New Woot sequence - Page 5

SoylentOrange · 02-21-2007

That is some quality BE right there. I can't wait to see how these two end up. (Hopefully in 20 more chapters or so.

)

02-21-2007

I liked her better with the big belly...
It looked so squishy and cute...

SoylentOrange · 02-21-2007

I'm sure you'll see said big belly again, depending on when she gets thirsty again...

Asmodeus · 02-22-2007

she still has a small belly right now tho...
awesome work

malhavoc · 02-23-2007

Another update on this magnificent sequence. No story posted yet.

Quadhouse · 02-24-2007

Story is now posted.

Murasashi · 03-01-2007

Bump, for the next page is up...Not sure what to say of it, doesn't appear to have any text at the moment...

humble.fool · 03-01-2007

It is I, owner of http://woot.iiichan.net, here to, uh, explain things...

I had to switch domains (mostly just abandon humblefool.net) for personal reasons. iiichan.net should be permanent, however. Also, I've added the ability to leave comments on the pictures in the gallery there, so you can give feedback on all of woot's great works, not just the ones on the oekaki (we think we'v got them all there, but you never know.)

Very_Good_Karma · 03-02-2007

I should have checked out this thread earlier. I should have been willing to open my eyes to new things, willing to click on links not knowing where they would go. I have... I have missed so much. I have been remiss in not seeking out those worthy of praise and giving them their due.

Woot, you are become the prophet of the twin gods Sexy & Awesome.

(I think they're screwing each other. I think they're screwing each other while looking at your work- I think they're screwing eachother as a result of looking at your work.)

Milk & Cookies is the best Breast Expansion-related work I have ever seen on the internet, or anywhere else. That's subjective of course- you're just happening to be using an almost perfect combination of all the elements I like best- but still. Wow.

It happened that I tried to make a peanut butter sandwich for lunch sometime after first reading your sequence. I couldn't look directly at the peanut butter. I had to come back and write this.

How does Milk & Cookies Sextacularly Awesomocitate? Let me count the ways:

1) CHARACTERS! Andrea and Jess have names and personalities. Hints are given to establish their lives outside of this story. Every picture does an excellent job of conveying their emotions, and the narative brings them alive with believeable thoughts and desires. What dialogue there is is well written.

2) ROMANCE! Andrea and Jess know each other well, but still get to learn more about one another. They are concerned both about their past and future together. They have deep emotional needs as well as physical ones. They actually like eachother, personally, something that pathetically few sexual parteners in any medium of porn ever seem to do. The plot is as much about the personal obstacles to them being together as it is about Andrea's growth.

3) SAPPHOEROTICISM! Quiet a word, eh? I wish I got to use it more. The sexual tension between Andrea and Jess is so thick it could be used as a personal lubricant. Both characters' deep sexual desire for one another is all the richer for the conflicts you have given them; and yet you've managed this while completely avoiding the actual issue of homosexuality. Andrea's speeches are worthy of the poetess herself.

4) PACING! Good god I get tired of seeing characters already sweat-soaked and fucking away in full-page panels by the second page of a story. Tension takes time to build, and not many artist/authors are willing to take their time and create the extra content. On the other hand, there are story authors who have no problem with writing a fifteen-chapter novella in which the BE happens at the end of chapter fourteen, and chapter fifteen is all epilogue. You've managed to give us sixteen solid pages of smut so far, developing your characters all the while, and yet still holding something huge in reserve to keep us checking back for more every day.

5) ART! It should go without saying, yet I must say it still! Your anatomy is excellent considering how big you draw your girls, which isn't easy to do. Your poses are natural, your facial expressions are clear and very appropriate. Every picture does a wonderful job of conveying emotion and making the characters come alive. You do an outstanding job with clothes. Your backgrounds are simple enough that they don't distract from the subject, yet they capably indicate setting.

6) DESCRIPTIVE NARRATIVE! Your talent for writing this sort of stuff is more than equal to your talent for drawing it, and that's a tremendous combination. You've applyied alliterative adjectives abundantly, and every paragraph is bursting with juicy chunks of description. Pupils are dilated, mouths are busy, breasts are soft, and peanut butter has a rich, roasted aroma.

