Two Friends, By Beetlebomb SG-MG Prt1

Mattariel · 12-15-2007

Dude, anyone who says that growth stories aren't welcome need to go kill themselves.

That was really good, although there are one or two points where there's some unnecessary emphasis on simple things, such as the;
"She told me to sit down on the couch and I did." segment, where it would have been easier to combine it with the next sentence, although keeping the emphasis on the tea since it's something linking to the way things were between them.

I look forward to seeing where this story goes.

12-15-2007	#4
Mattariel Supreme lurker Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 324	Dude, anyone who says that growth stories aren't welcome need to go kill themselves. That was really good, although there are one or two points where there's some unnecessary emphasis on simple things, such as the; "She told me to sit down on the couch and I did." segment, where it would have been easier to combine it with the next sentence, although keeping the emphasis on the tea since it's something linking to the way things were between them. I look forward to seeing where this story goes. __________________