Curvaceous Cardinal Vices

[vidgamer85]

No more cliche than the 'good guy' always defeating the 'villains' fella, as has happened thus far.
Like I said, her personality traits make her a sympathetic character despite it being a "vice"; whereas the others embrace their traits, she seems to have them in spite of her self, and hasn't thus far displayed any form of aggressive jealousy.

[cyero]

Originally Posted by vidgamer85

Like I said, her personality traits make her a sympathetic character despite it being a "vice"; whereas the others embrace their traits, she seems to have them in spite of her self, and hasn't thus far displayed any form of aggressive jealousy.

This, in a nutshell.

[SoylentOrange]

After much anticipation: Envy's chapter! I'm betting it doesn't go quite how you'd anticipated. XD
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Chapter 9: Erin
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Sidney flopped down on his bed, exhausted. Not from the day at work he'd just gotten off of, where he kept the details of his "dates" to himself, but from the thorough inspection he'd had to give his apartment, checking all the walls and corners for cameras, checking under every bit of furniture for recordings, drawing blinds over all the windows, even going so far as to unplug his computer, phone, and even his television for good measure.
"I don't know how those conspiracy nuts do it." Sid muttered to himself, his forearm reasting on the bridge of his nose as it covered his eyes. "Being paranoid is exhausating. Maybe that's why they're all wiry."
A smile cracked his lips, blowing an amused breath out his nose. He'd been sorely lacking for amusement lately, so any humor he could find in his current situation would do him well.
As fast as light banishes shadows, the sound of a light knock on Sid's front door eradicated his smile, his eye rolling and Sid groaning out a "Come onnn..." As he pulled a pillow out from under his head and plopped it on his face, weakly punching the pillow as the knock came again.
Not a chance, Sid thought. There's no way I'm opening that door for anything unless it or they are on fire.
Sid waited, hearing nothing more but the sound of his breath collecting against the underside of his pillow. After a minute or so, he took the pillow away and put it back under his head, almost kind of surprised the knock hadn't returned. He was just considering getting up when her heard the knock again, soft and nearly inaudible were it not for the fact that Sid had unplugged just about everything in his room. Sid rolled his head back and forth on his pillow. How long was this going to go on? Could he call the police? Would it even work, since it was a different woman each time?
Sidney grudgingly got up out of bed, each conflicting emotion jockeying for the spot at the front of his brain. Should he be angry? Pleading? Should he try and bargain with them? Why is he being picked on in the first place, why him? All he'd managed by the time he made it to his door was a sense of general frustration, but when he flung open the door, he found no outlet for his ire. He checked the ground, making sure it wasn't another letter like the last one, but his stoop was empty. Sid listened for a moment, but heard nothing out of the ordinary. Shaking his head, he turned back inside, wondering if maybe it had been a genuine visitor.