7) PROCESS! Slow change is hard to show smoothly, and you're doing it superbly. One thing that strikes me is that so far ALL the transformation has been off-stage, but your excellent balance of pictures and narrative means that we've always been seeing the best parts. I believe that a very important and often overlooked aspect of transformation is Mental Process. Generally artists end their transformations with the subject either appalled, artificially giddy, or totally reformatted mentally. It's uncommon, even in stories, that we get to see a transformation subject fully progress through the five stages of acceptance into that glorious sixth stage of "I love my new body!" But you've shown us Andrea growing inside as well as out, and that is by far the best thing about Milk & Cookies.

I have one complaint.

The sixteenth picture, of Andrea in the bathrobe, is the third picture in a row of Andrea with an unhappy look on her face. This is running contrary to the narrative, which has made it clear that at this point Andrea is quite happy with herself. I understand that the picture is meant to correspond with Andrea's reaction to Jess's lukewarm response to the sight of the new her, but three unhappy Andrea pictures in a row is killing the mood you've built up.

I don't know how strongly you feel about redundancy, but considering the overall level of quality you've hit so far, I think this scene REALLY deserves two separate pictures of Andrea before we see whatever it is that Jess is hiding. One of her presenting herself to Andrea, enamoured with her new measurements- say, striking a pose at the end of that twirl.

You could go ahead and leave the 'Pensive Andrea' as the second picture, but part of what makes this scene so powerful is Andrea's anger, and frankly that isn't coming through in this snapshot- it looks like you've chosen the moment of her realization that something is wrong, which doesn't do the story justice. She's not saying anything, and even though Jess is off-panel, Andrea appears to be looking off to the side rather than making eye-contact with her. I strongly feel that a picture of Andrea looking directly at the off-panel Jess while verbally confronting her would do a much better job of conveying what's passing between them.

You could put the happy, posing Andrea as picture sixteen, cutting off the narrative after "There was a wrongness about the situation that she coudn't pinpoint." Then make the speaking Andrea picture seventeen, and pick up with "Yeah, I really do. You look good.", and then just end the narrative where sixteen ends now and do the next installment however you were already planning.

Again, everything about your work is spectacular. I apologize for nitpicking like this but I really think this change would make a huge positive difference. Thank you so much for pouring all the time, effort, craft, and love into this work that you already have, and I'll be waiting excitedly to see what you turn out next.

Murasashi · 03-02-2007

Wow. Thats a long post.

w_oo_t · 03-02-2007

Long indeed, but more importantly, well thought out.

I'm glad you're liking the series as you pointed out in points 1 through 7. I'd like to comment on just a few of those

3) I love learning new words. I looked up Sappho in the dictionary and it said "early 6th century B.C.; Gr. lyric poet of Lesbos" which makes her sound AWESOME!

7) The off stage nature of the process so far is tied to the method (essentially food) being a slow one. Andrea gets a bellyfull of milk, and her body shuts down for two or three days so it can distribute it all. This cycle leaves Jessica a lot of time to herself to think, eat, second-guess, and worry.

The complaint you bring up is valid. By this point Andrea is comfortable and happy with her body, but #14 was showing her yelp at the icy water, #15 doing battle with her pants, and #16 deflating after her friend's nonplussed reaction, realizing something was up. Its funny because I was about to submit #16 with a wide grin, but as I thought more and more about the scene ahead I decided a somber expression would be a better fit.

I wish there was a way to insert a new story and image and bump this segment up to #17. The new #16 would be a fluff bit centered on Andrea in the bathroom drying off from her shower.

Actually I know how I could do it but it involves repainting the current 16 to post as 17, then repainting (wholly replacing) the current 16 and writing the new story to go with it as a comment. Confusing eh?

SoylentOrange · 03-04-2007

Just to let everyone know, woot went ahead and inserted a new #16, making the already-posted #16, #17.

02-22-2007	#52
Asmodeus Sinner Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Holland, gasp! Posts: 192	she still has a small belly right now tho... awesome work __________________ To make a sig or not to make a sig....that is... wait...

02-23-2007	#53
malhavoc Greenskin Imp Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: WHERE AM I?! Posts: 837	Another update on this magnificent sequence. No story posted yet. __________________ "Oi! Is it forcey-funtime yet?"

