[Very_Good_Karma]

I like this! The art is okay, and carries the story, but this is the first original transformation plot I've seen in years. Other pluses:

- The characterizing bit at the beginning really helped the story hold together, and was even a little funny.

- Lots of process, duh. The whole point of coming here.

- While characters narrating their own transformation can get really awkward, the blow-by-blow here is handled well and adds to rather than subtracts from the comic.

- The big third panel on page 10 sets up the last act of the story very well and gives a nice sense of the passage of time.

- A character who intentionally seeks out a transformation rather than just being a prop.

- Happy Ending! Woo!


Some things you might want to improve on:

- The faces. In some panels, they have been drawn waaay too hastily. I understand that this is a loose drawing style, but there is a level of distortion which just looks bad. The first panels of pages 10 and 12 are major offenders.

- Eye style. The characters' pupils come and go; it seems to be attempting to convey a wink sometimes, but other times it's not clear what it means. The all-white eyes came off as a little creepy in some panels. I'd recommend working on a wider range of expressions, especially a proper wink, and making pupils consistent unless it's associated with a complete character style-shift such as chibi.

I really enjoyed seeing this, and thank you for posting it on The Process!