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Unread 02-12-2017   #13
LK
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Re: New EBook: "Scale Model"

I should just pay you to write a story where a woman is just trying to get through her day as she shrinks throughout. Fully aware she starts the day six feet tall and ends it at four, wears chunky platform booties to throw people off and make it less obvious later on, just super mundane stuff made interesting because of details like Doll provided.

Day In The Life or something.
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Unread 02-12-2017   #14
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Re: New EBook: "Scale Model"

God the costume design on some thing like that would be an engineering project in itself. Outfits designed for women afflicted with Size Flux, as it is commonly known. Having to live in secret because if anyone knew, she would become a spectacle. It would be like reading Co stantine or something who has to make a daily effort to keep their world hidden from the rest of us.
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Unread 02-12-2017   #15
qzar9999
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Re: New EBook: "Scale Model"

Doll - as a former contacts wearer myself, I'm just picturing how uncomfortable that would be when they started stretching and shifting. Especially if she shrunk kinda fast. And if nothing else, she'd be at high risk of losing them constantly.

LK - Ya know, you might be on to something there...
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Unread 02-12-2017   #16
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Re: New EBook: "Scale Model"

Nobody has done that. Managing a shrinking condition like a secret identity out of self-preservation. THAT fantastic scenario has some grounding in The Real.

Little details about her day would matter. She always wakes up at the same time and sleeps the same amount. Otherwise her size would destabalize. Something to do with her metabolism. The minute she wakes up, she starts a timer tied to her Fitbit or something which measure caloric burn and turns that into a realtime height display. Alarms sound at certain heights telling her "Hey, it's time to ditch the skirt," etc. Putting tissues in the toes of her boots.

People in her life are slotted into certain times / sizes in her day. The schedulr management alone! It would have to be exhausting to her or anxiety-provoking at any deviation. There is no larger narrative or stakes. It's just a tale of someone's routine dealing with a troublesome condition that she wants to keep private
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Unread 02-12-2017   #17
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Re: New EBook: "Scale Model"

I can certainly see the potential in this idea. Could be fun to write!

Well, I'm always game for a commission, if you ever decide to go for it.
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Unread 02-12-2017   #18
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Re: New EBook: "Scale Model"

Ha I never thought about how EVERYTHING inorganic to the shrink might not shrink with me. Not sure it would even be that sexy, if makeup would itch, smear, crack, and flake? Thinking about contacts "growing" in your eye sounds uncomfortable. Glasses growing in your hand seems a better easy contrast. But those are very interesting levels of detail. But it would depend on the kind of magic being used, on a story level. I loved the way qzar described the jewelry getting too big in his story "Take my breath away." The hoop earrings getting too big, and finally touching her shoulders. Good stuff.
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Unread 02-12-2017   #19
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Re: New EBook: "Scale Model"

I will say that I covered my bases in this one. There's a reason that her outfit doesn't shrink with her, though I didn't explicitly state it.
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Unread 02-13-2017   #20
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Re: New EBook: "Scale Model"

Was there at any point a physical description of the character Paige? I mean, at least her height? The only thing I could tell you about the shoes were that they had chunky platforms, black, and with ankle straps, I think?

It seems like you emphasize the action of a scene over painting a picture with words in your writing. Objects are given very non-descript labels like redhead or child. Is it just me? I may be exagerrating but it can't be by that much..
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Unread 02-13-2017   #21
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Re: New EBook: "Scale Model"

It's possible that it slipped my mind a bit while writing this one. I'm usually a bit better at descriptions and stuff. I certainly feel like I did a fairly good job of it in Interview, for instance.

Truth be told, it took me a very long time to actually finish this one; I kept picking it up, writing a little bit, and putting it back down. I don't think I was bringing my "A" game, for whatever reason. It's entirely possible that details I'd usually cover may have escaped my notice. Don't get me wrong, I don't think it's bad or I wouldn't have released it. I just feel like I've done better.

As for the nondescript labels...that was on purpose, because I figured most people reading this story wouldn't care very much about what the gallery patrons looked like, ya know? lol

EDIT: Having gone back over the story...

Quote:
She flicked her eyes up and down Paige’s body, taking in the chunky platform heels, the sheer black hosiery and garters, the tight black miniskirt, the black-and-silver bustier, the studded black leather collar, and the elegantly coiffed, jet-black curls of her hair, done up in a fifties-style bouffant.
That, plus at least the suggestion Paige is busty, is about all there is. I actually remember why this happened now - I was basing her image on a picture that my patron sent to me. It's one of those "I have a clear picture in my head and don't realize it's not on the page" things. Something I usually catch, or a beta reader catches for me...
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Unread 02-14-2017   #22
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Re: New EBook: "Scale Model"

Ok, just saying. The reader will substitute missing detail but leaving out heights in a shrinking story? :P
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Unread 02-14-2017   #23
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Exclamation Re: New EBook: "Scale Model"

**WARNING: SHIT POST OPINION NOT DIRECTED AT ANYONE IN PARTICULAR INCOMING**

I will say this: one thing I hate, hate, HATE in a shrinking story is the mention of an exact height.

Like, it feels unnatural. If the shrinkee is of unusual height (either extremely tall or short), then it makes sense; if you're a few inches shy of five feet tall naturally, it makes sense to mention that you're very short, and vice versa if you're pushing seven feet tall. That's gonna color your world view.

However, if you're of relative normal height, then it shouldn't matter if you're 5'2 or 6'1; you're not thinking "I'm 5'3," you think, "I'm short." If I meet someone over six feet, I think "he's tall," not "he's 6'4."

I completely understand it from the fetish POV; it's easier to fantasize about the shrinking if there are concrete numbers to start with ("I'm now barely 18 inches tall... and I used to be 69!") That, along with other physical descriptions of the person, helps to build a description of the character that the author wants us to think about when the magic happens. Again, I get that.

What I don't like is how unnaturally it occurs.

If the character is tall, then introduce us to that character like someone would in real life; by asking ("How tall am I? Well, last time I checked, I was 6'7."). If short, then perhaps mention how they sometimes struggle to get anything above their heads at a grocery store ("I hate how they always put my favorite peanut butter on the top shelf! How the hell do they expect anyone under five feet to reach it?!"). It just doesn't gel organically for me to read a sentence like "The 5'7" 34D-26-36 woman was always having to fend would-be suitors off." Who thinks like that?

I guess what I'm saying is that most writers do a terrible job of including measurements into stories. Show me that the character is tall and curvy; don't tell me that she is.
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Unread 02-14-2017   #24
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Re: New EBook: "Scale Model"

I do agree that it often feels inorganic. But like you said, it's kind of a thing with this fetish. Lol

If there's one thing I like about writing comic scripts, it's that you get to show that without having to tell it.
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