02-24-2007	#54
Quadhouse Frequent Poster Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 169	Story is now posted. __________________ I have stories on deviantart: https://www.deviantart.com/quadhouse Fur Affinity: http://www.furaffinity.net/user/quadhouse/ Tumblr: https://quadhouse.tumblr.com/ Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/user/Quadhouse Please support my Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Quadhouse

03-01-2007	#56
humble.fool Rubber Band Man Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 320	It is I, owner of http://woot.iiichan.net, here to, uh, explain things... I had to switch domains (mostly just abandon humblefool.net) for personal reasons. iiichan.net should be permanent, however. Also, I've added the ability to leave comments on the pictures in the gallery there, so you can give feedback on all of woot's great works, not just the ones on the oekaki (we think we'v got them all there, but you never know.) __________________ My Homepage.

03-02-2007	#57
Very_Good_Karma Likes Happy Endings Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 188	Sextacular Awesomocity I should have checked out this thread earlier. I should have been willing to open my eyes to new things, willing to click on links not knowing where they would go. I have... I have missed so much. I have been remiss in not seeking out those worthy of praise and giving them their due. Woot, you are become the prophet of the twin gods Sexy & Awesome. (I think they're screwing each other. I think they're screwing each other while looking at your work- I think they're screwing eachother as a result of looking at your work.) Milk & Cookies is the best Breast Expansion-related work I have ever seen on the internet, or anywhere else. That's subjective of course- you're just happening to be using an almost perfect combination of all the elements I like best- but still. Wow. It happened that I tried to make a peanut butter sandwich for lunch sometime after first reading your sequence. I couldn't look directly at the peanut butter. I had to come back and write this. How does Milk & Cookies Sextacularly Awesomocitate? Let me count the ways: 1) CHARACTERS! Andrea and Jess have names and personalities. Hints are given to establish their lives outside of this story. Every picture does an excellent job of conveying their emotions, and the narative brings them alive with believeable thoughts and desires. What dialogue there is is well written. 2) ROMANCE! Andrea and Jess know each other well, but still get to learn more about one another. They are concerned both about their past and future together. They have deep emotional needs as well as physical ones. They actually like eachother, personally, something that pathetically few sexual parteners in any medium of porn ever seem to do. The plot is as much about the personal obstacles to them being together as it is about Andrea's growth. 3) SAPPHOEROTICISM! Quiet a word, eh? I wish I got to use it more. The sexual tension between Andrea and Jess is so thick it could be used as a personal lubricant. Both characters' deep sexual desire for one another is all the richer for the conflicts you have given them; and yet you've managed this while completely avoiding the actual issue of homosexuality. Andrea's speeches are worthy of the poetess herself. 4) PACING! Good god I get tired of seeing characters already sweat-soaked and fucking away in full-page panels by the second page of a story. Tension takes time to build, and not many artist/authors are willing to take their time and create the extra content. On the other hand, there are story authors who have no problem with writing a fifteen-chapter novella in which the BE happens at the end of chapter fourteen, and chapter fifteen is all epilogue. You've managed to give us sixteen solid pages of smut so far, developing your characters all the while, and yet still holding something huge in reserve to keep us checking back for more every day. 5) ART! It should go without saying, yet I must say it still! Your anatomy is excellent considering how big you draw your girls, which isn't easy to do. Your poses are natural, your facial expressions are clear and very appropriate. Every picture does a wonderful job of conveying emotion and making the characters come alive. You do an outstanding job with clothes. Your backgrounds are simple enough that they don't distract from the subject, yet they capably indicate setting. 6) DESCRIPTIVE NARRATIVE! Your talent for writing this sort of stuff is more than equal to your talent for drawing it, and that's a tremendous combination. You've applyied alliterative adjectives abundantly, and every paragraph is bursting with juicy chunks of description. Pupils are dilated, mouths are busy, breasts are soft, and peanut butter has a rich, roasted aroma. 7) PROCESS! Slow change is hard to show smoothly, and you're doing it superbly. One thing that strikes me is that so far ALL the transformation has been off-stage, but your excellent balance of pictures and narrative means that we've always been seeing the best parts. I believe that a very important and often overlooked aspect of transformation is Mental Process. Generally artists end their transformations with the subject either appalled, artificially giddy, or totally reformatted mentally. It's uncommon, even in stories, that we get to see a transformation subject fully progress through the five stages of acceptance into that glorious sixth stage of "I love my new body!" But you've shown us Andrea growing inside as well as out, and that is by far the best thing about Milk & Cookies. I have one complaint. The sixteenth picture, of Andrea in the bathrobe, is the third picture in a row of Andrea with an unhappy look on her face. This is running contrary to the narrative, which has made it clear that at this point Andrea is quite happy with herself. I understand that the picture is meant to correspond with Andrea's reaction to Jess's lukewarm response to the sight of the new her, but three unhappy Andrea pictures in a row is killing the mood you've built up. I don't know how strongly you feel about redundancy, but considering the overall level of quality you've hit so far, I think this scene REALLY deserves two separate pictures of Andrea before we see whatever it is that Jess is hiding. One of her presenting herself to Andrea, enamoured with her new measurements- say, striking a pose at the end of that twirl. You could go ahead and leave the 'Pensive Andrea' as the second picture, but part of what makes this scene so powerful is Andrea's anger, and frankly that isn't coming through in this snapshot- it looks like you've chosen the moment of her realization that something is wrong, which doesn't do the story justice. She's not saying anything, and even though Jess is off-panel, Andrea appears to be looking off to the side rather than making eye-contact with her. I strongly feel that a picture of Andrea looking directly at the off-panel Jess while verbally confronting her would do a much better job of conveying what's passing between them. You could put the happy, posing Andrea as picture sixteen, cutting off the narrative after "There was a wrongness about the situation that she coudn't pinpoint." Then make the speaking Andrea picture seventeen, and pick up with "Yeah, I really do. You look good.", and then just end the narrative where sixteen ends now and do the next installment however you were already planning. Again, everything about your work is spectacular. I apologize for nitpicking like this but I really think this change would make a huge positive difference. Thank you so much for pouring all the time, effort, craft, and love into this work that you already have, and I'll be waiting excitedly to see what you turn out next. __________________ Musical Process: The Process Forum Soundtrack Last edited by Very_Good_Karma; 03-02-2007 at 01:53 PM.