Sidney set about making his dinner, starting to feel a little more relaxed. No one could blame him for being wound up after the week he'd had, but he tried to shake it off- it wasn't good to hold stuff like that inside for too long, it threw your psyche out of whack.
He was halfway through filling a pan with water when he heard the knock come again. Eyes popping wide, Sidney turned the water off and rushed for the door, coming up against the door and peering through the eyehole.
On the other side, Sidney saw a girl that looked like she'd missed any exposure to fashion in fifty years. Even as little as Sidney paid attention to fashion, the long-haired girl on the other side of the door had an outfit that would need to be several shades more vibrant to even qualify as drab. A plain sweater, featureless long skirt, shawl over her shoulders and a cap pulled over her eyes, she didn't seem to be wearing her clothes so much as hiding under them. Sid's brow furrowed as he saw her turn away, making it almost to the steps leading down before turning back, looking as nervous and unsure as a child called to the front of the class to give a book report on a book they hadn't read. Sid's brow unfurrowed just a bit as he watched the woman shift her balance from foot to foot, looking down at her folded and fidgeting hand before looking back up to the door. She reached her hand toward the door, but hesitated, drawing her hand back until she was nearly kissing her knuckle. Sideny pulled back, looking around his apartment to make sure he was alone as the timid knock came again. She couldn't be related to the other women that had been leading them on... unless it was all an act. In either case, he needed to know for sure.
The woman jumped back as Sid opened the door mid-knock, her knuckles batting against the air before she jumped back, clutching both hands to her chest.
"...What is it?" Sidney asked, trying to cover the tired disdain in his voice.
"Uh, well, ahem, hello Mr. Grahm," The woman started, attempting a smile before falling back to the previous concerned expression. "Um, my name is Erin, uh, and-"
"You here for a 'date'?" Sid asked, leaning his shoulder against the edge of the door, hand still on the knob.
"What?" Erin asked, blinking. "Well, no, I mean, yes, but, not a 'date' exactly..."
"Strike one," Sidney said, one brow lowering while the other arced up slightly.
"Wh-what?" Erin asked, brow pinching up in a pleading look.
"And you want be to go do something, right?"
"W-well, no, er, I suppose, but only if you wanted to!" She said, backing up a step and looking to either side.
"Strrrrrike two," Sid sighed. "And let me guess, you're related to that Van Ides lady, or Lucy, or Gail, or one of them?"
"I- yes, but- that's, you can't, uh, don't get to choose your relatives, right?" Erin stammered, forcing out the most strained and awkward laugh he'd heard sine Mr. Kim had tried to act like "one of the guys" when Sid and Kevin had to stay late doing inventory one weekend.
"I think we're done here," Sidney said, pushing off the door and closing it.
"W-wait!" Erin said, taking a step forward and reaching for the door, but faltering before coming close enough to actually touch it. "Please...?" She whispered as the door clicked shut.

Sidney shook his head as he stepped away from the door, going back to the kitchen and resuming his cooking. What did they get out of it, he wondered? If that Philanthropy and Ethics thing was all a sham, as he hadn't been able to find anything about it on the internet, then what was the point? It seemed like he was being picked on for no reason. The idea of a reality show came back to Sid, but hopefully after this they would realize they weren't going to get any more good tape from him and end this whole charade. But in the off-chance he wasn't being paranoid, he still didn't understand the point of it all. Take him to restaurants outside his comfort zone, embarrass him, and then abandon him? Even on Candid Camera they at least let you in on the joke and gave you a t-shirt or flowers or something.
Sidney leaned over to toss the seeds and stems from the peppers he'd just cut up and balked as they nearly slid off the top of the piled garbage in his kitchen bin. He hadn't realized he'd left it out so long, so he wiped his hands on his pants and pulled the bag out of the trash can, cinching the drawstrings up and double-knotting it.
Sidney walked out of the stairway leading to his apartment, squinting as the last rays of sunlight cut low over the bay, bright orange swatches painting bits of the street, the occasional streak of long shadow rolling past it. He lowered his head and squinted against the glare, making his way to the dumpster in the alley near his building. Thankfully, one of the lids had been left open, so Sid was able to just hurl the bag into the dumpster without having to touch it.
As sid turned back, hand against his forehead to block the sunlight, he saw Erin again, sitting on the curb with her back to him, elbows on her knees and her cap pulled tightly around her ears.
Figures, Sid thought as he turned the corner, leaving her behind. IS this how it's going to be? Can't even leave my home anymore for fear of strange women bugging me? He shook his head and looked over his shoulder, catching her more in profile this time. Erin's hair was cascading down the sides of her face, pooling in the folds of her skirt around her knees, completely obscuring her face. Sid looked for a second, waiting for her to look and see where Sid was going, but she kept staring straight down at her lap. In fact, were it not for the steady kneading of her cap in her fingers, Sid could have been forgiven for thinking she was catatonic. Sid turned and shook his head, continuing back to his building.

