New Story "Take It All In" by Clovis

clovis · 12-29-2016

Clovis!
Sorry for not giving a comment. You are doing amazing work.

-Thank you, I really appreciate your continued support.

Your story is awesome. In this particular chapter you banished a fear that I had of Dawn turning into a replica of the gross fat that is Etna.

-All along I have tried to use very different phrasing when describing the two women's growth. As is now apparent, their shapes are completely different. Etna is going through a massive weight gain, while Dawn is experiencing a bit of a hybrid body expansion/inflation.

Plus her roasting was very satisfying!

-I had a lot of fun writing that- this is also one of the reasons why Amber is in the story. While Dawn gets in a few choice remarks, I want to avoid making her seem mean spirited. Giving Amber most of the harsher comments keeps her a bit more pure.

One of the biggest questions I have is how Dawn is going to go about regular life once she's Etna size haha

-Dawn isn't really thinking ahead right now, she's living a fantasy.

Plus, I'm concerned for the love triangle! If it could be called a love triangle... maybe a crush triangle?

-I love the term "crush triangle," and do think that's a bit more appropriate in this case. Everyone's a bit caught up in the craziness of the night and that leads to loss of inhibition and experimentation.

Anyway.
I really like what you are doing here, and I know others like it to, regardless if they speak up or not. But I completely understand your frustration at the lack of speaking up.

-Thanks again, I am currently working on the next chapter.

Do you have any other place you post your work?

-This story is also being posted at the Dimensionsmagazine.com forum. If you go back to my first post on this thread you'll see a list of links to all my previous stories. I may eventually set up a deviant art page where the final edit of this story may reside as has been recommended by many

12-29-2016	#12
clovis Frequent Poster Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 139	Re: New Story "Take It All In" by Clovis Clovis! Sorry for not giving a comment. You are doing amazing work. *-Thank you, I really appreciate your continued support.* Your story is awesome. In this particular chapter you banished a fear that I had of Dawn turning into a replica of the gross fat that is Etna. -All along I have tried to use very different phrasing when describing the two women's growth. As is now apparent, their shapes are completely different. Etna is going through a massive weight gain, while Dawn is experiencing a bit of a hybrid body expansion/inflation. Plus her roasting was very satisfying! -I had a lot of fun writing that- this is also one of the reasons why Amber is in the story. While Dawn gets in a few choice remarks, I want to avoid making her seem mean spirited. Giving Amber most of the harsher comments keeps her a bit more pure. One of the biggest questions I have is how Dawn is going to go about regular life once she's Etna size haha *-Dawn isn't really thinking ahead right now, she's living a fantasy.* Plus, I'm concerned for the love triangle! If it could be called a love triangle... maybe a crush triangle? -I love the term "crush triangle," and do think that's a bit more appropriate in this case. Everyone's a bit caught up in the craziness of the night and that leads to loss of inhibition and experimentation. Anyway. I really like what you are doing here, and I know others like it to, regardless if they speak up or not. But I completely understand your frustration at the lack of speaking up. *-Thanks again, I am currently working on the next chapter.* Do you have any other place you post your work? -This story is also being posted at the Dimensionsmagazine.com forum. If you go back to my first post on this thread you'll see a list of links to all my previous stories. I may eventually set up a deviant art page where the final edit of this story may reside as has been recommended by many Last edited by clovis; 03-21-2017 at 01:35 PM.