Curvaceous Cardinal Vices

[SoylentOrange]

I'm familiar with the genre; I was just more wondering what similarities you saw.

(You got AIM, by any chance? PM me.)

[SoylentOrange]

Okay, after an extremely long hiatus, we're getting ready to bring "Sid & the Girls" back to DA. While Spiral finishes up the chapter pic, would you guys mind looking over Gluttony's chapter ( http://www.process-productions.com/f...&postcount=142 ) one last time and pointing out any typos you see?

[SoylentOrange]

What's that? Two story updates at once? You bet!
=======================================
"Oh man, oh man, oh man..." Gluttony said, pacing back and forth in the foyer. "YOu can't do this, you just can't!" She pleaded.
Sid stood in the middle of the hallway under the catwalk, arms folded over his chest. "You've already said I *can*," he admonished, "You just don't *want* me to."
"You don't understand," She pleaded, "this is the lowest of the low. If you're bad enough to get into our private offices, to get our personal attention..."
"What, you're afraid I'll hold the door open for them?" Sid asked, trying not to enjoy her consternation so much. Schadenfreude wasn't really like him, but at the same time for all the frustration they'd put him through recently he was glad to know they weren't immune to it themselves.
"No, no, nothing like that- it's actually impossible for you to communicate meaningfully with the damned- but it's still, it's just, like, well..."
"Like someone barging into your work and asking what everything does," Greed said, perched once more on the railing of the catwalk. "So, you want to see our offices, do you?"
"I would indeed," Sidney replied, leaving out the fact that his goal as stated to Gluttony was to irritate the vices enough to hopefully send him home.
"...All right," Greed said, standing straight. "I'll never give up the chance to have the first of something."
"Greed..." Gluttony started.
"Oh, don't be such a fussbudget, sis," Greed said, waving her off with her right arms as she turned towards the stairs. "Come on up, Sidney, I'll show you where the money's made."
Sidney looked at Gluttony, then proceeded up the stairs, sweat aleady staining the silk jerkin he'd made for himself. No wonder the vices all wore what amounted more or less to bikinis in their demonic forms, he thought as he followed Greed into a room with seven standing mirrors in it.

"Here's where the magic happens and the money's made," Greed announced, turning and spreading her four arms.
Sidney looked around, picking out each Vice's mirror by their design, as telling and distinctive as the chairs at the table below. "Okay," He said, looking around. "I'll bite. What now?"
With a theatrical flourish, Greed gestured to the gold and gem-encrusted frame of her mirror, and the silver pane in the middle shimmered, becoming foggy and insubstantial.
"After you," Greed said.
"Yeah, like I'm gonna fall for that," Sidney said as he walked up next to Greed and took one of her outstretched hands. "You first, and I'll follow, like this."
Greed looked at Sidney with a calculating expression, before jerking her hand out of his and grabbing him around the wrist. Sidney jerked his hand out in response, jumping back and kicking over one of the seven futons in the room, Sloth's by the shape of it.
"Interesting," Greed said, smiling.
"What is?" Sid asked,already looking towards the exit.
"Your grip meant virtually nothing to me," She said, rubbing her chin with one hand while her lower pair rested their hands on her hips. "It seems that while we cannot hurt or physically coerce you, the same replies in reverse. You have no power to impede us."
"Fascinating," Sid said, "so where does that leave us?"
Greed snorted. "It leaves us unable to hold each other's hands save through mutual consent," She said, offering her upper right hand to Sid. "Shall we?"
Sid took a breath, reminding himself that nothing here could hurt him, and allowing him to die would literally be the end of the world as everyone here knew it, so there wasn't anything to really be afraid of.
"No tricks," Sid said as he took Greed's hand.
"I don't moonlight," Greed scoffed. "Got enough to do as it is, and 'more work' is the only thing I'm *not* desirous of," She said as she stepped through the mirror, Sid clamping his eyes shut and holding his breath.

