Her every fantasy....(Story)

[CandyKing]

It's not a bad start, it's hard to fully judge it based on this small snippet but my only comment would be some of the dialogue is a little odd mainly because it progresses so quickly from scene to scene. Looking forward to what happens next, especially considering her personality seems on the playful/gentle end!

[Keile]

Originally Posted by CandyKing

It's not a bad start, it's hard to fully judge it based on this small snippet but my only comment would be some of the dialogue is a little odd mainly because it progresses so quickly from scene to scene. Looking forward to what happens next, especially considering her personality seems on the playful/gentle end!

Yeah, I put a few time-jumps in there to speed things along. Otherwise it really WOULD get long winded.