He had just put his foot on the first step, looking back one last time, when he just sort of froze, looking at her sitting there on the curb, her feetin in the gutter.
It's a trick, he thought. An act.
If she's acting, then she's doing a pretty terrible job of it, he throught back to himself. She's not coming across like any of the others.
So they're trying a new tactic, he scoffed, shaking his head.
But you don't even know who they are, he chided himself. Really, look at her. Does she look like she's calling any kind of nshots right now? Like she wants to be here?
It's still probably a trick, Sid protested as he slid his foot off the step and back onto the pavement. She's waiting for me to come close and embarrass me on television.
Well, he decided as he turned towards Erin, if I'm going to be made a fool of on televiwsion, I'm not going to be made a fool of as a bastard.
"Hey," he started as he slowly approached Erin, "you okay?"
Erin's head whipped around, stumbling to the side a bit as she lurched to her feet. Sid caught the look of fear and panic in her eyes, and realized that whatever was going on, he doubted Erin was a part of it- at least, not willingly.
"Um, fine! Fine. I'm, um, what can I do for you? She asked, tugging on her cap and shawl, trying to straighten her clothes out.
Sid tilted his head slightly to the side, wondering about Erin's odd behavior. Everyone else had wanted him to do something- now she's the one sking? "Uh, well, sitting on the curb isn't my idea of anice time," He said, "especially not in Chinatown."
"Um, I-I guess," She said, looking away from Sid down the street.
Sid watched as she looked this way and that, shoulders hunched, eys covered by her cap.
"...Look, I'm sorry I snapped at you," Sid finally said. "It's been a long week."
"I know," Erin nodded. "I'm sorry."
"All right, well, you wanna go for a walk?" Sid asked. "Or was your plan to just hang out here all night?"
"Oh!" Erin squaked, jumping in place. "I'm sorry! Don't let me hold you up..."
Sid snorted and shook his head. "Easy there. C'mon, where do you live? I'll walk you home."
"Ohh, you don't want to see my place," Erin said, shaking her head. "I... can we go somewhere else? If that's okay?"
"All right, let's just... head this way," Sid said, picking the path away from where he worked.
"Oh-okay," Erin said, falling in step behind Sid.
"So, how do you know that Priscilla woman?" Sid asked over his shoulder.
"Oh, she's my, um, she's my boss," Erin said, looking down.
"Do you work with Gail too, then? She seemed to be working for Priscilla."
"Oh no, she's my boss too," Erin said.
"So what do you do for... hey, what're you doing?" Sid asked.
"What? What?" Erin asked, looking around and patting her ears with her hands.
"Why're you hanging so far back?" Sid asked. "I'm nearly having to walk backwards to look at you."
"I-I'm sorry!" Erin said, stepping up next to Sid, but still behind the line of his shoulders.
"It's okay," Sid smiled, putting a hand up. "Just, there's no need to mope. I promise I won't snap at you."
"O-okay," Erin said, fidgeting her shawl between her hands.
"So what did Priscilla send you out here for?" Sid asked, sighing. "Another 'date'?"
"Um, well, a-actually, I, um, came to, sort of, well, apologize," Erin said, looking away from Sid.
"Apologize? For what?" He asked, a little klaxon sounding in the back of his mind.
"Just, for Gail leaving you with the bill, and Lucy trying to, um, to-" She stammered, blushing a bit.
"Well, okay," he said, chuckling. "But why you? Because I hadn't seen you before?"
"Um, I don't- well, you know, that's probably right, that sounds smart. I guess that's why I didn't figure it out."
"So she sent you out here to apologize?"
"Yeah, well, no- I mean, probably, she didn't say so but she probably knew that's what I'd do when I got here. I, I don't know why they sent me, not when I'm so bad at this..."
"Bad at what?" Sid asked, brow arching as he slowed his walk abit to get her even with him again.
"Just, people, this whole thing. I just..." Erin looked acros the street, her face falling. "I wish I could be like that," She said, Sid tracing her gaze to a pair of women walking down the other side, one talking animatedly to the other, who was laughing with her head back and a hand up to her forehead.
"Like what?" Sid asked, looking back to Envy as she stopped.
"Confident," She replied, still looking. "Self-assured. Expressive. Happy." She sighed and shook her head. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't've said anything. I've already messed this up."
Sid's brow furrowed, the claxon blaring more insistently but a smaller part wondering if she wasn't genuine all the same. "What's the matter?"
"Nothing," Erin said, shaking her head. "I'm sorry I bothered you, I should probably just go," She said, turning.
"Whoa, wait!" He said, reaching out to grab her wrist before she got away. She spun in surprise, Sid being jerked closer to her as her eyes went wide.
"What?! What'd I do?!" She exclaimed, shying away from Sid.
"Nothing, nothing!" He replied, letting go and holding both hands up in front of him. "Just, relax for a second, okay? Don't go anywhere."
"O-okay," she said, twiddling her fingers together in front of her.
Sid blinked, looking at Erin, her eyes once again darting to the street. Before he'd thought she was acting, but looking at the genuine discomfort that fairly radiated from her body, he realized now that she was definitely not in control of her own destiny.
"C'mon," He said, stepping to turn next to her, putting a hand gently on her back, "Let's keep going."
"O-okay," She stammered.
"...What does Priscilla have you do, usually?" Sid asked, looking at her.
"Um, w-well, whatever she wants, really," Erin said. "I'm just a gofer, nothing special."
"Well, like what?"
"What, um, anything she wants, really," Erin answered, still looking at the ground as she walked.
"And you just do it?" He asked.
"You don't understand," She said, shaking her head. "She's so much smarter than I am, so much stronger... who am I to say no?"
"Well, what about Gail?" Sid asked.
"She handles financials," Erin said. "You wouldn't think someone so elegant would have such a head for finances, but she can just think circles around me. Oh, look at that!" She looked up, pointing to a man rolling in the evening traffic in a bright red supercar, the engine rumbling enough for Sid to feel it in his teeth even as slowly as it was crawling through the narrow streets.
"Good grief," Sid said, following it with his head.
"Wouldn't it be nice to have that kind of money, where you could blow that much just on a car?" Erin asked, sighing wistfully.
"I suppose," Sid replied.
"You suppose?" Erin asked. "What fantastic freedom that must be, to just have the money to get whatever you want, go wherever you want, do whatever you want, whenever you want..."
"Yeah," Sid nodded, "but I remember what Gail and her half-sister said. For all her money, Gail is basically on-call twenty-four hours a day, always having to do something to keep everything going. For all her freedom, she doesn't get all that much time to use any of her money."
"So, so you'd want less money?" Erin asked, skeptical.
"Well, I mean, I can't say it wouldn't be nice to have more money, but I don't know that I'd want the life having as much as Gail or that guy has would require."
"I don't know," Erin replied. "I certainly wish I could afford better clothes than... *this*," She said, gesturing down to her clothes.
"Aw, I think you look, um, okay," Sid said, taking in just how drab and muted Erin's clothes were. At least they weren't threadbare.
"Yeah... 'okay'," She sighed. "I wish I looked, well, like her," She said, pointing to a couple up on a billboard.
"Oh, c'mon," Sid said, chuckling a little. "You know they airbrush all of those people anyways."
"Gilding the lilly, maybe," Erin said, "but there's only so much you can work with." She twiddled her hair in one of her fingers, looking down. "Only so many winners in the ol' genetic lottery. I mean, look at the cheekbones, the jawline,
the curve of the muscles from the neck to the shoulders! Such strength, such elegance..." Her voice trailed off a bit as her eyes lowered back to the ground. "I mean, don't you wish you loked like that? Just to be able to think 'yeah, I look better than you' at everyone as you walk down the street?"
Sid chuckled a bit. "We can't all be Brad Pitt," He said. "Only one person gets to look better than *every*body..."
"I'd settle for *any*body..." Erin muttered.
"Now come on, you look fine..." Sid started.
Erin spun and gave Sid a simpering look, hands on her hips. "Can you look me in the eye and tell me you feel the same way looking at me right now than you would if I had the same curves Lucy does?"
Sid's face flushed, recalling the way he'd barely been able to see straight when Lucy had been pressing herself against him. "Well, I mean, just because you're not, ah, the best, um, doesn't mean you're not still prettier than most, right?"
"Right," Erin said, turning away and folding her arms. "I've really got a leg up on people born with cleft palettes and downs syndrome."