He hadn'teven realized he'd passed through until he felt grass under his bare feet. He opened his eyes, letting his held breath out as he looked at what appeared to be an orchard, the trees all in full bloom- with money.
"You like?" Greed asked, spinning on one hoof, arms outstretched. "Money really does grow on trees!"
"This is your... 'office'?" Sid asked, looking around at the red-orange sky, not the oppressive, dirty color of the hellscape outside the Vices' manor but a soft evening sunset, the cool, pleasant breeze a relief after the sweltering heat indoors.
"Yup! My own personal hell, for the worst of the worst," She said, smiling.
"I don't get it," He asked, reaching up to a gold coin hanging from a low branch, "How is this... hell?" He asked, his hand passing right through the branch.
"Well it's not *your* hell, of course," Greed said, turning and heading down a dirt path. "And don't worry about the coins- you can't touch anything in here, and no one can hear you, et cetera, et cetera. You basically don't exist as far as this little slice of hell is concerned."
"So... what's the point of this?" Sid asked, looking at the orchard, which seemed to go on to the horizon in all directions.
"Well, like I said, this is for the worst of the worst," Greed explained as she reached up and plucked a gemstone from the tree she was walking under, tucking it in her hair next to her horns. "This fellow is from ancient Egypt, one my easiest catches, if I say so myself. Guy just couldn't ever get enough."
"Who-" Sid started to say, before h3 spotted a dark-skinned man huddled next to a tree, naked.
"Ready to try again?" Greed said, lower arms on her hips and upper arms crossed over her chest.
The Egyptian man started, as though he hadn't seen or heard Greed until that moment. "Yes!" He said, standing up and covering himself with his hands. "Give me my garment, demon! I'll outsmart you this time!"
"I never get tired of hearing that," She said, looking at Sid. "Thousands of years old and it's still funny." Looking back to the Egyptian man, she flicked her two upper arms and a white robe appeared between them in a puff of smoke, pinched at the shoulders between her two hands. Without a word, the man put the robe on, quickly covering himself and fastening it together. Sid was amazed at how fancy it looked; the stitching appeared to be almost entirely in gold thread, heavy embroidered cords of it along all the seams and trim.
"The door awatis," Greed said simply, and the man set off down a dirt path winding between the trees.

