Human to Alien Story - The new Gloob

[Gobosan1]

but where's deh boobehs?!
kupo

[Katt]

Originally Posted by Gobosan1

but where's deh boobehs?!
kupo

My thoughts exactly.

[Gobosan1]

outstanding
*fondles ava*
kupo
they bounce!
beautiful!

[Dawn_of_the_roundtree]

Vengeance1701… You ask do I honestly want constructive criticism?

Yes… Simply yes I want constructive criticism… However Dictionary.com explains constructive criticism as, “Criticism or advice that is useful and intended to help or improve something, often with an offer of possible solutions…” (You can also look it up on the Wikipedia)

Again I’m just quoting what others have provided and sorry if this further insults them…

lampy’s response seemed to indicate that he/she failed to understand the concept that possible alien biology is different from human biology… using Star Trek as an example, it would be like someone asking “Why do Klingon's have those lumps on their foreheads.” (And that’s not done because it’s just accepted that’s how Klingon's appear, so is it too far fetched to believe a Gloob, a fictional construct in a sci-fi story might look the way they do…)

Oh yes at the root of it, this wasn’t constructive criticism, then again it wasn’t criticism… it was just a failure to understand, and not caused by my writing.

JONJONAUG: again not constructive criticism, there is no reasoning for why this person thinks my art is mediocre or why he thinks my writing style is bad.. The only thing that has been said here that is of any use is “needs a lot of editing and revision.” But again I ask and I hate to do this but what needs editing… there must be certain points that are the worst, things that the person could have taken the time to point out so I could fix them…

Dr. Otto: Well I should apologize to you, you might be right that I used the term "Smiling Lea't" too many times (this is constructive criticism…) However if this is the single complain with my work does it really ruin it or are you expecting too much form me… Anyway you don’t need to answer this, it’s just a matter for thought.

transformative: Thank you, for both taking the time to respond to my response and tell me that, that phrase repeated over again was your problem and thank you for pointing out there were some positives to my story.


Okay back to you Vengeance1701, again I reiterate, yes I do want constructive criticism, but constructive is the key word and as addition criticism should be based on merit not on someone’s personal taste… If something is based around someone’s personal taste it should be said like, “I didn’t really like this because it wasn’t a topic I liked…” and never, “This sucked” or “This blew…”

Maybe the moderators of this site should look into encouraging people who are going to comment to observe what I have said about so you can allow what’s left of your writers and artists who you don’t borrow from other sources to know what is personal views and what is useful comments.


Dawn.

P.S. Seeing I now consider due to the nature of this thread that any work I could post to this site would be tainted… I have decided not to waste my own time or your’s by posting my crap here…

Oh and just so nobody jumps down my throat when I used the term borrow in the phrase, “borrow from other sources” I don’t mean stealing, I mean some of the work on this site is posted direct and some of the stuff comes from other sources, I suggesting you reform posting rules so that for the local posts, there is a way to define personal views from useful comments

Yes I know reforming things seem like hard work but maybe in the end such changes will make a better site for all and a site where artists / writers will be abundant once more.

[TemptressMezrah]

Hmm... A Response from ANYONE would have fucking been nice?! Is she RIGHT or is she WRONG?! Yes ? No? Hello? Is all that you guys see wrong with her work a SINGLE overused phrase and that her English is a little different than that in America because... well... she's not from the US? The fact she uses ENGLISH, which came from britain, rather than use 'American' which is more a bastardization of the language? C'mon... it's not THAT different so you guys SHOULD be able to read it jsut fine anyway....

But the final points: Is that ALL you guys see as wrong? A single overused phrase, and a slightly different set of english?

I don't suppose it's much of a help now, but I would really like to offer an apology on behalf of the denizens of this here site.
I really am sorry that you feel any future posted work would be seen in a different light due to the conversations which have occured through this thread.
I think perhaps those who give feedback often don't realise the way that it is taken by the artist and although this probably doesn't make you feel any better, I'm sure that nobody intended the tone their comments may have been read with.
I hope that you'll be able to put all of this behind you and continue posting on this site, because although i still can't in my bumbling way open the file, I'd love to see some of your work.

[transformative]

me 2 i'd love 2 c some more of ur work, it's gr8

[Vengeance1701]

Originally Posted by TemptressMezrah

Hmm... A Response from ANYONE would have fucking been nice?! Is she RIGHT or is she WRONG?! Yes ? No? Hello? Is all that you guys see wrong with her work a SINGLE overused phrase and that her English is a little different than that in America because... well... she's not from the US? The fact she uses ENGLISH, which came from britain, rather than use 'American' which is more a bastardization of the language? C'mon... it's not THAT different so you guys SHOULD be able to read it jsut fine anyway....

But the final points: Is that ALL you guys see as wrong? A single overused phrase, and a slightly different set of english?

Honestly, in the discussions I've seen regarding her work, any contrary opinion which doesn't completely agree with her own views of her work is met with scorn and quite frankly, insulting language from the artist in question.

That's probably why people don't respond to her anymore.

People are more likely to respond to someone who wasn't always on the defensive regarding their work.

[Mitchell]

I don't see many problems with it. It needs a proofread thanks to some issues with capitalization and word choice, but that's the kind of thing better gone over in private. Examples include the "Cesta five, eight" choice of describing them, which not only needs Cesta Five, possibly even Eight, capitalized, but is also...awkward.

[Dawn_of_the_roundtree]

Mitchell: Thank you very much for your comments, they were really helpful and informative.

I guess starting next year when I start writing again I should resume proofing, that might solve some of the problems with my work.

Well thank you again, and if there are more issues you want to inform me of please feel free to contact me via E-mail or PM and I will listen to what you have to say.

[Esquire]

Originally Posted by Dawn_of_the_roundtree

lampy?s response seemed to indicate that he/she failed to understand the concept that possible alien biology is different from human biology? using Star Trek as an example, it would be like someone asking ?Why do Klingon's have those lumps on their foreheads.? (And that?s not done because it?s just accepted that?s how Klingon's appear,

Actually, the Original Series Klingons didn't have ridges. The Movie Klingons onward did. That question was asked, and apparently Paramount themselves have no real answer.

http://www.startrek.com/startrek/vie...icle/1614.html

[jaimehlers]

As others have said, there are a lot of errors (spelling, punctuation, capitalization). I suspect the main reason for the brevity of the comments is, simply, because it would take too long to go through the document and find them all. For example, I read fast, so I could read the entire story in ten minutes. However, to go through and find all the errors takes much longer - it would probably take me at least an hour on a document without many errors. For this one, probably two or three times as long, because there's so many repeated errors in it.

So, some general suggestions. First, use a spellchecker. Even though the document itself is in Adobe, I would be very surprised if you didn't have a text document somewhere. If you don't, make one and put your text in there, then spellcheck it.

Second, always capitalize names. For example, "Earth" not "earth", and "Apple Star" not "apple star".

Third, look for natural breaks in a sentence and use punctuation marks there.

Fourth, don't use ten words where five will suffice. That's the real source of "too wordy" or "too many words". If you can explain something with less words, do so. It makes it easier to read.

Finally, even making allowances for different date formats depending on the country, I'm pretty sure that when you refer to a date, you always write a number for the day rather than writing the number out. So, you write 2 instead of two.