From Dead To Alive (Age Progression Short Story)

[bstgate]

Great start! As much as age progression, this also has some nice Increased Beauty.

[The AP Ninja]

Originally Posted by bstgate

Great start! As much as age progression, this also has some nice Increased Beauty.

omg...Has someone just commented? This is a miracle! Thanks
I have the first two rounds already written in Spanish, my mother language...it will took a while until they are fully translated

[godleydemon]

Originally Posted by The AP Ninja

omg...Has someone just commented? This is a miracle! Thanks
I have the first two rounds already written in Spanish, my mother language...it will took a while until they are fully translated

You might try messaging MaxAP, same mother language and a godly amazing writer of attribute theft, age progression, age regression, ect.

[The AP Ninja]

Originally Posted by godleydemon

You might try messaging MaxAP, same mother language and a godly amazing writer of attribute theft, age progression, age regression, ect.

Thanks godleydemon good to hear that there are some good writers with my mother language out there....

BTW second part written in the first post, everyone

[godleydemon]

Originally Posted by The AP Ninja

Thanks godleydemon good to hear that there are some good writers with my mother language out there....

BTW second part written in the first post, everyone

Kind of strange for a story to fast forward 3 hours like that. But not to bad really. If you want, this would be a really great chance to go back through and flesh out some more of the story. Introduce more characters and conflicts. The transformations are pretty darn well laid out. But the story and characters are a little hard to get behind, because there isn't much there to them.

[The AP Ninja]

Originally Posted by godleydemon

Kind of strange for a story to fast forward 3 hours like that. But not to bad really. If you want, this would be a really great chance to go back through and flesh out some more of the story. Introduce more characters and conflicts. The transformations are pretty darn well laid out. But the story and characters are a little hard to get behind, because there isn't much there to them.

You are pretty much right...
This character didn't have much to tell about but I dont introduce her as I should... I didn't want to add much more plot to it because it was getting a bit long...and about the three hours I just wanted to make you see that she was so enchanted with her new body that she didn't even know how far she was going...in fact she doesn't even go back home...
But given that this perjuices the story rather than beneficiate it
I will probably check this story again and probably introduce more plot

Thanks for the opinion and the cheers

[godleydemon]

Originally Posted by The AP Ninja

You are pretty much right...
This character didn't have much to tell about but I dont introduce her as I should... I didn't want to add much more plot to it because it was getting a bit long...and about the three hours I just wanted to make you see that she was so enchanted with her new body that she didn't even know how far she was going...in fact she doesn't even go back home...
But given that this perjuices the story rather than beneficiate it
I will probably check this story again and probably introduce more plot

Thanks for the opinion and the cheers

Yeah no problem, I help out Max sometimes as well. Just offering advice and constructive crit on some of it. I think I even edited a couple of his stories as well. Can't wait to see some more of your writing and how much better you get