Curvaceous Cardinal Vices

[SoylentOrange]

Anyone still interested in this? Ready for more hell?

[vincent_richter]

Originally Posted by SoylentOrange

Anyone still interested in this? Ready for more hell?

Yes to this.

[Lessien]

I didn't realise like the Juggalo's story Sid's tale too had more releases here. I'll apologise in advance for cramming my thoughts on the last few chapters into a single post.

Okay from Pride's attempt at corrupting Sid the tale was still following the familiar plot and while the occassional mention of Sid getting increasingly vexed by the repeat encounters and his paranoia raising to new levels the chapter proceeded as expected. Though I only then realised you'd starting having the virtues sneaking in the ever so brief momentary appearance and in Justice's case I quite liked it (Mind you it took me half a minute before I realised it wasn't the Devil himself/herself incognito with how much emphasis you put on her sense of power.) But the crescendo of that chapter was most definitely Pride's defeat. There is nothing so satisfying as seeing the high brought low when it's people with Pride's type of personality.

Then Envy's chapter... Oh where to start? A lot of people seem fondest of Envy of all the vices. Whether this is because of the sense of needing to protect and comfort those weaker than us (Odd considering she's still more powerful than any mortal if Sid's attempts to move her are any indication of her abilities) Maybe people just like her because she's unassuming or easiest to relate to? Regardless I too was looking forward to this chapter and it did not disappoint.

I had a feeling from the start this would be the game changer chapter as she was the last vice to play her hand and at the end of it what would happen? So something had to happen, namely Sid snapping and demanding answers. I did not expect his sudden trip however. Even if it was only a few moments between scrolling down to the next entry the feeling of suspense and joy was enormous as I got to the next hurried onto the next chapter.

A visit to hell... I must say I doubt there is anything a mortal could ever desire less. But I was thoroughly enjoying every moment of this chapter. From the idle observations and covnersation as Envy and Sid descend through the house to the dramatic discovery of the surprise visitor. I loved Sid's little standoff with Pride. He gets some massive points to standing up to a demoness like her, which made her second defeat at his hands all the more sweet to read. He seems to have, whether noticable to himself or not, taken on a bit of a white knight role towards Envy. I don't think this chapter could have gone more ideally though.

Okay Sid now dealing with residing in the vice household? (for however short a time) Loving the concept. From the moment he awoke in Lust's bed with her (which I knew would be a given from her earlier attitude in the previous chapter) to his constant food dodging with Gluttony I enoyed how the vices interacted with him. Even Wrath's actions were interesting, though Envy seems hidden for the time being.

Then we visit Greed's office. Well I'd say I expected something a little more physically torturous but this was the other side of the coin. It seems no matter the story demons and damnation love defeating mortals and imprisoning them in riddles that if only they understood the concept would be so easily solved. I'm wondering if all the offices are so poetic and offer salvation if only they could change their ways? I can't imagine Pride's as anything but a beautiful person twisted ugly and surrounded by mirrors on all sides or similar themes or ridicule with no actual chance for redemption.

Still... More Gluttony in the next chapter it seems. While she's not my favourite of the vices she seems the most amiable of the vices and the second most relaxed in most regards barring of course Sloth. That and I am very curious what her office is like. It's a nice theme of going from the corruption in the mortal realm and then onto the punishment in hell for those who indulge in their choice vice to such a degree.

I look forward to the next chapter, keep up the great work and don't be discouraged by the lack of voiced opinions. I'm sure many people are are looking forward to each installment in the story.

[oxdaman]

Well, I've read Pride's chapter and the end had me laughing a bit, specifically her run in with Death. Throughout the story Pride has been described as being the one on top, the one who never fails, and who gets what she wants. Seeing someone telling Pride to "check herself before she wrecks herself" had me rolling in laughter for a minute.

First off, I don't know why she thought that she was going to be the one to sway Sid. Lust and Gluttony both had the best chances from the get go, so why made her believe that she was guaranteed the win is beyond me. I mean she even had the same chance of getting caught as Greed did- both of their names are used very often in a lot of people's vocabulary.

Still, I have to wonder how the whole system works anyway. Does a little act of a vice guarantee you a spot in hell? With Wrath, Sloth, and Greed it's obvious, but with Lust, Gluttony, and Pride there's a fine line (Envy is somewhere in the middle). I mean with Lust, that's just pure human instinct. If having sex in order to have a family is a sinful act, then all of humanity is doomed. It's just what man was made to do. With Gluttony, come on, what's wrong with trying something new? Expanding your horizons a bit? And with Pride, what's wrong with having a little of it in what you do? (Granted, I don't think that Sid does much to be really proud of. Maybe I just don't see it).