02-21-2007	#49
SoylentOrange Process Disciple Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 4,920	That is some quality BE right there. I can't wait to see how these two end up. (Hopefully in 20 more chapters or so. )

02-21-2007	#50
shadow Guest Posts: n/a	I liked her better with the big belly... It looked so squishy and cute...

03-01-2007	#55
Murasashi Zero M. Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 653	Bump, for the next page is up...Not sure what to say of it, doesn't appear to have any text at the moment...

03-02-2007	#59
w_oo_t Frequent Poster Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 124	Long indeed, but more importantly, well thought out. I'm glad you're liking the series as you pointed out in points 1 through 7. I'd like to comment on just a few of those 3) I love learning new words. I looked up Sappho in the dictionary and it said "early 6th century B.C.; Gr. lyric poet of Lesbos" which makes her sound AWESOME! 7) The off stage nature of the process so far is tied to the method (essentially food) being a slow one. Andrea gets a bellyfull of milk, and her body shuts down for two or three days so it can distribute it all. This cycle leaves Jessica a lot of time to herself to think, eat, second-guess, and worry. The complaint you bring up is valid. By this point Andrea is comfortable and happy with her body, but #14 was showing her yelp at the icy water, #15 doing battle with her pants, and #16 deflating after her friend's nonplussed reaction, realizing something was up. Its funny because I was about to submit #16 with a wide grin, but as I thought more and more about the scene ahead I decided a somber expression would be a better fit. I wish there was a way to insert a new story and image and bump this segment up to #17. The new #16 would be a fluff bit centered on Andrea in the bathroom drying off from her shower. Actually I know how I could do it but it involves repainting the current 16 to post as 17, then repainting (wholly replacing) the current 16 and writing the new story to go with it as a comment. Confusing eh?

03-04-2007	#60
SoylentOrange Process Disciple Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 4,920	Just to let everyone know, woot went ahead and inserted a new #16, making the already-posted #16, #17.