01-18-2015 | #1 |
Process Fan
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 56
|
New eBook novel: HE'S STUCK AS A SCHOOLGIRL
Hi folks! I've just published He's Stuck as a Schoolgirl: A Novel of Transgender Sugar and Spice. It's my second full-length novel following The Man Who Became 1000 Bimbos, and I had a blast exploring what it would really be like for an average guy to suddenly find himself stuck as a pretty 8-year-old girl with pigtails. If you like a fun TG age regression story, I bet you'll really enjoy this book! Here's the promo copy: Joe Withers is a wanna-be warlock, and when he loses his job he decides to get revenge by transforming his boss into a cute little redheaded schoolgirl. Unfortunately, Joe turns himself into a girl instead... and now he's the one who's going back to school. The other girls bully him, the boys have crushes on him, his big brother treats him like a kid and he even has to take sex ed class again! And if Joe doesn't figure out how to change back soon, he'll be stuck as Josie forever. Mindi Flyth's new novel is a twisted comedy, a drama, a supernatural tale and a transgender adventure, capturing all the confusion, terror, frustration and fun of Joe's age regression transformation. Life as a little girl isn't all sugar, spice and everything nice! (60,000+ words including an author's afterword about the book's creation. This book contains some mature language and is not intended for younger readers. Find more of Mindi Flyth's work at Mindiflyth.blogspot.com.) CLICK HERE to read He's Stuck as a Schoolgirl: A Novel of Transgender Sugar and Spice. And just for fun, here's a short promo video. Last edited by Mindi Flyth; 01-19-2015 at 04:29 PM. Reason: Slight tweak of promo copy. |
01-19-2015 | #2 |
"My way of thanking you"
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 401
|
Re: New eBook novel: HE'S STUCK AS A SCHOOLGIRL
A pretty enjoyable story overall. The main issues were lack of proper world building. You've obviously got quite a few magic users running around in your story and you could have done quite a bit more with explaining out what they do and some of the other terms and such surrounding them. Of course your narrator was seemingly pretty unconcerned with such things but he/she did seem to have some passing familiarity with them, so it would've been nice to see a little bit more of the magic rules in the story rather then dealing purely with your characters transformation. Would have made it a bit more sophisticated then just a TG/AR story and that would have only made it feel a bit more fleshed out.
Another minor problem was that your initial time jump after the transformation was a bit unfair. The setup of getting into school and all could have used a bit more detail. How you handled it felt like you shorted the story out of possibly an initial few chapters. Again, just could have used some more setup and explanation. Perhaps a bit of magic to better create an identity before the books were stolen away or something. Another little problem was the endings. I didn't understand why Joe felt she was in the wrong body when at the end of the story she realized she was accepting the body as her own. And yet when she went back to school the next day she still was saying she wasn't in the right gender and in the right body...even though just the last bit was accepting that she was who she was meant to be. That seemed very odd and didn't really chain together properly. Kind of cheapened the rest of the story to have her not trying to be a little more accepting of everything. As to the ending +5-7 years epilogue...I think you'd have been better off without that. Kind of closed too many options in my head for where I'd think the story would have gone. Think less would have been more there and you shouldn't have had that epilogue. Another one around the same ages where they're learning witchcraft together and stuff would have been a better ending point to that. Overall I'd give it a 3.5 out of 5 stars for the price I paid for it. As a free story it'd be about 4.5 out of 5. Was a good story though and I'd encourage people to give it a shot, but there were quite a few spots where you could have pushed it to be a bit better. I did enjoy it though and I don't regret my purchase. Last edited by frice2000; 01-19-2015 at 07:42 PM. |
01-19-2015 | #3 |
Process Fan
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 56
|
Re: New eBook novel: HE'S STUCK AS A SCHOOLGIRL
Thanks for a lengthy and thoughtful review. Some interesting observations.