"So what's the point of this, again?" Sid asked. "I'm still not sure how this is hell."
"Okay, so the deal is, there's a doorway at the end that leads to heaven."
"What?!" Sid asked, spinning.
"No, not really," Greed said, giggling. "At least, I don't think so. I mean, they wouldn't really leave a portal into their bckyard down here, but there is a touch of the celestial in it just the same..." She shook her head. "Anyways, there's a guardian at the end, and if the guy keeps enough money on him to pay the toll, he gets to leave."
"That's it?" Sid asked.
"Well, watch," Greed said, pointing as the Egyptian man reached up and pulled a fist-sized diamond from a tree, bouncing it from hand to hand like a hot potato.
"...It hurts to touch?" Sid asked.
"Ehh, not to touch," Greed said, two of her arms crossed behind her. "But hot enough to not be able to hold onto."
"He's got like six pockets on there," Sid said, looking at the robe as he and Greed walked on the other side of the line of trees.
"You'd think that'd make it easier, wouldn't you?" Greed asked, grinning now.
The man pulled another large gem off a tree, now juggling them between his hands.
"He's pretty good at that," Sid muttered.
"Haven't seen him drop a two-fer like that in about 700 years," Green nodded.
Sid shook his head, looking forward. In the distance he could see a clearing, a spot empty of any nearby trees, only a single golden rectangle in the flat grassland. The man juggled the two large gems in one hand for a second as he plucked a third large gem from a tree, the discomfort of the brief heat accumulating as he juggled the three gems ina steady rhythm.
"So he's going for this tactic again," Greed mused. "He knows he can't approach the gate like that- the wind that comes from it will blow the gems right out of the air. He's got to carry his toll to the gate."
"Which he can't because it'll burn him," Sid said.
"Unless he puts them is his pockets," Greed nodded, smiling. "Ooop, here we go, he's getting ready," She said, watching the man set his feet, hands still working to toss each gem intot he air after the other and catch it before repeating the cycle. Suddenly he tossed the three gems forward, running as fast as he could. Sid wached the gems arc through the air, the man holding one arm aloft and catching the three gems in his sleeve as his ofther hand tore gold and silver from the trees along the road as fast as he could, stuffing them into the topmost pocket in the robe. Sidney wondered what was the point of all this, until he noticed the gems beginning to slip through the upper part of the robe's sleeve. No, not slip though, he realized- burn through. everywhere the money touched left a small scorch mark, and after sitting long enough they would begin to burn straight through. He was bouncing them inside the sleeve, trying not to let them sit for too long on any one space, but the holes were getting larger and larger. When the first gem fell through, he caught it with his other hand and stuffed it and the other two into the lower part of his sleeve, twisting the tattered remains of his upper sleeve around them to but more time. Meanwhile, the coins in his pocket were beginning to burn through, a few coins falling out while he dealt with the gems, each coin vaporizing into a puff of smoke the instant it touched the ground.He pulled open the pocket beneath it, letting most of the coins fall into it, even as he tried to grab more off the last few trees on the path. His jog became more and more disjointed as he balanced making time to the gate with keeping his treasures wrapped in the disintegrating fabric of his robe, the wind coming from the gate making what favric there was flutter out of his grasp at inopportune times and cause him to spill more and more of his treasure as he usped the back and hem to wrap what he could in more and omre layers, once again winding up nude as he stumbled up to the gate, whares a single figure clad in the same robe looked impassively at him. Falling to his knees as he dove for some coins, he shakily held aloft the last scraps of his robe, a single jem and a handful of coins burning the craps apart enough to be blown away be the wind. The robed figure looked down and slowly shook its head, stepping back into the gate. The Egyptian man's face quivered for a moment before her fell into the grass, sobbing.
"Yeah, he stopped trying to fight or sneak past the guard a good thousand years ago," Greed said from next to Sidney. "He doesn't even bother anymore, if the guard says no he knows it means no."
Sidney blinked, looking at the figure in front of him and Greed next to him. He hadn't even thought about moving to keep up with the man, let alone an next to him, but he'd seen every motion and stumble as if he'd been following in a sidecar.
"...How'd I get here?" He asked.
"Oh, don't worry about that," Greed said, waving him off with a hand. "This is my office, remember? Imagine the whole world's ona treadmill, the action always running by right in front of me."
Sid shook his head, looking at the sobbing man on the ground. "So this is hell," He said.
"It's *his* hell, yes," Greed said, examining her nails. "Spent his whole life desiring more, more, more, and now, the one time it's actually important, it's never enough."
"And it'll never be enough," Sid said. "There's no way to have enough, right?"
"Oh no, there is!" Greed said, looking at Sid and grinning. "That's what makes it torment, that's what makes this all so *priceless*, is that he could have been out of here day one. That's what makes these places so good at what they do, is you can see the other side from here, if only they could stop being... well, themselves."
"So how much is enough?" Sid asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Oh, I dunno," Greed said, feigning contemplation. "Probably about three point oh-six-five talents worth of gold- or equivalent," She said, grinning.
"Er... what's a talent?" Sid asked.
"Five pounds. Ish," She clarified.
"Five pounds of gold? He had what, a quarter of that?"
"Less thana fifth, actually," Greed said. "Wasn't a very good gem he picked to save."
Sid shook his head. "Then how...?" He started, before looking back to the start of the trail. "Wait a sec..."
"Yes?" Greed asked as the man finally got up to his knees, crawling away to get shelter from the cool breeze against the trunk of a tree.
"...How much gold is in the stitching of that robe you gave him?"
"Three point oh-six-five talents worth, why do you ask?" Greed asked, grinning like the cheshire cat.
"You're kidding," Sidney said, arms dropping to his sides.
"Nope!" Greed said, bursting out into laughter. "Isn't it great?!"
"So all he has to do to pay the toll is touch nothing and surrender his robe at the end," He said.
"That's it."
"I don't even- I can't believe-"
"Hey," Greed said, snapping her head to look right at Sid, "believe what you want. I can tell you for a fact, that in the millennia he's been here, the thought of 'Maybe I should try nothing" has never crossed his mind. He's thought of violence and guile, but failing that, every time, it's the same thought over and over: 'How much *more* will I need to be able to pay?'"
Sidney shook his head, and Greed put a hand on his shoulder. "It seems stupid to you, I'm sure, but that's because you're not, sadly, one of mine. You can still consider taking nothing as an acceptable idea. To this guy, and those like him, 'more' is the only acceptable otpion. Whatever causes you to pass up acquiring more, or- blasphemous!- actually giving up so you have *less*... Well, like I said, in millennia he has never *once* even entertained notions of not picking up the money on the trees. He weighs how to move it quickly, how to move it safely, but passing it by? Never."
Sid sighed and shook his head. "I'm starting to regret wanting to come along here."
"Aw, cheer up!" Greed said as she took Sidney's hand, the foggy rectangle once again appearing out of thin air."It's not often I get to show my office off to anyone besides the other girls... or the occasional auditor," she said, blanching.
"...Why did you want to show me this?" He asked as Greed led them back to the viewing room.
"Because no one else had, I suppose," Greed said, shrugging. "Money's not the only thing you can collect more of than other people. It's the easiest, but it's not the only thing. I'm the first vice to have a non-condemned mortal in their office basically ever! If the other girls show you their offices, that might make it less rare, but I'll always be the first, and that's mine forever!" She said, beaming.
"...Happy to be of service?" Sid offered, scratching his head. "Gina- er, Gluttony- seemed kind of frightened about me saying I wanted to go with her."
"Oh, she's a big scardey-cat about everything,"Greed scoffed. "If it wasn't so easy to lure her places with food she'd never go anywhere, just stay in her kitchen all the time."
"That easy, huh?"
"Like a bill on a string for me," Greed chuckled. "Anyways, I'm off. Stay out of trouble, Sidney," She said, waving as she headed for the door.
"One question?" Sid asked, reaching a hand out to Greed.
"Well... sure," She said, smiling. "I'll waive my usual consulting fee since you gave me that unique experience."
"...What's the difference between you and him?" He asked.
"...What?" Greed frowned, turning to face Sid fully.
"You've condemned that man to eternal torment for basically doing what you revel in yourself. Why is he punished and you're not?"
Greed laughed, putting a hand to her mouth. "That's a silly question. I'm immortal, I can afford to spend as much time as I want in pursuit of wealth. He wasted his short time on the mortal plane chasing wealth with no end goal for it. It'd be like investing in a failing company, just bad foresight all the way down."
"So it's okay for you because you're not going to die?" Sid asked.
"Barring the sudden onset of Armageddon, yeah," Greed nodded. "That's your one freebie, any more and I'll have to charge you," She said, winking and excusing herself from the room.