Sid opened his mouth to speak, but the klaxon in the back of his head suddenly blared a single shrill note. It was too much, Sid thought, too far. It was some sort of trick, trying to appear vulnerable so Sid would... act supportive, or affectionate, something to draw him close and then spring whatever trap was in store for him this time.
"Well," Sid said, shrugging. "Can't win them all, I suppose."
"Don't need to tell me," Erin said, shking her head. "I've been living in her buxom shadow forever."
Sid blinked. She hadn't missed a beat, hadn't had to formulate any kind of response. Either she was a much better actor than the other girls or she was genuinely that insecure.
"...Anyways, uh, you thirsty? I know a guy that brews all these hot teas from a cart a few streets this way."
"Uh, sure," Erin said, falling into step behind Sid as they started walking again. "Whatever you feel like."
"Well, is there something else you feel like?" He asked.
She shrugged again. "Anything's fine," She answered. "Usually when I go out anywhere Gina orders for me- she says I need to broaden my horizons."
"That seems.. kind of presumptuous," Sid said.
"It's okay," Erin said. "I don't exactly have a refined palete. The way Gina talks about food, it's like she's explaining a painting to a blind person. I wish I could enjoy something as much as she enjoys cooking and eating..."
"Well, what *do* you enjoy, Erin?" Sid asked.
"Oh, I don't know... I like it when I get some time off for myself. No one bothering me or yelling at me."
Sid frowned. "And, uh, what do you do on your time off?"
"Oh, I like to go watch things," Erin said. "I like watching nature. All the graceful birds and speedy felines and all the other wildlife..."
"Oh, yeah," Sid said, smiling at finally finding some sort of positive avenue. "I really like that stuff, too. Fish, birds, reptiles-"
"Not reptiles," Erin said, shaking her head.
"No? Why not?"
"They're just... ugly," Erin said, frowning.
"Well, okay, they won't win any beauty contests," Sid chuckled, "But they're still interesting."
"Right..."

