Welcome to Juggalos [BE/Butt/hips Expansion]

Likalmor · 01-18-2011

A master at pulling the strings of the heart, that is what your work says to me. It takes a good writer to create plot twists that work well. It takes a master writer to create plot twists that catch the focused reader unaware. You fall in the latter catergory sir and the world, at least our little corner of it, is for the better because of it.

During this chapter I really felt you did a particuarly good job in Maddi's narration of the events during dinner. Normally her thought processes get a little repetitive when she thinks in regards to juggalos but both this time and in chapter 11 you seemed to offer a more deep level of Maddi's thinking than the surface thoughts of "I hate this perverted whorehouse and everything that it makes me do." Once again a compliment on the personality depth you give your main characters, they are real easy to like and symapthise with, no matter their quirks or maybe because of them.

i am really looking forward to the next chapter as this story really seeems to be developing now... please ignore that pun.

01-18-2011	#11
Likalmor Silent Wanderer Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 2	Re: Welcome to Juggalos [BE/Butt/hips Expansion] A master at pulling the strings of the heart, that is what your work says to me. It takes a good writer to create plot twists that work well. It takes a master writer to create plot twists that catch the focused reader unaware. You fall in the latter catergory sir and the world, at least our little corner of it, is for the better because of it. During this chapter I really felt you did a particuarly good job in Maddi's narration of the events during dinner. Normally her thought processes get a little repetitive when she thinks in regards to juggalos but both this time and in chapter 11 you seemed to offer a more deep level of Maddi's thinking than the surface thoughts of "I hate this perverted whorehouse and everything that it makes me do." Once again a compliment on the personality depth you give your main characters, they are real easy to like and symapthise with, no matter their quirks or maybe because of them. i am really looking forward to the next chapter as this story really seeems to be developing now... please ignore that pun.