"Hey, you're back," Gluttony said, as Sid came into the kitchen.
"Yeah..." Sid intoned, lost in thought.
"...Comfort food?" She offered. "Just finished up a batch of the good stuff."
"Heh. Sure, why not," Sid said, looking up at Gluttony. Sitting at the middle island, Sid had to admit she looked okay, aside from the insect mandibles coming out of the top and sides of her head. So long as he could avoid the sight of the worm-like prehansile tail coming out from above her bottom...
"Here, corned beef hash," She said, handing Sid a plate heaped high with the meat-and-potato mix. "You like some kind of sauce? Ketchup? Hot sauce?"
"Nah," Sid said, taking a fork-full of hash and lifting it out of the pile. "I'm not even-" he said, catching himself inches from eating the fod, looking at Gluttony again.
"Not even wh- oh, not this again!" Gluttony exclaimed, looking skyward as she let her arms flop down against her fat. "Okay, I know you're new here and everything, but- oh, here," she said, waddling her way around the countertop and grabbing the top of Sid's head with her hand. Sid's face scrunched up in a mix of confusion and concern, repeating the fact of his invulnerability here to himself like a mantra.
"Okay," Gluttony said, after thinking for a few seconds, "You could eat all of this," She said, pushing the plate of hash aside, "Half of this," She continued, pulling a bowl of mashed potatoes in front of him before pushing it off to the side, "And one of these," she fniished, pulling a cake tray in front of him and turning it so the already-cut wedges were facing him, "Before I'd have anything to say to you, spiritually, and given your performance at the Chinese place I pretty much know you'd never get to that point," She said, adding a muttered "spoil-sport" under her breath. "That's straight from the demonic actuary tables, but before you ask, no, I'm not going to show you them. The Infernal Revenue Service is what most of the demons down here consider hell," She chuckled.
Sid looked at Gluttony, then down at his fork, before putting it back down on the appropriate plate.
"Oh, for- really? Really?" Gluttony demanded. "What's it going to take for you to eat my food without making a federal case out of it?"
"Take me to your office?" Sid offered.
Gluttony's face pinched in irritation, and Sid jumped a bit when the giant insec mandibles atop her head flicked together twice, creating a ghastly scissoring sound that made his skin crawl thinking about something caught between them.
"...Fine," Gluttony finally said, crossing her arms over her chest. "But *only*-" she interjected, pointing a finger at Sid's chin- "if you *promise* you'll eat some of my food when we get back."
"Define 'some'," Sid said.
Gluttony grumbled, then held her hand out flat, fingers splayed parallel to the floor. "I swear on the Low Office I will not falsely advise you of consumption outside my domain," She said, staring at Sid with an intensity he'd not seen from her before, even the air around them seeming thicker for a moment.
"There," She said, hands on her hips. "Now you promise!"
Sid raised his hand like he was going under oath. "I promise I'll try some of your food after I see your office," He said.
"...All right, fine," Gluttony said, walking back around the island and checking the ovens. "Nothin' much to do while the brisket's cooking, anyways,"