"Ni hao," Sid said, greeting the Chinese vendor as he came up to the cart. "Black tea okay?" He asked, turning to Erin.
"Sure."
"Two black teas," Sid said, reaching for his wallet.
"No, I'll get it," Erin said, digging into the tiny purse she had tucked under her arm as the vendor steeped some of the hot tea.
"No, it's okay," Sid said, putting a hand on her arm. "It was my idea anyways."
"You shouldn't waste your money on me..." Erin said, though she didn't try to resist Sid's hand.
Sid paused with his thumbs hooked into his wallet, looking at Erin out of the corner of his eye. Shaking his head, he paid for the drinks and replaced his wallet. "Here," He said, giving her the styrofoam cup of tea.
"Thanks," She said, taking a sip.
Sidney blew on his tea, remembering the way Gina had drank scalding-hot tea without acknowledging the heat until Sid had brought it up. Something was up, and even though it didn't seem like she was willingly involved, she was too intimately involved with the other women to *not* know what was going on.
Sid turned down a secluded street, where the long shadows gave it the appearance of night, but still early enough for the streetlamps to have not come on yet.
"Isn't that nice?" Erin asked, sipping on her tea.
"What?"
"That man," She said, "owning his very own tea cart. I wish I could have something like that, don't you?"
For not the first time, Sid arched his brow and shook his head a little. "...Are you seriously jealous of a guy who works out of a pushcart all day?"
"Well, it might not be the most glamorous position in the world," Erin said, shrugging, "but I'd enjoy being my own boss, certainly. The freedom to just say, 'Yeah, I know I should be at work, but no, I'm not feeling well today and that's that'."
For a while Sid just stared at his tea, finally turning around to face Erin. He opened his mouth, then took a quick glance over each shoulder to make sure they were alone in the alleyway.
"Erin, isn't there *anything* you like about yourself?"
"Wh-what?" She asked, clutching her tea to her chest as she pressed her back against the wall.

