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01-11-2018 | #1 |
Frequent Poster
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 132
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Once in a Blood Moon TF Scene
Here's a little werewolf TF scene I whipped up for a story called Once in a Blood Moon. This scene may or may not be used so please give me some honest feedback. It's very much appreciated.
https://mark-of-the-wolf.deviantart....cene-725006020 |
01-11-2018 | #2 | |
Process Master
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 724
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Re: Once in a Blood Moon TF Scene
Okay, honest feedback, here are some things to consider:
One thing I try to do when I write is picture the story as a screenplay and then edit out any dialogue that might seem superfluous. Tara is talking to herself throughout the transformation (eg. "Are my nails growing? This can't be real!") but a lot of that dialogue isn't necessary and would seem odd if it were in a screenplay. Something like, "she watched in disbelief as her nails grew" would suffice. Just as a challenge to yourself, I'd recommend writing a TF story (or just a vignette, anyway) with no dialogue whatsoever. Describe your character's thoughts but avoid quotation marks at all costs. I think it would probably flow much better. Another thing to consider: Quote:
Anyway, the story has potential. I think it's great when TF fans contribute and share their own works, and I hope you continue to do so.
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Shameless self-promotion: http://www.furaffinity.net/user/amahain/ |
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01-12-2018 | #3 | |
Frequent Poster
Join Date: Feb 2016
Posts: 132
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Re: Once in a Blood Moon TF Scene
Quote:
As for those of you asking about tail growth or lack thereof, well, my specialty is feet not tails. |
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01-11-2018 | #4 |
Frequent Poster
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 396
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Re: Once in a Blood Moon TF Scene
Why no tail?
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01-12-2018 | #5 |
Tail Growin'
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: nowhere
Posts: 179
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Re: Once in a Blood Moon TF Scene
yeah why no tail?? :/
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