As they passed through the foyer, Sid leaned in towards Lust's room, still earing sounds of energetic... something emanating from it.
"Oh, she's moved on to the endurance workout," Gluttony said as she went up the stairs. "This might be a while."
Sid put a hand to his face as he followed Gluttony into the viewing room.

[SoylentOrange]

Infernal Revenue Service. When Hell said, "how could we make things worse for everyone," and then looked to the American government for ideas. Just saying, I'm enjoying the story, Soylent.

[cyero]

Well now that I actually know this update exists -

Very great! Glad to see you back in the writing game, Soy. The Egyptian's punishment was incredibly devised, I'd suggest reusing it in something if you ever write "professionally". Gluttony continues to be adorable!

[Tindalos60]

Okay I just gave it a read. I do like the concept of Greed's office. Lots of the old punishments that fit the crime kinda stuff.

I did have one question though, is 'where the money's made' something she says just out of habit? Because you have her say that line twice very close together near the start of the chapter.

[SoylentOrange]

Greed frames most of her expressions in relation to money, just as Gluttony frames her speech in terms of food, Wrath in terms of war and fighting, etc. It's just a reflection of who they are and their mindsets.

And what'd you like about the Egyptian, Cyero? Like, specifically, what was it that made that scene work for you?

[GreatDragon AD]

SoylentOrange, I wanted say that I have following your series here for quite sometime originally through DA from Hmmm!'s posts and I've been enjoying every single chapter but once I found you originally post your stories here with the latest chapters, I was stoke. So far, the series really have its great moments but the one I enjoyed the most so far of how Sid stood up against Pride while standing for Envy. Anyway, keep up the great work.

[cyero]

Originally Posted by SoylentOrange

what was it that made that scene work for you?

It's just brilliantly, well, hellish. Completely fitting with the actual purpose of Hell while still having that delicious demonic spark to it.

[AngelusX]

This is great, very interesting character design, a lot of thought went into this and it shows in the details can't wait to see the finished products.

[hmmm!]

I haven't posted in my own thread in over a year. Here, for those who haven't seen these on my deviantart account, I re-drew Lust, Wrath and Sloth a little bit ago.