* * *

"Say it."
Pride was standing ramrod straight in fron of the viewing mirror, glowering at it. The other sins were clustered in the opposite corner of the viewing room, not caring how little they could see of the scene playing out, only that Pride's glaring eyes had been shimmering with violet flame off and on since her return, her fury and indignation barely constrained in every step and word.
"Say it," She repeated, the word hissing out between clenched teeth. Even Wrath knew better than to interrupt Pride like this, even her firey emotion but a candle's flicker to the raging blaze of Pride's hatred.
"Say it!" Pride said again, he lip curling into a snarl.
Envy seemed to be doing rather well enough, as far as the past week had been anything but an unmitigated disaster. Truth be told, none of the other Vices had any real hopes for her succeeding. But Pride wanted Envy to fail. Wanted her to fail desperately, and wanted her to fail right this instant.
"Say it, say it, SAY. IT." Pride hissed, her teeth still clenched in anger, the mirror-smooth skin of her face pulling back into a rictus snarl, something hideous and evil. More than anything else she wanted to see Envy fail, to see her name spoken aloud and her forced to flee.
"Say it!" She echoed, watching as Envy cowered away from Sid.

* * *


"...No, you're just trying to make me feel good," Erin said, shaking her head and looking at the floor.
"That's ridiculous!" Sid protested. "How can you say that about yourself? How could anyone?"
"I just... I just am!" She said, looking at the ground and squinting her eyes shut. "And, and I'll never be any closer, not like you, so please, can we talk about something else? Anything?"
"I- you-" Sid sputtered, before he just turned on his heel and put a palm to his forehead, looking up into the dusk sky.
It had to be genuine, he thought. Not even a professional actress could be that pathetic and unsure of herself, in every word and motion just radiating inferiority. Which meant, if she was here, that she had to be in nearly the same boat he was.
"So, Erin," Sid asked as he leaned up against the wall next to her, "How'd you get roped into all this?"
"Wh-what do you mean?" She asked, her brow furrowing as she clutched her cup to her chest.
"I can tell you don't want to be here," He said, resting on his back foot and putting his free hand in his pocket, "So what's up? What's going on?"
"N-nothing, um, I-I just wanted to apologize..."
"So you said, but you could have called. You could have sent a card. But you showed up at my door, like all the others."
Erin bit her lip and looked down at the ground.
"I get that you don't want to be a part of this," Sid said, taking his hand out of his pocket and putting it over his heart, "But whatever this *is*, it needs to stop."
"B-but... um..." Erin started.
"Who's doing this?" Sid asked. "Why me? Why you? What is the ultimate goal here, who's in charge of all this?"
"I, um, I r-really shouldn't..." She said, standing up from the wall.
"Shouldn't what?" Sid asked, coming off the wall and turning so he was between her and the mouth of the alley. "Look, I've had enough of these games. I recognize you don't want to be a part of this, but I'm fed up with it all. Tell me what's going on."
"I- I can't," Erin said, shaking her head and backing up a step.
"Sure you can!" Sid said, lowering his voice to a whisper. "Look, there's no one else here. Just tell me."
"No," Erin said, shaking her head more vigorously this time. "They're watching, they'll see."
"'They' who?" He asked, looking around. "We're in a loading dock after hours in a crummy neighborhood! They don't even bother withe security cameras here because everything's so worthless!"
"I- I can't!" She said, dropping her tea and shaking her head.
"Then we're going to the police," Sid said, advancing on her. "I'm getting answers one way or another."
"No!" Erin yelled, trying to run, but Sid grabbed her wrist with one hand, being thrown off balance as she pulled away but managing to grab on tighter with his other hand as he spun around, crashing to the floor with his left hand still locked around her wrist.
"You're- ow- not getting away from me!" Sid yelled as Erin seemed to drag him a few steps further before realizing he was attached.
"I- I-" she sputtered, looking scared and confused.
"I'm- rrgh- stronger than you," Sid said as he got up, still holding Erin's wrist. "So you can tell me what's going on, or we can roll around on the street until I find a police officer," He said, grabbing onto her wrist with his other hand just in case the effortlessness she pulled out of his hand the first time wasn't a lucky fluke.
Erin pulled away, eyes darting about frantically, a combination of sweat and tears collecting on her face. "No, please!"
Every time she pulled, Sid was jerked around like a child hanging onto a mechanical bull, but his grip somehow held.
"Come on!" Sid pleaded as he and Erin danced across the alley, Sid managing to catch both her wrists as she went to pry his hands off of her right wrist.
"Stop it!" Erin wailed. "Please, you can't- I don't-"
"Rrrgh..." Sid grunted, barely able to keep either his footing or his grip as they swung around. "Just tell me!" He grunted. "Just tell me so I can stop this!"
"YOu- you can't!" Erin sobbed. "None of us can! Please! Let me go!"
"I'm... not... letting... go!" Sid yelled as he struggled with her. "Not until... you answer me!"
"AaaaaAAAAIIIIIEEEEE!" Erin screamed, the sound piercing Sid's ears and making him cringe away from it. He'd just unsquinted his eyes when he saw a giant fireball, seemingly coming from everywhere and nowhere at once. He barely had a chance to gasp before the flames had envelloped him, and there was a wrenching sensation as his vision spun, his world envelloped in darkness and his ears popping as though he had just descended in an airplane.

