Working on a BE Visual Novel, would like Feedback

nooneinparticular0 · 03-21-2020

So I tried my hand at creating a BE Visual Novel
here is my super rudimentary try:
PC Version: https://mega.nz/#!aYMhUYLa!ulA8_xzVk...Nt-jM7mhVQIHwU
Mac Version: https://mega.nz/#!yYFzFApR!alqECYzTp...Mt2Y2PYJxmLj6s

Abazaba · 03-24-2020

Maybe it is just my setup but the default volume is a bit loud. That said it looks fine for what is there. Then again the poser style comics is not my bag so I am not the best to judge the art/style. Might be a good idea to post your story/outline for it to see what people might say/add. Tho it seems to run well enough on my PC, but maybe a slider for the skip might also be helpful as it seems to go a bit too fast(for me at least). Also maybe a end card since it is a work in progress, and the abrupt end was a tad off putting. For a second I thought the game broke and reset. I am assuming the save functions are for a later time when there will be choices and a branching story? Possibly a unlocking art gallery for the process bits as you unlock them? Those things said it is a good start.

nooneinparticular0 · 03-24-2020

Quote:

Originally Posted by Abazaba

Maybe it is just my setup but the default volume is a bit loud. That said it looks fine for what is there. Then again the poser style comics is not my bag so I am not the best to judge the art/style. Might be a good idea to post your story/outline for it to see what people might say/add. Tho it seems to run well enough on my PC, but maybe a slider for the skip might also be helpful as it seems to go a bit too fast(for me at least). Also maybe a end card since it is a work in progress, and the abrupt end was a tad off putting. For a second I thought the game broke and reset. I am assuming the save functions are for a later time when there will be choices and a branching story? Possibly a unlocking art gallery for the process bits as you unlock them? Those things said it is a good start.

Oh no, all of that is coming, I'm working on adding that stuff. What I have now is the barest of the bare bones. I do think an art gallery is a good idea, and while I don't think I'll do branching paths, I think I'll have the player able to switch from character to character.

I'm also thinking about starting a small patreon to help continue this work.

laxu · 03-26-2020

Hey I liked it!
The writing could use a little streamlining but what's there is fun!
You should put it on F95zone and/or TFgamesite if you want more people to see it

nooneinparticular0 · 03-27-2020

Quote:

Originally Posted by laxu

Hey I liked it!
The writing could use a little streamlining but what's there is fun!
You should put it on F95zone and/or TFgamesite if you want more people to see it

I really want to, but I don't see the option open for me on either website. I think I don't have enough forum posts yet! Although I did it on the development forum and breast expansion thread on those websites.

ragnarok385 · 04-05-2020

It's definitely a good start. A little touch up on the sound and the text alternating between capital and lowercase letters wouldn't go amiss. Really like the premise and looking forward to more.

03-21-2020	#1
nooneinparticular0 Leecher Join Date: Jun 2015 Posts: 7	Working on a BE Visual Novel, would like Feedback So I tried my hand at creating a BE Visual Novel here is my super rudimentary try: PC Version: https://mega.nz/#!aYMhUYLa!ulA8_xzVk...Nt-jM7mhVQIHwU Mac Version: https://mega.nz/#!yYFzFApR!alqECYzTp...Mt2Y2PYJxmLj6s

03-24-2020	#2
Abazaba Frequent Poster Join Date: May 2005 Location: Long Beach CA Posts: 346	Re: Working on a BE Visual Novel, would like Feedback Maybe it is just my setup but the default volume is a bit loud. That said it looks fine for what is there. Then again the poser style comics is not my bag so I am not the best to judge the art/style. Might be a good idea to post your story/outline for it to see what people might say/add. Tho it seems to run well enough on my PC, but maybe a slider for the skip might also be helpful as it seems to go a bit too fast(for me at least). Also maybe a end card since it is a work in progress, and the abrupt end was a tad off putting. For a second I thought the game broke and reset. I am assuming the save functions are for a later time when there will be choices and a branching story? Possibly a unlocking art gallery for the process bits as you unlock them? Those things said it is a good start.

03-26-2020	#4
laxu Leecher Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 1	Re: Working on a BE Visual Novel, would like Feedback Hey I liked it! The writing could use a little streamlining but what's there is fun! You should put it on F95zone and/or TFgamesite if you want more people to see it

04-05-2020	#6
ragnarok385 Lurker Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 18	Re: Working on a BE Visual Novel, would like Feedback It's definitely a good start. A little touch up on the sound and the text alternating between capital and lowercase letters wouldn't go amiss. Really like the premise and looking forward to more.