Didn't really notice the virtues appear until pride's chapter, but seeing as how there's an Act 2, I'm only a chapter away. I have to wonder what their mission will be? It's mostly just my own opinion, but after thinking about it, I feel that the roles are switched. The Vices seem more like the angels to me.

Meh, I'm rambling. I'll keep saying what I think as I continue. But now I get to see Envy's turn! (Which I was waiting for eagerly ^^).

[oxdaman]

So I just read Erin's chapter. Two parts that really had me: the middle with Pride sitting in front of the mirror and the end with Sid being forcibly dragged down to hell. Now I'm really curious as to what happens in the story.

But before I move on to Act 2, I have to comment on Erin's performance. A moment of silence.

..........

Was she trying to tempt him or literally make him fall in love with him?! I mean, when you look at it, envy's not something that you can instill in other people, so it's easy to see that she was going to fail. It There was really no chance of her tempting him with her vice at all really. But her act made it seem like she was trying to make him fall in love with her. People like her make you want to stay with them and try to support them so that they don't do anything dangerous. Although, the one in danger was actually Sid. I forgot since only Pride and Wrath have shown how strong they are, but really all the Vices have superhuman strength. Sid would've had better luck with a bucking bronco!

On to Act 2!

[oxdaman]

Sid what the -er- what on earth have you gotten yourself into?! Lol! But seriously, kid's up the creek right now. I can't even predict what will happen at this point.

Really enjoyed everyone's reactions to Sid being in Hell though. Famine freaked out, Greed didn't know what to say, and Pride flipped out. Though for the first time since the story began, Sid has shown that he has courage. Thank god he had the protection because his actions would've considered nothing less suicidal. But I really enjoy seeing Pride lose her cool. Out of all the Vices, she seems like the only bad egg lol.

Must. Read. More!!

[oxdaman]

Another chapter done! What is this, number 11? Well as I don't really have much to say about this chapter, other than how it's shaping to be a lot like a love comedy. One guy and a bunch of girls who have the hots for him in one way or another. This is shaping up to be another Love Hina!

I also feel that this story is really funny compared to the others. A lot of times I reenact lines that are said in a conversation if I find it to be funny like a comedian. What had me for a minute was how Gluttony revealed that the contracting department took some tips from the Mafia.

One to the next part of this love comedy from hell!

[oxdaman]

And the love comedy in hell continues! Not much to say with this one except that I love the way you devised Greed's office! Only other description of hell I really enjoyed was when I played through Dante's Inferno.

Can't wait to see the other offices, since that's where this Act seems to be leading to!

[SoylentOrange]

I gotta say, Ox, it's been a real treat to see all these rapid-fire reviews. Thanks a bunch for all the great comments! ^____^d

[oxdaman]

Glad to help. I can't decide which one of the stories is my favorite. There's the rapid-fire suspense of Mary's Story, then there's the creative and interesting Sid and the Girls, and then there's the curiosity of what the next night will bring for the Working Girl at Juggalos!

Can't wait to see more!

[BioYuGi]

Well, I said I was going to comment on this story since it was my favorite, so I figured I'd start from the beginning. So, this refers to Chapter 1, or the first two story posts here. And I'm trying to review solely chapter by chapter, and as if there aren't any pictures (awesome though they are), so I can try and critique the writing more fairly.

Now, first off I have to say they were characterized very well. Obviously, since they are personifications of sins, they have a pretty well-established sense of personality. However, they didn't feel flat, (especially Lust (sorry, I'm terrible)), they all felt like they could just be human characters with their motivations set to an intense, although not entirely unrealistic level. I also liked how you gave their descriptions bits and pieces at a time, mentioning details here and there, instead of writing full long descriptions for them each time a character showed up. If the chapter introduced just one or two characters I think that method would be fine, but since so many were introduced, your way was the way to go. Although Lust I think got a bit shafted in her description this chapter, as far as her more unique details.

You also did a fair job building the place in which they live. Not just the small details like the sofa and the collection of viewing tools in Envy's room, but with the way you described where rooms where, how there was a railing on the second floor, etc, it all seemed to fit together well. And, here's something I really liked. As soon as we see/hear of Pride, we know she's the leader. All because Wrath, who up to this point had been boisterous and aggressive, was actively trying to be polite and reasonable. That spoke volumes about the respect/fear she had for her.

Then we get to what they do, which I would have liked to hear more of. At least as far as how often they do it (Wrath says they do it all the time, but considering their immortal nature, once a year could be considered common for her), or what value tempted souls hold to them. But, still, it's a very interesting hook, and that makes me want to read more, which is excellent.

[SoylentOrange]

Hallelujah!

Can't wait to see more, Bio. Thanks! ^_^