With a whoosh of air, Sid found hemels staring at an Erin that was most definitely not Erin; the visage in front of him was sporting a crown of curved horns and fin-like ears. He glanced down, and even past the scaled skin, the three-fingered hands, and the wings, his attention was immediately drawn to the fact that beneath the horse he was somehow straddling, the ground- a twisted, alien, unnatural landscape- appeared to be hundreds of yards beneath him. Sid's gaze snapped up just in time to see Erin's snap to his as well, a mask of sheer bewildered terror worn over her alien features.
"Hey!" Sid heard from behind him, and spun towards the front of the horse, only to be met with a pale, weathered face under a shock of white hair. The centaur's face went from cross to surprised as she met Sid's gaze, her head pulling back as she gasps as wide as her stitched-together lips would allow.
"...What are YOU doing here?!" She asked, amazed.

[vidgamer85]

Oh snap.

Also I fear I watch too much MLP, Erin had Fluttershy's voice the entire time in my head...

[SoylentOrange]

I won't lie to you, I took a *lot* of cues for Erin's speech here from Fluttershy. ^^;

Though I would appreciate more than an image macro's worth of a review- what'd you think? Did I throw you for a loop at the ending there? ^^;

[vidgamer85]

Most definitely didn't expect that to happen at any point in the story (though I've never exactly been good at predicting what would happen), which is definitely a good thing. You know how to set up things in a way that defies the expectations without it being something completely out of left field (no Shyamalan weak twists here).

Now I say "Shit just got real" in a completely serious way though. Thus far each of the events with the girls has been formulaic, with a gradual drifting as Sid begins to catch on to something screwy happening, which is good as that way each chapter isn't a mad-lib of the previous one with different locations and vices. And the events here just makes everything take a huge turn in the plot and I foresee things picking up in terms of action and frequency of events.

[cyero]

Sid.

Buddy.

Don't be Jesus.

[SoylentOrange]

What? ^^;

[cyero]

Leadin' up to a Messianic archetype thing here.

I hope to be proven wrong because you're better than that.

Also it's late.

[vincent_richter]

I would laugh so hard if he just said "but Cyero, I am your God"...

[SoylentOrange]

I can guarantee Sid isn't Jesus or any sort of God. ^^;

[vincent_richter]

Originally Posted by SoylentOrange

I can guarantee Sid isn't Jesus or any sort of God. ^^;

Wiseass moments. People have them.