There are other witches and warlocks out there, but they're not too common and they try to keep it underground. Joe knows magic is real and he can do some magic using stuff he learns in old books, but he is doing it all on his own, he is not naturally skilled and he is impatient and kind of lazy. He has always longed to meet other magic users, and he's never found them. But they are out there. (SPOILERS AHEAD) It may be that as a transgender person myself, it's easier for me to sympathize with Joe's eventual feelings about his gender than it would be for some people who don't identify as transgender. (I'm assuming you don't, but please feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.) By the end of the story Joe considers himself a grown man and a young girl, simultaneously. He is not completely one or the other, and he is OK with that. That comfortable flip back and forth we see, of Joe acting like a girl or a grown man as it suits him, seems like a healthy development to me. When Joe tells Coach Mungo he is not a "normal" little girl and he calls himself transgender, he is telling the truth. He is an adult/child man/girl, at peace with himself. I could've ended it with Joe and Tammy in middle school, learning magic, but the flash forward 5 years was to show how Joe grows and how everybody changes around him. Joe is kind of a teenage rebel, but he is also focused on growing up right this time. Tammy is very comfortable with her sexuality and she seems like a good person still, but she has become a rather mischievous and even arrogant young witch. Ben and Katie have basically become Joe's parents, and they love him but it's a struggle. We get some idea of where everybody is headed with their lives, and we see that they still have troubles but things seem to be working out. It's about as close as I ever get to a happy ending! I'd be interested what other fates you imagined for the characters. If you feel like my ending closed things off, where would see it going instead? Last edited by Mindi Flyth; 01-19-2015 at 10:43 PM. Reason: Typo correction |
01-20-2015 | #4 | ||||
"My way of thanking you"
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 401
|
Re: New eBook novel: HE'S STUCK AS A SCHOOLGIRL
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
Also Joe obviously wasn't as powerful right? So her having to get used to the idea that Tammy has more natural ability and that effecting their friendship in any particular way could have been a nice chapter on its own or in fact its own story. Lots of expandable possibilities there and I wouldn't mind seeing a sequel with them both practicing their magic and perhaps being responsible for doing something to someone else in perhaps the freshmen year of High School or something where these issues are addressed with maybe a new victim, or someone doing something along the lines of what Joe did to himself and those two trying to help the person. Generally more Joe and Tammy interaction would have been great. That was one of the best pieces of the novel, and it would have been very nice to see more of them. Quote:
Unless you wanted a sequel I didn't like the closing things off from wherever readers imaginations wanted to wander. Yeah, I can see how it was sort of a 'happy' ending, but in the genre you're writing which is supposed to be all about fantasy and sort of putting yourself in the characters shoes closing off possibilities with an ending probably isn't the best decision as people want to put their own ideas of what happens in the end rather then your own as it is for much of your target audience something they would love happening to them. Last edited by frice2000; 01-20-2015 at 12:12 PM. |
||||
01-20-2015 | #5 |
Process Fan
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 56
|
Re: New eBook novel: HE'S STUCK AS A SCHOOLGIRL
SPOILERS:
That's very strange. You established a magic/herb shop that obviously has ingredients for spells some of the magic users need. There are magic supply stores in the real world, places where you buy powdered wolfsbane. That's the kind of place Joe goes to, but few if any of the customers are doing real magic. The book establishes that there are plenty of people doing little made up spells, calling themselves witches. (Just like in our world.) But the real magic users keep it quiet, and don't want to be found. They don't want the wanna-be's getting access to real spells. The whole narrative seemed to be about accepting the part of him that really liked being that, and then in the end he didn't move much further down that acceptance path. He ends the book wearing makeup, fishnets and a lacy black dress with a low neckline, by choice. He gives his brother little kisses and freely says he loves him. He is excited about being a lesbian. Joe is happy to be a hybrid, embracing his new womanhood while not giving up the better parts of the man he used to be. Why'd they turn away from just doing whatever? When the book begins Joe is arrogant and only cares about power, but as it goes on he sees that black magic is dangerous and unpredictable. (It also requires consorting with the dark gods, who we can assume are not nice folks.) When he rejects the black magic spell that could change him back, he is rejecting the kind of magic he used to do. He also gives it up for Tammy's sake. Tammy has a dark side of her own and dabbles in black magic as she grows up, and Joe works to keep her from getting into that stuff. We don't get into what white witchcraft is, but obviously it's much more benign. Joe is determined to be a good person now. I thought about them becoming models when they grew up, and that possibility exists if readers want to imagine it. (But for now they are busy going to school, going to parties and learning white magic. That's a pretty full plate for a growing girl!) I leave open what happens when they grow up. The reader knows where they are at age 15/16, but beyond that it's all left to your imagination. Last edited by Mindi Flyth; 01-20-2015 at 05:29 PM. Reason: Typos galore! |
01-21-2015 | #6 |
Just a wanderer
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Montreal, Canada
Posts: 2,073
|
Re: New eBook novel: HE'S STUCK AS A SCHOOLGIRL
Off-topic question, but do you get a lot of hits on your stories? I want to publish my own, but mine are in a different niche.
__________________
Follow my ongoing story, 'Upon a Star', on DeviantArt: http://medierth.deviantart.com/ "In this egotistic world in which we live in, it is sometimes to wonder if we shouldn't be like mirrors for others to deem us worthy to be looked at." - 'Le Chat' |
01-21-2015 | #7 |
Process Fan
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 56
|
Re: New eBook novel: HE'S STUCK AS A SCHOOLGIRL
They sell well enough that I'm paying my rent doing this, but I work damn hard to keep producing new content, to promote the stuff I publish and to try and improve my writing and promotion with every novel or short story. When I'm not writing, I'm promoting. When I'm not writing or promoting, I'm thinking about writing and promoting. I love it, but it's a lot of work.
So, it's hard for me to predict what kind of response you'd get. This is how it's been working for me. Last edited by Mindi Flyth; 01-23-2015 at 11:29 PM. Reason: Typo |
Tags |
age regression, m2f, male to female, schoolgirl, transgender |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|