the others left us alone, admitting defeat. There wasn't anything that would be changing for them anyhows."
"Hahaa, not that they didn't try ofcourse!" Sapphira laughed remembering silly things they tried to do to win them over.

A girl wearing a white lab coat was approaching the reception area from the main hall further ascdown the building. Braided long light sky blue hair with a few curly bangs touching her shoulders. Safety glasses strapped onto the top of her head. She appeared to be in her mid twenties. And from what I could see, 2 masses of flesh bouncing in her shirt with each step she took. Big! G cups I would've guessed. "Damn, could these things get any bigger than that?" I asked myself, never having seen such big ones.

Something poked me in the sides of my torso. An elbow from Sapphira. Yap, I got noticed staring at them by her. I shamefully rubbed behind my head and excused myself to her.
Standing up, The girl was standing in front of us. She was pretty tall for a girl 5'8" just 2 inches shorter than me.

"Hello, Felix, Sapphira and Esmeralda." The girl took a quick bow before continue'ing.
"I'm Vivian."
"Hi Viv!" Sapphira and Esmeralda both shook each of her hand in joy. Causing Vivian's breasts to jiggle with her arms bouncing against the sides of them. They were straight looking into the exposed cleavage of the deep V cut shirt Vivian was wearing.
"My my, aren't you cheerful girls." Vivian chuckled a bit. Although I was being punished a few moments earlier for ogling Vivian's bust. Sapphy and Esmy were doing it themselves now. My catgirls were bisexual, often doing each other just to relief themselves of desires.
I poked them back, making a cough and gave Vivian a handshake too. Most definitely a gorgeous girl.

"It's great to finally have you girls and Felix here. We were really intrigued by your application. I think you'll can contribute a lot to a few of the projects we've currently got running now! Maybe even start one of your own in some time." Vivian explained as we followed her to the locker room.

Coming into it we had to split up. The rooms for females and males were separated.

"Oh, there should be a locker for you inside, put the stuff on and we'll see you back here." Vivian pointed at the men's room door.

"Ok.., see you in a minute." And I went in. It was just a standard locker room. A shower stall and a few benches to change yourself into some other clothes. Searching for my locker took a while until I saw one with a key sticking out and my name on it. Inside a pair for white lab coats just like Vivian was wearing and a safety goggle.

I had to get rid of my summers shorts, in exchange for some trousers. Lab regulations on safety…, Thankfully the lab provided it's personnel with clothing if needed and I took one of the pants of one the stacks lying on and moments later I was standing outside of the locker room again. Waiting for the other girls…

Meanwhile in the girls locker room…

Sapphy and Esmy opened their own locker.
"So, Vivian, how big are these actually…?" Sapphy started off.
"Big?" Vivian looked confused. In which Esmy turned around with her coat.
"These!" Her finger poking into the bust of Vivian.
"C'mon Viv, you can tell us, girls only here!" Sapphy smiled. Taking a few moments, Vivian shocked by their straightforwardness, but absolutely adored by the looks of them…
"H cup, homegrown. If you suspected me from having them done."
"Oh no no, we didn't mean it like that. You're just the biggest we've ever seen before."
"Yea, I get that often. Don't worry about it. I'm happy with them."
"I bet you are..." Esmy grinned and laughed a bit.
"Anyways enough about my breasts, as per Lab safeties, you can't be wearing skirts inside. Please put on these." Vivian handed them each a trouser.

Not long after having changed themselves into the trousers Vivian gave. They got the safety goggles out of the locker. But with pulling it out something along tied to it came with it.

"A ribbon?" Esmy questioned Vivian.



"You like it? It's my gift to you. We can't have your hair hanging loose here. So why not tie it up with it. You'll look way too cute. Here let me help." Vivian replied and couldn't wait to see them wearing it. And started doing a braid just like she was wearing herself. But with the ribbons.
"Thank you, Vivian!" Sapphy smiled.
"No problem, when I saw your photo's with the application, I just had to.."

...

Finally, it had been taking a while for them in there… But when they came out, I was surprised. My girlfriends came running to me in excitement showing themselves off. Making a pirouette. Their tails wiggled through a specially sewn in hole in the lab coat.

"Look at this cute ribbon!"
"Viv, gave it us!"
"Really? It's really nice of you." I thanked Vivian.
"Oh no no, it's a thank you from me instead. I'm proud of having them volunteering to help us." Vivian smiled gracefully.
"Time to visit the projects we've got that you might be interested in!"

And so we continued onto the deeper parts of the complex.

Chapter 2 part 3, Touring the facility.

What wondrous technologies are being developed?

Last edited by Phoenix the II; 01-31-2015 at 09:15 AM.
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Unread 01-31-2015   #10
Kitran
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Re: Transcendence (Growth Spurts, BE, Hourglass, Gentle, Omni)

That's why I can't write stories anymore. I get off on tangents and often deviate from the main plot line. BTW, you briefly switched from the 1st person perspective to the 2nd person perspective when you wrote ' "Aww, they're adorable there, Felix" Claudia started looking at you.' Should've been 'looking at me'. Otherwise not bad.
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Unread 01-31-2015   #11
Phoenix the II
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Re: Transcendence (Growth Spurts, BE, Hourglass, Gentle, Omni)

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Originally Posted by Kitran View Post
That's why I can't write stories anymore. I get off on tangents and often deviate from the main plot line. BTW, you briefly switched from the 1st person perspective to the 2nd person perspective when you wrote ' "Aww, they're adorable there, Felix" Claudia started looking at you.' Should've been 'looking at me'. Otherwise not bad.
Fixed , ty . Well, I'm actually liking that im deviating here and there. Because I like to write a long story, not a shorty..
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Unread 02-02-2015   #12
Kitran
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Re: Transcendence (Growth Spurts, BE, Hourglass, Gentle, Omni)

Yeah, I'm not saying that it's a bad thing, per se. I just have a bit more trouble in keeping the plot going and keeping it interesting when I write. But keep up the good work. I'm eagerly awaiting the next addition.
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